Why do people assume that high school teaches good social skills?

Question

Seriously, every time someone on this board asks anything that has any slight relationship to social skills or whether people should try homeschooling, people come streaming out of the woodwork, saying that high school teaches good social skills. This isn't even a complaint about people who think that homeschooling creates anti-social loaners, what I want to know is why they (or you, if you are one of them) think that high school is a good place to learn social skills?

High school traps people in cliques, allows bullies to harass (or do worse) in ways that would be illegal if they weren't in school, is more racially segregated than almost anything else (yes, much more than private schools), does nothing to help shy kids become less shy, and everyone they meet is from the same basic background as they are.

So where's the good part?

Answer 1

I dont feel that way. I do feel that it does provide for more oppertunitys for kids.

Also, At my school nobody is trapped in cliques and if your getting bullyed its because your a jerk. High school introduces kids to a whole new perspective. It allows you to choose your friends and a path. I feel thats where kids come out of their shell.

Answer 2

Why do they...

I think *some* people confuse social skills with conformity.

I think *some* people confuse being up to date and into pop culture an important part of social skills.

Others are just: 1) trouble makers; 2) uninformed; 3) politically motivated; 4) have their own personal (family relationship) problems; and so on.

I think the naysayers are some combination of the above.

----

I came across this rather old Q&A that seem relevant and I'll quote part of the question detail:

Social skills are the skills that enable a person to interact and communicate with others in a meaningful way. Social skills are closely allied to Emotional Intelligence (EI)- a kind of intelligence or skill that involves the ability to perceive, assess and positively influence one's own and other people's emotions. In order to interact effectively with others, one has to be able to monitor and control one's own emotional state.

There are a number of attributes or skills that can generally be included:

* The ability to remain appropriately calm in social situations.

* 'Active' listening skills

* Feeling empathy with other people

* Rapport building skills.

* Appropriate degree of self disclosure.

* Appropriate eye contact.

---

If you use the above list as a benchmark ... well, you should get the picture.

Another thing that I find interesting is that we and other homeschoolers we know make a conscious and specific effort to teach social skills - manners, behavior, behavior with the opposite s*x, work ethic, etiquette, etc.

Answer 3

High school may not teach social skills, but it teaches coping skills. It's also a place and time where some of your last childhood memories will come from. You're almost an adult now, so you don't have much childhood left. Many people think you should have those memories in the last place you'll ever be, where all of your piers are your own age.

The problem with this, is that school NOW, is not what school WAS. They need to start getting serious about things and quit playing with the trouble makers. If the teachers and administration had any power...school wouldn't be a scary place. Cliques happen. They always have and always will, and you don't HAVE to be 'trapped' in them. The bullies and racial c**p can be handled, too...if the administration would step in and be proactive...not REactive.

Answer 4

Because they don't understand why someone would want to be home schooled because they weren't home schooled. I go to public school and I know people who are and have been home schooled and they are WAY more social then I am. They have so many friends in our community (young and old) and they are very smart. Besides if people don't understand something they resent it, when I decided to go to an all girls public school people were like I wasn't going to know how to deal with boys but I I do so it's no big deal.

Answer 5

I believe that people who state that are often just going along with the only thing they've ever known.  And fear of the unknown creates a lot of hesitation to try anything different, such as homeschooling.

What was once the norm (school at home) became almost unheard-of in later years, and those who homeschooled were considered "different."  Times are changing, and home schooling is becoming once again more "normal."

Answer 6

I don't have a good answer for you but you can see from some of the answers that you have received to this question, that people are living in a dream world and create their own reality.

People here have said that public school creates teamwork... ummm..yea, I have seen something that resembled that in the school where I work.  There will be a team project and one student will end up doing it all while the others sit back and take credit for project.  

There are other answers that gave me a real laugh..   I just get so tired of wasting my efforts in trying to explain it.   I guess we can let them continue to pretend to believe in the dreamworld of perfect kids being graduated from perfect public schools and continue to be perfect through college and into perfect careers and families raising perfect kids in the perfect public schools.    Meanwhile, I'll work in the schools and homeschool my son.  

I'm glad his learning experience is not confined to 4 walls of  a classroom.

