Why do people automatically assume because your a teenager your going to be a bad mother?

Question

I understand some teen mom's are bad mothers, but some adult mom are bad too. Have adult mom's not killed their children and beat their children and starved their children. I had my first baby when I was 19 and I think I am a great mother, I am now on my second and I loooove being a mom, My daughter has everything she could ever dream of having and all the love in the world, so why must everyone assume a teenager would be a bad mother?

Answer 1

I bet you're a great mom and I completely agree with you.

Answer 2

I think the term bad mother is misused and the concern is for how the teenage mother will be able to raise the child. While it is commendable that you were and are a good Mom, it is thought that being a teenager is hard enough! Therefore  being a teenage Mom it seems is also harder because , She still needs an education, and a way to support herself and the baby. Some adults consider  that teens are still children themselves.They have not experienced life.  So. given the hardships and pressures that are presented for any new parent society frowns on the idea of teenagers being parents.  Of course there are always exceptions to the rule.  You and your children are very fortunate.

Answer 3

people are quick to judge, in my opinion if someone my age or older has a child if they are able to take care of him/her n do well they should not be treated any different then that of an adult mother, the way i see it, is i wanna do alot of things before i have childeren but im so sure that u are a fanomanal mother to your children and dont let what others say get to u,

Answer 4

u go girl.. i am 17 with a 8month old and i KNOW im  GREAT mom.. a great single mother.. i love me son to death.!!!! he is the best thing that has happened to me..nothng can ever beat him or be on top of my son.. hes NUMBER ONE

Answer 5

Many people assume that teen moms are on welfare and won't do a thing for their children.  I don't know why they lump them in like that, I know quite a few adults who are using the system like it's theirs for the taking.

I think it's funny now that we are so critical of teen moms when our grandmothers or mothers were not very old when they started their families.  My grandmother was only 17 when she had her first.  You go back a couple generations and it gets even younger.

And some of them were terrific moms.  I don't think there should be an age limit on whether or not you will be a good mother.  It depends on you- not your age.

Answer 6

I went through that also...  I got pregnant at 17 and gave birth at 18 and everyone thought I'd be a horrible mom, including ME! But my son changed my world, he turned it up-side down and I really am grateful for that!  I needed a wake up call and boy was it a rude awakening LOL... Now I am a successful mother, wife, daughter, friend, etc. And I owe it all to him (so cliche')! You be that best mother that you can be and just know that you WILL make mistakes but in the end your daughter will be able to say that you loved her and literally gave up your life for her! God bless you and your family!

Answer 7

Usually people assume that because teenagers are not yet responsible (usually) no job, they are still in school and just arent able to care for one. That is not always the case though. Plus with having a kid, it is hard for a teenager to go to college and juggle having a baby or toddler too.

Answer 8

People are badly prejudiced and in a lot of cases wrong. However, a lot of teenagers prove the accusations right by not living up to their responsibility and therefore giving teenage parents a bad reputation still. My son was born when I was 17 and my girlfriend left us two weeks later, so I became a single Dad. She ran away from her responsibilities, leaving me to do it all by myself.

I hate it when people are prejudiced, though - and look down on young parents. I'm twenty years old and Dad of three children. I still get comments and looks because I'm young and my eldest son is 3. People just assume that all teenagers want to do is drink and have fun. We've all been through that stage or similar, but many people are able to grow up and become a good parent. When my son was born, I was a selfish and worthless heroin addict. All I did was party, drink and take drugs. I mugged people, robbed shops and lied to my family and friends. But my son was my inspiration and strength to get clean and become a good Dad. I did it, at the age of seventeen.

I think in a lot of cases people don't want to actually admit that teenagers can make equally good parents. People are often ignorant of the fact that they are prepared to do whatever it takes to be a good parent and just focus on all the bad cases.

Answer 9

Well theres a huge gap in teen moms. What I mean is look back when you were 13 to when you were 19. If a 13 has a baby she cant even get a job to provide for it. Now at 19 your considered an adult and I dont think all that many people would jump to that conclusion. Most kids at 13 14 15 etc cant take care of themselves let alone another human being. I agree being young doesnt mean anything. I got married at 19 and had our only child at 21 and I get looks that could kill. People assume young=stupid, but they are way wrong.

Answer 10

AMEN SISTER!!!

I got pregnant and had my first baby at 18. My husband went to college and I stayed home. We were the best parents that we could be at that time and under the circumstances! Sure, money was tight sometimes, but we were great parents and always loved our son. He was always first in our lives. And here we are today, 3 more kids and doing just fine.

I think it is so sad how people call pregnant teens "whores" and say stuff like "keep your legs closed next time." Those kinds of comments are uneccessary.

