Why do people deny that they ever had feelings for a former partner?

Question

Scenario: Married 10 or more years, things seemed more or less happy in marriage, one person leaves, gets re-married, then claims they never loved the other person despite having children with that person. Does that make the other person a liar?

Answer 1

IMO saying that you once loved a person implies that you still can understand yourself that you loved that person. Since leaving a spouse clearly shows that you really hate that person now (if you don't, then you wouldn't have done such a big decision), you could never say that you loved that person, furthermore if you are now in love with another person, that makes it a little more harder to admit.

They want to forget it because once and a while such painful memories could be reminisced undeliberately.

Answer 2

I think it's because there are so many mixed emotions, specially hatred and desillusion, pride takes a role in it, and people don't want to feel like they lost, they feel they made a mistake, and the only way to feel good about it, is by denying that there ever was something special, they don't want to play the fool, so they lie to themselves and the others, and put an image of "I am better than you". Such a shame things have to end on a low point sometimes.

Answer 3

Ego maybe...

or the person who said it uses it to remind themselves that ' oh m better off without him/her'  

Answer 4

I was married 13 years to my first husband, we have one child together and I love him still, he is my best friend. Ever time I look at my daughter I see him.

I have been remarried since 2000 to another man. But I will never forget about my life with my first husband that is part of my life. There was some bad, a reason I divorced him. But that does not change the fact that he, is someone who has been a major part of my life. And a good person.

Answer 5

maybe they once thought it was love and then they fall in love with someone else so they realise what true love is.

about moving on, stupidest thing ever...  

Answer 6

People come and people go and yes we all have all kinds of different feelings for different people, we deny them because they hurt to admit to and that is why so many people these days want to take a little pill so that they can forget all about it, they say it makes them feel better and do better, but they don't really forget they just don't work through it

Answer 7

Good Day!

I think that this has a lot to do with the feelings of guilt that certain partners feel.

Especially the one that left the other.

Not to mention, that when one partner finds a new one, there can be underlying tones of fear that their new partner will be jealous of any feelings for the person they lived with, and perhaps even had children with.

A liar?  Who isn't?  Most people are most interested in protecting their own, or their own feelings.  Some may call this lying . . .

Answer 8

Alot of times those feelings go away so it's hard to remember how they once felt.....

Answer 9

No one wants to believe imperfect beings can't love perfectly. After all, If it didn't work out, it couldn't have been *real* love could it?!