Why do people adopt?

Question

There are obviously more people who want babies than there are babies to go around.

Prospective and adoptive parents seem to be willing to go through so much, and spend so much money to raise a child that is NOT biologically related to them--why?

Why can't people just go on as nature intended, childless?

I truly don't understand.

Answer 1

some people can never get children or they want other orphans to have a mother so they feel nice

Answer 2

Have you ever visited an orphanage? If you have a heart and you go to a place where there are many children who have no home and no one to call mom or dad, no private bedroom area, no one to help cook breakfast with or bake cookies with or throw a ball with, how could you not understand why people would want to try to help these children? It takes a very SPECIAL person to accept a child into their life along with the responsibility to raise that child and love that child. I admire these people tremendously. Children need homes and families. Some people cannot imagine living their lives without children while others adapt to not having children. It is amazing that some people can love enough to share their home with a child that has no home, no parents and is not their biological child.  I'm amazed that a person would not  understand why people would want to do it. I don't think there is any greater gift to give than to give your home and your love and your life to a homeless child. Ask Faith Hill or Dave Thomas (Wendys). They were both adopted.

Answer 3

There maybe more people wanting babies than babies that are available to be adopted, but there are thousands of older children around the world who would like a "forever" family.  Why should I not adopt a 4 year old who has been in foster care for years just because I cannot have a baby right now?  Why not provide a loving set of parents to a child that has been bounced around the system for years?  Why not provide the nurturing and therapy to a child who has not been given a fair chance at life?  I fail to see what biology has to do with it at all.

Answer 4

Your kind of right. There aren't enough babies to go around but there are pleanty of children that need homes.

Secondly people adopt for lots of reasons. Some adopt because as you put it they can't have children.  They really want a child so they adopt one that needs a home. The problem comes when people try to only adopt new borns. Then people adopt because they feel for lack of a better word sad for kids that need help.  They usually get the older kids or teens that are in orphangaes or foster care.  Yes the children are not yours biologically but you do love them and raise them as your own.  Then there are others like my wife and I we have a biological child and we love her very much. For health reasons we are not having more children but we want at least one more child so we will be adopting to complete our family.  Finally people adopt their family members. If a parents dies, or is unfit some family members will rather than just rasing the child they  adopt them to make them feel like they are permant and have a home

Answer 5

The original poster did not say "kids", she said "babies".

Adopting a new born baby is an expensive endeavor, and yes there is a line. There ARE more people who want new borns then there are newborns.

And because so many people are waiting 1, 2, 3 years to adopt a new born, kids in foster care just sit there and never get adopted. That is just silly.

It's the kids in foster care that need homes.

Answer 6

There are NOT more people who want kids, than kids who need parents. There are about 500,000 kids in foster care at any given time, and about 150,000 are up for adoption.

We are adopting because we love children, and want to give them a good, loving home. We plan to adopt a set of siblings, which are typically the hardest to place. We want to give a set of children(2 or 3 hopefully, but as many as 4 would be great) and loving, caring, stable home that they've never had.

We also have 1 child, and are trying to concieve another. We don't have fertility problems(thank the FSM), we just feel the need to love and care for as many children as our finances allow. We're not going to have a lot of biolgical children, when there are so many children in this world who need loving parents already.

Frankly, if you don't understand the need/want/urge to adopt, and giving a child a home, then you probably won't be swayed by anyone's arguments. So, I'm probably just wasting my time typing out this answer.

Answer 7

G'day. I adopted my wife's 3 kids 3 years into the marriage... their natural farther sent the papers! Now the are grown up and we have a very close relationship.

That's why.

Answer 8

It's a need, emotionally and mentally mostly. Couples that are not able to produce may have had always wanted their own children. Most of the time, couples get married in hopes to start a family and when time comes, they find out a painful truth. Most people in life, getting married and starting their own family is one of their long term goals. It is probably shattering to not be able to achieve something you've always dreamed about.

I personally want to adopt. My reason is that I want a family that consists of members that I can relate to and know how to help and love.

I came from a broken family and it hurt me to have gone so much when I could be doing so much better with a family that can love me and give me a better shot at life. I myself is broken and I want to adopt children that has been broken too in hopes that we can make each other whole. I know how it's like to be unwanted and I know there are children out there that needs someone to protect them and love them. Unlike my parents, I will never leave my children, adopted or otherwise.

Answer 9

If you can't understand this I really hope you don't have children.

Answer 10

Do you love anyone who's not biologically related to you? Can you imagine your life without them? Is there anyone in your life who is not related by blood (life partner, maybe?) whose needs you'd put above your blood relatives?

We love children because they're created by God, not because we've given birth to them/were their sperm donor.

Answer 11

First, it's not true that there are more people who want babies than there are babies.  Otherwise, population growth would not be exponential, and it is (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Population_...

