Why do people concern themselves about why a woman doesn't have or want to have kids?

Question

I'm 41 and have no kids of my own. I do have a step-daughter, though Personally, I never had any overwhelming urge to reproduce. I like my life just fine. Although I like kids, I never wanted to have my own.

My extended family have gotten used to it, FINALLY, but it took a long time for them to stop asking about it. Co-workers and people who meet me for the first time though, always feel the need to inquire as to WHY I don't have kids. It seems so intrusive for them to ask and I don't like being put on the spot and grilled about it. There have been a few over the years who have asked point blank, "What is wrong with you? or "Don't you think that's selfish?", "You're not doing your duty to God and your husband?", "Who's going to visit you when you're old?", etc.......

Personally, I don't think that giving birth guarantees that you'll be a good mother or a good person and the media provides evidence of that daily. There's also no guarantee that your kids will visit you when you get old or that you will go to heaven because you had a baby. I think some folks need to get a grip!

Are there other women out there who have experienced negative feedback from others because of their choice to not have kids?

Answer 1

Those mostly come from parents who can't imagine life without their kids so they say little things like that.  I'm a mom and I really have never taken the time to care about whether or not people want to have kids. That's totally their business.

Answer 2

When people ask me why, I tell them "Because the world is overpopulated, the law of supply and demand is causing the prices of EVERYTHING to skyrocket, and I'm not somebody who selfishly has the urge to reproduce simply to extend my bloodline."

That shuts 'em up.

You should be admired for your choice, not chastised.  You are much better than the irresponsible "breeders."  There is nothing wrong with YOU, there is something wrong with THEM.  Most of them are too busy to spend much time visiting their elderly relatives anyway.

Answer 3

Oh, yeah. ANd because I have never married either (could never find a guy worth marrying) I also get to deal with the joy of people asking why I am not married. I would love to have kids but, I am against being a single mother so, I don't have kids because of my convictions.

Keep in mind that there is still the mind set out there that the family name must be carried on. You know, way back when people and families needed large families to survive. You are correct, I know a lot of horrible mothers who should have never reproduced.

When people ask me about it, I tell them that it is between Me and God and to mind their own business.

Answer 4

each to their own. i cant imagine not leaving my dna behind though. what was the point of everything then??

Answer 5

Having a child means your going to have some to take care off, someone to watch grow, someone to take care of you when your old and wrinkly. Why live a childless life when we humans were naturally suppose to reproduce???

Answer 6

The decision to have children or not is your business. Parenthood isn't for everyone.