Why do people close their questions early?

Question

Or maybe I'm just slow. But, I have often wanted to answer a question here in the adoption section, but gone to bed instead (it being 2am) and next time I look it is closed. And mostly I've just shrugged.

But the last 2 days I have found an open question and composed my reply, and then when I went to preview it, the question was already closed. Yesterday it was the question about particular adoption books not being in libraries. Because i'm a librarian my answer was probably even longer and more rambling than usual, and I was playing with my daughter also, so it did take awhile and I just emailed it to the asker.

Tonight it was the one about adoptive parents and regret over not remaining childfree. And darn it, I thought I had a pretty interesting answer. And it only took something like 30 minutes to write it. Darn!

So do people close their questions because they got the answers they want? Because they are going off the front page? Because they are going to bed? Just curious.

Answer 1

don't let it get to you. i understand what you mean though. i answer questions cus i know i don't have much internet time and jus like every parent i want "me-me time".... so when you get aggravated at your baby girl CUS THATS WHO SHE IS! your BABY!!!! she's yours now and the time you had to wait for her that was your 'pregnancy time'.... thats the way i see it. it takes a while to get adoption all settled and durrin that time your mind and home get in sync with the idea that there will be an addition to your family so YOU WERE pregnant. I was really pregnant i gave birth and all that.... but you were pregnant too its jus you could actually decorate your nursery without worryin if you were gonna fall off the ladder. if you don't understand what i'm sayin its all good. but either way i think you had an excellent reply to whoever wrote the question. and i don't know why people 'close' their question. i think sometimes they get too many negative responses so they close the question 'maybe?'....

edit= not all bio. mommys are bonded with their babies at birth thats why the baby blues and post partum are so common.

Answer 2

I agree with your assertions, and thought your analysis was spot-on.  

I agree with you about some questions, and it is frustrating.

You always give such thoughtful, articulate answers!  I wish that more APs were like you.

Thanks, Spyder.

Answer 3

Noodlesmycat has some valid points that can't be denied....

Spidermomma, great answer to question about regrets about not remaining child-free.  Very well said.

Answer 4

that was kind of a long answer so maybe next time if you just write a to the point answer it might help?  Idk, maybe they already had all good answers.  hope thats helpful.

Answer 5

It is frustrating.  I've had it happen to me.  I know that I close answers when they go off the first page and I haven't had a new answer in awhile.  I figure, by that point, the answers have petered out, and I want to reward the best one.  But I don't like cutting people off.

As for Noodles claims...  A month or two ago, she was complaining that people were letting questions go to vote.  Now she's complaining that people are closing them early?  Which is it?  Most of the people I see getting "Best Answers" get them both from askers choosing them, and from voting, so her accusation lacks any basis in fact.  As for thumbing and reporting, it seems to happen to everyone on here; the refrain is getting a little old.

Answer 6

They might have gotten the answer they thought was best. OR...maybe they get tired of all the e-mail informing them that someone answered the question.

Answer 7

People do it, because one they are trying to to prove a point, or they just want to close their answers early, or they are calling someone out.

To:

Noodlesmycat just let it go and ignore people here. Adoptees should be able to speak their truth wither you agree with them or not. Everyone is entitled to tell their story. if you don't like that, then i suggest you go someplace else. Believe me, you will always see answers you may not agree with.

Answer 8

Awe, that's awful.   I know how people put alot of time and effort into an answer and then something like that happens.

I wonder how you close a question early, I didn't know you could do that, I though you had to wait until prompted that it was time to choose best answer or extend the time.  I'm not a techie though lol

I always enjoy reading your answers and it's always refreshing to hear from an adoptive parent who doesn't consistently go out of their way to bash adult adoptees and call them names, simply because our opinion may differ.

Thanks for giving me reassurance that there are some wonderful adoptive parents out there, your child really is blessed!

Answer 9

I think part of it is that thing are kinds slow going here in adoption more than normal, so things are staying on the first page for days, like the library question. I posted it 4 days ago and got the last response 1 day ago.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Whan I get a reminder I go ahead and pick best answer, unless I want to see how people vote.

But I have closed answers the next day if I've goten a thorough answer, but thats rare.

I know that tha answer needs to stay open for like 4 hours before it can be closed.

Answer 10

I'm not sure why people close their questions early.

I did want to mention that your answer to the question was great.  I especially agree with you on part 3 of your answer.

That is one of the things I look forward to -- Seeing who my child will grow up to be, and helping them explore their possibilities.

Answer 11

I too have noticed this and wonder why.  Some questions are just offensive...I answered one yesterday, went back later to see how my answer rated...and it was gone.  Actually, I hope that question got removed by the people in charge.

I once removed one of my own questions that got a grand total of one answer after several days because it later seemed off-topic and of no particular community interest.

Answer 12

You are not slow. It is very frustrating to write out a "thought full" answer only to see the thread closed. I know you won't care for my answer but I believe it is because of the trolls who are on here all the time, unlike you and I, who are real parents with real lives. I believe they get great enjoyment slamming the first few respondents, then call their gang in (notice how they are always clustered together) and they do their thumbs downing and then pick from their clique. Hence, "they got the answers they want". This is one of the reasons I stopped asking questions because by the time it was time for me to choose the best answer, the trolls falsely reported my questions and got them deleted. I never even got to see the replies. Oh, well, c'est la guerre.

PS. You probably won't believe this but I think your reply to the question you cited is excellent. My response would have been very similar. I "wore" my daughter in her baby bjorn until she got too big for it. The Russians thought it was brutal. She loved it because she could face out, too. She's always been a social butterfly. As for the bonding and attachment, we were lucky. ALL parents have their moments when they want to pull their hair out because of the whining, noise, etc. It's normal. And no, even though there are "those" days, the good far outweighs the testy days. My daughter is my daughter for life. As parents we must remind ourselves...this too shall pass.

eta: phil, I don't know where you get off harassing me and calling me out? I did not do what you have falsely accused me of. I told the posters the truth, and you can't stand it. Your group asks the same questions over and over to start a flame war, then you either vote quickly for one of your gang members or let it go to vote and vote for yourselves. You, and your troll gang take every single word I say out of context and manipulate it into something warped, ugly and insane.  I'd be more than happy for you to ignore and not respond to my questions as I would extend the same courtesy to you. Your issues are completely different from mine. I can't contribute anything for what you've been through any more than you and your pals can to me. Don't you think it's time for your whining and passing the buck to end and for you to pick on someone your own size, for a while?

To Whatever: Thank you. I agree with you, as I think EVERYONE should be allowed to voice their own opinions. I really do try to do what you suggested. I fully realize no one ever agrees with everyone. I just wish people would be fair and kind enough to let the adoptive and foster parents be able to ask and answer our q & a's, too. There are several of us who really would like to discuss important issues about our children, without being judged, called names, put down, etc. Thanks.