It is, however, difficult to surmount the cultural and social boundaries to adoption, which makes it expensive and time consuming.  

This is all worthwhile to the child who gets a home where they are truly wanted and to the parent able to adopt and form the family that they've always wanted.

In terms that perhaps even you can understand: people buy expensive sportscars because they want them.  The cost and difficulty does not prevent them from fulfilling their dream.  

And the sportscar doesn't even benefit.

There are those who give just because it is the right thing to do and they know the happiness that comes from it.

Answer 12

I guess you must be male.  It's a mother thing!  Most women want to be mothers.  And if they can't, then they are willing and caring enough to give a child that does not have a home, or would be in a bad situation a home.  That's great!

Most people want family.  Someone to carry on the family name, someone that needs them, someone to love.  A childless family who has love and security to give a child is a blessing.

If you don't understand, ask a couple of people who have adopted their reasons.  Giving and getting love is most important to anyone.

Answer 13

The question should be: "Why do many people give their children away?" That's what you should ask.

There are so many children who don't know their mother, father or family based upon death, jail and addiction. Why should these children be abandoned and it is not their fault that they were created and born? What many people should do, especially many superstars: adopt children here in the USA. How would you feel if your family abandoned you and you were left in an orphanage? Every child should have a family regardless if its biological or not. Many children who feel that they were left and no one wanted them have many issues, such as abandonment, emotion, trust and loyalty.

Answer 14

I've read your answers and questions and you seem to be focussed on adoption issues.

I'm not sure if your questions and answers are because you were adopted and need a reason for it, or whether you want to adopt and seek acceptance.

Adoption is ok. Perfectly ok for both the parents and the child who usually gets a better life than would be offered by the natural parent.

When a man and a woman are in love and can't have children naturally, adoption is the ideal way to share their love.

I

Answer 15

Maybe they have so much love to give.

Answer 16

Becuase some women cant get pranagt and have health problems or they are scared to get prangant or they just wanna help a kid in need of a home. And CHILDREN ARE 100% SPECIAL! :P Im a kid and i say so! Adults are like.... eghh!

Answer 17

This is the most IGNORANT statement that I have ever read. I have a lot to say on this matter, but you seem way too ignorant to even grasp anything anyone is saying.

FOR ALL YOU PEOPLE THAT ADOPT AND GO THROUGH THE LONG PROCESS.......I THINK YOU ARE GREAT PEOPLE WHO HAVE A LOT OF LOVE FOR A CHILD THAT EITHER COULDNT BE TAKEN CARE OF AT THE TIME, NOT WANTED, ABUSED, NEGLECTED....ETC. YOU ARE TRULY ANGELS!

Hopefully nature intended you to be childless.....

Answer 18

For one some people can’t have natural children and still want to be parents. Some people want to give a child that needs a loving home, a home.  There are people who have both adopted and biological children. I know a couple had two natural children and then decided to adopt, not because they couldn’t have more bio kids but because they wanted to adopt. Yeah  adoption can be a roller coaster rider and can cost a lot, but so can couples who go through fertility treatments.

Why cant some people just get that biology is not everything? I guess some people are very narrow minded.

Answer 19

If you don't understand please don't become a parent. For some people there is a very strong desire to raise a child. I look forward to teaching my daughter about the world, seeing things thru her eyes, doing things as a family.... Maybe its chemical. I know several people who don't want children. But for those who do, being able to surmount obstacles is a gift. I'm interested in adoption because my pregnancy experiences were very unpleasant and I don't think I could handle doing another.

Answer 20

well you don't need to understand why people adopt. I don't understand why it is your business in the first place. I don't undertstand why your so unsympathetic and heartless!!!

Answer 21

Some people really want children.  They probably think that by adopting they are doing a good thing, helping a mother who is in "need" and providing a baby with a home.

People just don't do all their research and are under the impression that they really are doing a good thing.

Answer 22

Is it also your belief that a person born without arms, should not get a prosthesis?  A person who is paralyzed, should not receive therapy to learn to walk again?  A person with cancer should not receive treatment as they are not intended to live?  Being infertile does not mean that I cannot parent a child, it simply means that I cannot give birth to one.  

Nature may have intended for me to be childless but thankfully God did not have the same intentions.  For He blessed us with a child who needed a family since his biological family could not raise him or handle his special needs.  God put us together, and regardless of whether or not I gave birth to my son - he is just that - my son.  I would not trade him for the world.

Answer 23

ha...ha.....that's a joke man...... why you want to have girl friend n get married? cause of loneliness...right? so do you want to end up lonely when old?(look at the bright side) today there's more babies around in the world that needs a home cause of early pregnancy n below age. so what is ur main problem to be more understand? aren't you want to have a happy place where we call it home? or you are different?

