Why do people ask embarrassing, rude questions about your appearance?

Question

I'm honestly confused about this. When someone looks "different," why in god's name would you ask them about it? Like, I used to have a mole on my leg, and people I didn't know very well would come up to me and ask what it was, and if I'd gotten it "checked out." Does this kind of thing p**s anyone else off? People noticing something embarrassing about you and pointing it out in the form of a question? This girl once pointed at a zit on my face, and asked what it was. What do you think I'm going to say? Really?

Are these people trying to make me feel stupid, or are they just innocently curious, and tactless? If *you* ask questions like this - why??

Answer 1

Imagine this.... if everbody in the world ran to the doctors to have a mole checked out  just because of a fear of melanoma... what would doctors offices be like? Chaos. They sound ( not to be nasty, just honest)... stupid. Alot of people don't know how to mind their own business. I would just tell them to their face " don't worry about it . "

Answer 2

I think they're just innocently curious and tactless.  I've had people ask about zits before too, but they thought I had some sort of sore.  I'm a teacher, so most of my coworkers are women.  There's a guy at school who is constantly assuming various women are pregnant, when in reality, we've just put on a few pounds or are wearing an empire waist.  Even when we tell him we're not pregnant, he still doesn't realize that his even asking is rude.

Answer 3

People ask embarrassing, rude questions about your appearance because they have no manners, period. Fear not, you are not alone. For example, I have rosacea, and sometimes (especially when it's hot) I will get very red - coworkers are always saying to me, "Holly, your face is very red you know!" Inside my head I'm always replying, "REALLY? I had no idea! Thanks for sharing!" The key to dealing with these people is to remember that being polite does not always mean being accommodating. That is, don't feel like you must get into a conversation about the mole on your leg - it's your leg, after all. Simply stating, "I appreciate your concern but I'd rather not discuss it" should get the point across.

Best Regards,

Holly

Answer 4

I guess, if I am honest, there have been occasions when I have seen, for example, a young man with one leg. I have wanted to ask what happened. That is out of curiosity and concern. For the same reason I might say 'wow, that's an unusual sweater, where did you get it'.

But also I have sometimes wanted to say 'actually you have one leg, and I have a disability as well but it is obscured by my clothing, there are more people than you realise who have problems you can't see'.

As for the mole, some people are ignorant of the dangers of malignant melanoma, those people who commented had probably lost someone dear to them and learned the lesson. They wanted to stop anything bad happening to you. But you are right, we do put too much store by appearance.