Answer 7

I dont' see how being in 4 walls all day with kids of the same age is socializing. SOmetimes they can't talk in class, this is socializing?

YOu have to endure and suffer bullying,killing, drugs, s*x, disrespect. THis is socializing?

No thanks!!

Answer 8

well there's also the group projects & assignments. so this promotes interaction with the people in the group. they'll get to know about each other's interests, as well as achieving teamwork.

There's also a time when a person won't know anyone in a class and friendships will build once that person starts to talk to another person in the class.

Answer 9

Well I understand completely about homeschool.. schools are scary nowadays but the thing that worries me about homeschool is I have seen some that don't teach their children properly. I have recently started college albeit a lil late in life cause I am 30.. but anyway I seen a few kids there and they were having trouble getting the classes they needed because they basically had to take lower classes because they couldn't make a good enough grade on their placement exam.  The reason being they weren't taught enough.. they were so far behind the public school kids.  So thats my take on homeschooling.. it is an awesome thing if you actually teach your kids what they need to know.  This day and age you have to have a good education and all I'm saying make sure if you do homeschool your kids that you give them a fighting chance.

Answer 10

wow what a good point of view. If you children are going to church, little league etc. I suppose home school should be better. However to answer your question as to why? I suppose some know they would never put that much effort into their kids so use it to justify that. Some just plain have negative things to say about what is different. I always knew it would be good but also knew I would s***w it up so never tried but admired those who did. Also the main benefit of public schools would be to allow your children to learn the skills needed to cope with the negative issues you list above. I went to public school but my Mom was very isolating. I could not play with anyone with divorced parents, anyone who's parents drank-even socially or anyone who did not profess to be Christian- and don''t even get me started about trying to have a friend whose parents didn't live in the right neighborhood. Needless to say to this day at 41 I have few friends, don't handle rejection well-everyone I was around was a kind Christian person and most were Adults so I struggle with just accepting that "hey, some people just don't have perfect social skills" so I guess home schooling could do the same thing. Kids need to learn they can have good values and still accept and live around and even be friends with those that don't.

Answer 11

The reason you didnt learn to socialize in high school is that high school just doesnt truly reflect real life.  Being bullied, disrepected as a person, and living in fear does not build self esteem.  I went to public school, dropped out at 16 because I hated the whole anti-social aspect of it all, it was not real to me and it left me numb.  I did however start living and 'socializing' after that, worked and went to college.  I was in classes with people of all ages and I loved it.  If you people are going to tell me that being bullied, beat up or sexually harassed at your workplace is ok and glad you experienced all those negs in high school to prepare you for the real world, you are full of bull.  If someone does that at work they will be demoted, sued or fired.  ooops I dont think I was supposed to answer this question considering the asker wanted to hear from those that support socializing in HighSchool, sorry I have no good parts.

Answer 12

I hear you. I was shy all through school and never went anywhere but a public school. I'm by nature an introvert and it wasn't helpful in school; school made it worse. I became much more comfortable socially in university--totally different setup for socializing. I'm not sure what I would supposedly have missed out on if I hadn't been in school during that time.

Answer 13

I went to public school.  That is exactly what persuaded me that my children were not going to go there!  I homeschooled and later 6th & 9th grade they went to Christian school which basically had the public school rejects.  My youngest went to public school for 10, 11, 12 grade out of necessity...I was repulsed at what it did to her.  Social skills in PS is terrorizing and intimidating.

Answer 14

Some people believe what they are told without question and they have been told that the experiences they have had in public school were for their own benefit.They cannot imagine an experience different from their own being better or equal to those they have had. In short, the world has too few questioning minds and creative thinkers.

Answer 15

You have a bit of a broad overgeneralization there.

Not all high schools are laden with cliques, bullies, shy wallflowers, racial segregation, etc. In some schools there are people of all different types in one group. h**l when I was in high school you had the jock, cheerleader, choir geek, band geek, popular kid, nerd, stoner, and loner all in the same group! I was a cross between the choir geek, nerd, and loner. Oh, and I almost forgot, the drama geeks. I was one of those too.

Depends on the school really. I've yet to see it be all one way or another.

EDIT:

Holy c**p. An OPINION generates THREE thumbs down. Sad that people cannot share their thoughts.