Why do people assume that just because you are young that you will be a bad mother?

Question

im only 19, my husband is 22 and im 17 weeks pregnant. alot of people have been saying that im too young and that i wouldnt be able to look after a baby at my age, they also say that im too young to be married but im very mature for my age and i am completely ready to be married and have a baby, i can understand why people would say that but its not like i was sleeping around and just got pregnant and dont know who the father is, we were planning to have a baby and are very happy about having a baby but it really depresses me when people just assume i was sleeping around, it really hurts me, my husband keeps telling me that others opinions dont matter as long as we know the truth but it still hurts me

Answer 1

I'm 18 and married as well, and I completely understand you. Don't worry, if you're ready, you're ready! And why would you sleep around if you're happily married? No worries... don't let people get to you!  

Answer 2

Some people think they know EVERYTHING. Don't worry about them. My cousin was 16 when she had her first baby and she is a wonderful mother. My SIL is 19 and is about to have a baby in 2 months. She will be a good mother. Just because you're 19, married, and are having a baby doesn't mean you're to young and won't be a good mother. There are people out there, older, who do drugs, drink, abuse their children what's so different about them other than they older? Age has nothing to do with being ready and being mature. I'm 21 and people make remarks, but I know they are wrong and everyday I will prove that. My child will never go without and will never go unloved. My DH and I don't drink or do drugs and would never abuse our child. I know it upsets you I get the same way, just try to ignore it because they don't know what they talking about and you will prove them wrong.

Congrats and GL. I hope you and your DH have a wonderful life and a happy and healthy rest of your pregnancy with your precious little miracle.

Answer 3

Because they are IGNORANT!

I had my son when I was 19, and he will be one on 9/14. I am a WONDERFUL mother, I don't like to brag on myself, and I know I should give myself more credit for things more often, but being a good mom is something that I am LOUD AND PROUD about. I am a good mom because I CHOOSE to be a good mom. I love my son more than ANYTHING on this earth

AGE IS ONLY A NUMBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PEOPLE CHOOSE TO BE A GOOD OR BAD PARENT

Answer 4

well planning to have a baby out of wedlock with no education and no savings is a very irresponsible immature thing to do. do you have health insurance?

Answer 5

Because most people aren't that responsible or mature yet to take care of another human being.  

Answer 6

small minded people. i had 2 by your age and i got some foul looks and comments. stuff them. my kids are now in primary school, both gifted and talented so i can't be doing too bad. think of them as sandpaper. they can rub you the wrong way but eventually they'll be old and worn and you'll be smooth and polished.  

Answer 7

I understand it hurts, i am 20 and 14wk pregnant with hubby also. I haven't had too many people say i am too young as most already know i am somewhat mature for my age, i finished college 3 yrs ago i own a house, have a decent well paying career with the federal police etc etc...

It is something society has to begin to accept that these days people are choosing to have children younger. But society isnt going to accept it because there are some who get pregnant for the wrong reasons ie. claiming welfare etc... Little do they realise that they have no idea of each individuals personal situation so they are making poor judgement! Dont let them get to you, its not worth the worry!

Congrats, enjoy your pregnancy and live your life to make you and your soon to be family happy! Cos at the end of the day thats all that really counts

Answer 8

It really is pure ignorance if they really do think you won't be able to cope.  You can and you will.  I think people sometimes react like this to young people having babies because I guess they are a bit dissapointed that that person is having to give up so much.  It's a really big deal having a baby, a massive responsibility that will completely take over your life and while you will cope and will no doubt love your child more than anything in the world, you will also realise that you will have to give up a lot of things that may not seem important but you may look back and wish you had waited a few more years before you had a family.  I'm 27 with a 2 year old, expecting another and I'm very happy with my little family but I also wish I had waited a few more years.  I can't imagine how I would have felt if I had started my family at 19.  Good luck, you will be fine.  All that matters right now is you and the little life in your belly.  Listen to what people have to say, but don't take any of it personally.  x

Answer 9

I actually think age should mean nothing it should be your maturity level. If your responsible and can put that childs needs before your own then by all means do as you please.

Answer 10

Haha youre 19 and people think your too young to be a mother? Im 23 and had my son when i was 20 and i didnt have people judging me. If you ask me i think having a baby at 15 or even 16 is way too young. Its a blessing to have a child that most couples would kill for because they cant conceive. Those who judge you should mind their own business because they clearly have no idea that being a parent is to love a child. There is no perfect way of parenting. We arent given books on how to parent your child.

Do the best you can because thats all you can do

Answer 11

When I read this I thought 'young' meant younger than that. I was ready to rant.

My mom had me when she was 19 and I turned out fantastic, if I do say so myself.

; )

I think 13-17 like most of the people here getting knocked up is irresponsible and most of them think they can just hand the kid to their mom and go back to life as they know it.

But you're old enough, happy to have a child, and committed to the father. Good for you and good luck with your family. I'm sure you'll do great.

Answer 12

I got married to my husband when I was 19 years old and had a baby 7 months later. (I was still 19 when I had my son) I will be married 16 years in Dec. So if you guys love each other and are prepared to raise this baby you can make it work. I know it hurts your feelings when they say stuff like that but your husband is right ignore them. They will see after you have the baby what a wonderful job you both are doing and they will back off. Good luck to you both. And congratulations...

Answer 13

There may be a reason people are telling you that you are too young.

Despite feeling that you are mature, other people who know you may feel that you are not mature and responsible.

Children are the ultimate responsiblity.  If you are up for it for the next 18 years, great.  But think about it, you have only been around 19 years, you will devote that much time to your child.  Pretty big commitment.  You are giving up your ability to be a carefree, young adult, and for some people, that is heartbreaking to see.

Answer 14

I got pregnant for my 1st child when I was 17. I had him at 18. I was single, but I had not slept around.

I heard the same things. I would be a terrible mother, my child had no chance at  a good life. I was strongly encourages by his father's parents to give him up for adoption.

My son is just starting his sophomore year at one of the top university's in our state. He was on the deans list and is also on their basketball team.

The best advice I can give is to ignore the ignorant people and comments and prove them wrong. Best of luck and congratulations!!