Now I'm not saying that I encourage teens out there to go and get pregnant, but there are far worse things that could happen. Some women CHOOSE to start their families when they are younger- around 18, 19, or 20. And there is nothing wrong with that. I wish people would just mind their own business.

When it comes to parenting, age isn't important! What's important is that you love your child and are the best parent you can be.

Answer 11

its only because being a teenager you havent had a lot of experiences and responsibilities. and everybody automatically assumes that you dont know what you want in life or where you want to go or be or do. but i do agree with what you say.

Answer 12

As long as you can pay your own way and stay off public assistance, more power to you.

Answer 13

People just htink you dont have a good head on your shoulders and you're not gonna have enough oney to support the baby. But, if you are a good mother, than good for you!

Answer 14

I KNOW RITE!!! I TOTALLY AGREE WITH U........JUST CUZ UR A TEENAGER DOESN'T MEAN U GOIN TO BE A BAD MOTHER...BE A LITTLE MORE OPEN-MINDED PPL!!!

Answer 15

I agree with you! People shouldn't assume teenagers will be bad mothers!

Answer 16

People are quick to judge. Life experience is helpful, as is patience, tact, a home, secure financial situation, a husband to support you, a good level of education, the support of family and community. However some women work hard all through their teens, twenties and increasingly through their thirties to ensure they have all of the  afore mentioned, only to find that time is not on their side. I had my first child when I was 29, I am 36 now and there are days when I would give up everything I worked for just to have the energy to get through another day of exhausting mummy work. However I would definately have made a very bad teen mum, I was like many teenagers, selfish, opinionated(still am) very naughty, lazy and wrapped up in my own self importance! Some teens come from disfunctional famillies. You are obviously none of those things so good for you.

Answer 17

I would hope that some older moms would be as responsible as you are.  Assuming is wrong about anything, including being a young mom.  Continue to love your children, and may God bless you.

Answer 18

I agree with u, i was gonna write some stuff,but i think u said it all. Kudos 2 u n ur family!

Answer 19

Every day someone asks this question.   I don't think anyone assumes that a teenager is going to be a bad mother, I think that we're sad at the waste of a life.  As a parent of daughters, I want my girls to have a fulfilled life before they settle down to have a family.  I want them to finish their education, have a career, see the world.  I want them to finish growing up, so that by the time they are parents they have more experiences, more education, more knowledge to pass on to their children.  

It's not that you're a bad mother - it's just that it's better if kids finish growing up first before they have children.  

Sure, some "adults" are bad parents.  And by the way, at 19 you were an adult.  I would still very much prefer it if my daughters saw a bit of the world first, before they had their children.

Edit:  I should have mentioned that my son became a father at 19 - his wife is an excellent mother, he let her down.  As he said, he was too young to cope.  And I agree with him.  I also live near an estate, where lots of single mothers are on benefits.  By the time they're 30, often they're exhausted and tired and wonder why their lives have passed them by.  I'm glad you managed so well,  good for you.  But the same can't be said for most teenage mothers.

You've taken the answers very personally, as though they are an attack.  You asked the question.  Let me ask you one - was your mother pleased?  And will you be pleased when your daughter becomes a young mother?

Answer 20

Because all teenagers are brats and don't know most of what they think they do!

Pthurpthurpthurpthpthpthpthhh......pth...

Answer 21

I agree with you. It's just people underestimate teens.

Answer 22

i agree. it's unfortunate that people automatically assume all teenage mothers are unfit. i think it's great that you are such a caring mother. the world could definitely use more. god bless.

I ALSO WANTED TO ADD that Baby # 1 on the way- 14 weeks along .. is rude. And according to her profile she hasn't finished college yet so why does she feel the need to ask others and rub that in their faces??

Answer 23

Why are you so worried about it? People are going to make judgements like it or not. I feel an adult has more to offer a child then a 13/14 year old teenager does. Obviously with age there is usually more stability, there's more maturity, ect.

Of course, it's not that way with every adult. It's not about who's "better" and who's not, it's about who can take care of that child the best.

Answer 24

You shouldn't listen to anything people say! It's only the fact that the majoridy of mothers are young adults that they doubt teenagers, that should not be the case. I bieleve that anyone could be a good mom as long as they are responsible and they care for there child as much as possible! You are a great mom!!!

Answer 25

because its just like the news people like to talk about drama! not about how good a person is and plus adults know you still have alot of growing up to do still and some can do that with lil problems and some just cant handle it without a child so how can they add a baby to that. i think its possible for teens to have kids and be good parents

Answer 26

Really what people see when they hear teen mother, is that you were irresponsible and got pregnant by some guy you didnt know that you met at some party, and by that judgment alone people believe that you are irresponsible and irresponsible people dont make great parents, of course this is a stereotype, and the reasons teenagers get pregnant and by whom vary widely, personally i know of a couple that are married now and she was pregnant at 18, and they are great parents.