Answer 24

If i could find my biological mother i would love to ask her WHY she gave me up, but years later(i just found out) it really doesn't matter cause my adopted parents are my REAL parents and i know of no other, I do know that my adopted mom could not have kids and suffered 3 miscarriages and adopted me and my brother. I am who i am today because of her educating me and most of all LOVING me (she passed recently and life is not the same without her) God bless people who adopt and give kids a chance at life!

Answer 25

People chose to adopt for many of the same reasons that people have biological children, they want to be parents, and feel that they can provide a great life for their child. Those who have biological children don't have children just to pass on their genes.

Pregancy and childbirth is not always an easy thing either.

Many women have difficult pregnancies or complications at childbirth. Many women also go through years of fertility treatments which can be very expensive, and mentally and physically exhausting, and yet they feel it's worth going through all of that to become a family. I don't see why it's hard to understand why adoptive parents would be willing to go through a lot for a child as well.

While there are more prospective adoptive parents waiting to adopt a healthy newborn in the US, there are many babies who have already been born and relinquished waiting for families all over the world, that's why many parents choose international adoption. But even for those who do adopt domestically, it's not always a long drawn out process, and in the end I'm sure they feel, just like any parent, that it was well worth it.

Answer 26

If you really can't understand this? I am not sure that it can be explained to you.

Answer 27

There are tons of people who desperately want children and can't have them and there are also tons of people, not always but usually very young having children and unable to care for them. If someone really wanted a child they really wouldn't care where the child came from or who the bio parents are. They love  the baby as theirs and it is theirs. I know I love children and even though im only 13 im in 7th heaven when i get to baby sit even when its like with 3-4 kids under 3. If I'm unable to ever unable to have children I will promise you I will adopt as many children as I can afford to adopt and raise.

Answer 28

I'm not sure what the point of your question is or why you want to know or why it matters what people say the answer is. Why do people get married? Why do people take care of each other? Why do people have pets? I think people want to have a family, they want to connect, they want to create a life for themselves and each other. All animals are capable of adoption -- animals have a need to care for each other and a desire to care for their young whether they literally produced them or not. What is it that you don't understand? Have you ever held a baby? Have you ever seen a baby? Have you ever felt drawn to a child? People certainly can and certainly do go on as you say "as nature intended, childless." Are you saying those who "can't" have biological children "should" stay childless because that's how nature intended it? Is that what makes sense to you? If you got poison ivy would you just do what nature intended and scratch yourself to death or might you use something to soothe yourself? Do you walk everywhere or have you ever been in a car? Why don't you just walk or run whenever you want to go somewhere if that's obviously what nature intended? I don't think adopting a child has anything at all to do with changing what nature intended. And no one is telling anyone that they should not remain childless unless they want to. I don't really understand the reason for your question or what it is you don't get?

Answer 29

I'm not sure where you got your facts from, but they're completely distorted.

There are more babies than there are willing people to adopt them. And as to your question of why someone would adopt a child that isn't theirs, its simple. Some people cannot have children, in other cases, people just can't stand to see an innocent child go thru the foster care system. And take it from a former orphan, the foster care system is NO JOKE. Most never get adopted, and before long they make a bad decision and commit a crime, then they become a ward of the state and now they're in the penal system.

And if we all went childless, then we wouldn't be able to have children to ask dumb questions like this.

Answer 30

I guess some people are just that DESPERATE to be parents. Perhaps they've bought into the social conditioning that it's what adults are supposed to do; raise babies.  Maybe they are narrassitic and long for a little being to mold into their likeness...if they were infertile they are likely trying to recover a sense of wholeness or completeness they percieve was deneyed to them by their faulty reproductive organs.

The perception that adoption can cure infertility is unfortunatly quite prevelant. So many people will go through all kinds of un-natural labratory procedures and when it finally fails or they just give up on that - suddenly they are gung-ho about adopting. Why can't they admit this is a second choice and realize that they wanted their "own" baby, a baby wants his OWN mother and family as well. Perhaps adoptive parents are capable of loving someone else's child...but will the baby love them? Biology trumps legal documents everytime.

Babies don't care whose names are on a piece of paper, they want the woman who nurished, carried and grew him/her for 40 weeks.

Then there's the other catagory of adopters...the do-gooders.

Maybe they get off on the praise of the uninformed who assume it's a noble thing to raise some "crack w***e's baby" The reality is the noble thing to do would be to support the mother and help her learn to parent her baby.

Answer 31

So if people carried on 'as nature intended' - what would you do with the unwanted or surplus children who are today adopted into loving and caring homes? Toss them in the garbage?

The reason people adopt is because they are unable to have children, or, because of genetic problems, are unwilling to pass those problems on to the next generation. But that doesn't mean they don't have room in their hearts and their homes for a child. And when you adopt a child, it becomes 'your' child. For better or for worse - just as when you marry, you take on your partner, for better or for worse, and work with them to form a family.

Our family tree has a number of adopted children, step children and other non-biologically related children, and we love them all.