Why do people act so bad at funerals ?

Question

my grandmother died last monday and at the viewing family members showed up with drinks in their hands . i find this awful and disrespectful. has anyone else had this happen ??

Answer 1

Depends on what your grandmother was like. I had an aunt that truly enjoyed life and lived each day to the fullest. She never complained about all her aches and pains and tried to make everyone smile. She always said that when she died to just load her in the back of her son's pickup truck, take her to the cemetery, and put her in the ground. She wouldn't care because she would be dead. Well she got the last laugh on all who said that was a stupid idea. At her request, after the service we loaded her casket into her sons pickup truck and took her to the cemetery. So if family members showed up with drinks in their hands in remembrance of your grandmother and she would not have minded, let it go. If they did it for any other reason, then I too would have thought it disrespectful.

Answer 2

Yea thats pretty wild. I went to my grandmothers funeral and my uncle was high as a kite with sunglasses on the whole time during the funeral. Very sad.. Im sorry to hear about your loss....god bless you

Answer 3

Yes, it is rude, it is disrespectful and it is disruptive to other families if there are other visitings taking place in the funeral home.

I'm a funeral director and over the years I think I've seen it all!  I've seen family members show up for visitation drunk, high, over medicated to the point of non functional.  I've seen fist fights between family members, split families that had to have visiting at different times, I've been hit by a drunk son, I've had to pull a drunk wife off the casket while she was trying to get up inside it.

I had one family where it took 3 days to get the arrangements completed because they sat around the table fighting about every decision to be made that I ended up sending them home!

Death is never easy and when there is any kind of dsyfunction in a family, all the problems seem to surface and get out of control during the funeral process.  It is a very unproductive way of dealing with grief and it's most unfortunate they can't put their hatred and bitterness on the back burner for 3-4 days to get their loved one buried or cremated.

Often money and inheritance creates problems.....family members who have had nothing to do with the deceased for years come out of the woodwork at the time of death wanting their piece of the pie!

Thank goodness it's only a small percentage of families who are like that.  The majority of them are very good.

Just a point I'd like to mention......it never fails when a young person is killed in a car, boating, snowmobile or other accident as a result of alcohol, usually they are under age. There are always heaps of young people who show up for the visiting and funeral and it is beyond my comprehension how so many of the friends stay out in the parking lot drinking booze out of the trunks of their cars!  It's like they just don't get it!

Answer 4

They are trying to numb the feelings.  Some people simplyy do that by drinking alcohol or even take a drug.  

Answer 5

Yes it is very disrespectful.  There is a place for everything.  A funeral parlor is not the place for drinking.  No this has never happened to me.

Answer 6

  Sorry to hear about your Grandmother,GG, And the lack of respect was a sad thing. Not only did they disrespect your Grandmother, They showed a lack of respect for themselves. Sorry!