Why do people feel that it's cruel for a PWD to have a baby b/c of the risk of the child having a disability?

Question

OK. I suffered 2 strokes @ age 5. People think that if I were to get pregnant & have kids, then I would be considered "cruel" for bringing another disabled child into this world. It's not 100% guaranteed that my kid(s) will come out having strokes, OCD, depression, anxiety, & Tourette's. Am I right?

So, do you feel offended by this? 1 guy here on Y!A told me, "See, this is why people like you shouldn't breed. You need to discontinue your gene pool & get fixed NOW! No child deserves to go through that. We don't need anymore retarded people in this world." He tried to flip it on me, like I'm the 1 being cruel.

I've seen 2 disabled parents have 3 children that most folks consider normal. & I've seen normal people have kids with autism, ADHD, Down's Syndrome, you name it.

Answer 1

Just remind them about Hitler. Hitler had the same mindset. Anyone who he didn't deem "perfect" was not fit to breed and was sent to the camps.  

Answer 2

There are alot of jerks on here that have nothing better to do but say rude things. That makes them feel better about themselves. Anyway, I think if you want a baby then you should have one. You're right, it may not have a disability but even if it does it's ok. You will love the child and it will love you. I think it's wonderful. I would wish you the best and say congratulations!

Answer 3

Various "Outsiders" (Non-PWDs) have ignorant negative stereotyped predjudicial viewpoint attitudes about PWDs and do NOT have the right to judge PWDs and tell PWDs that they can not become parents and can not have children strictly due to the fact that PWDs have Disabilities. This person that told you in what he did IS an "Outsider" (Non-PWD) of the PWD Community.  



Remember the fact that "What goes around, comes around". In the future, somebody is going to judge this "Outsider" (Non-PWD) with a negative stereotyped predjudicial viewpoint attitude about something personal like this "Outsider" (Non-PWD) did with you.

In certain stituations I DO have an "US" (PWD) vs "THEM" (Non-PWD) attitude and the stituation that you mentioned about this "Outsider" (Non-PWD) makes me have an US" (PWD) vs "THEM" (Non-PWD) attitude about this Outsider" (Non-PWD).      

If you feel like you are capable of being a parent to a child, then GO for it! :-)

Answer 4

I think bringing a baby into the world is a gift. I don't see any reason for you not to have a child, as long as you will love and care for it. They have people out there that are perfectly healthy that have kids and neglect them now that cruel. Go with your heart and to h**l with what people say. You cant please everyone so it really doesnt pay to try.

Answer 5

This is part of the major taboo that some people from the majority are complaining.

They think that the disabled people should be lessen from the population.

When I discuss with some people about medicaid, they think that medicaid is associated with lazy people. They think that disabled people have an easy life while the normal people are working their butt off. They are SO wrong!

Joke about welfare has protray hard working disabled as being lazy. Welfare in the US - Preamble to the US Constitution.

"We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence,[1] promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America."

Some antiwelfare movement believe that welfare should be dismantle. Dismantle what? Dismantle as part of the Preamble of our famous US Constitution? How is getting help from welfare is not GENERAL?

Weren't they were drinking the same water as we are? Our government been paying for the water treatment and facility for our drinking water. Water is cheap! Treatment and facility for water is NOT! If government is paying for your water, it is welfare in my book.

Most disabled people has been discriminated by employer and even their own family.

In UK, there has been TV ads trying to advertise to people that discriminating disabled people is wrong. Does US has that same picture as UK?

And why welfare is easier in UK than US?

If getting a part time job hardly pay for the monthly rent, why are disabled people are labeled as "lazy"?

I believe that normal people are more materialistic and has less empathy toward problems. They watch movie and TV everyday but wouldn't stop to think the reality of their kids or grand-kids to become effected.

New and more common disease and disorder are changing society and society want to do with that? Are they trying to fight against natural disaster by cutting off support?

I mentioned about strongest being the surviving, a replied from a person told me that "that is evolution thinking". Perhap the person is right. It is evolutionist process, it not our body that is changing, it is society. Society want to become more materialistic and they cling on to capitalism as the solution. So as long as their kids and themselve become strong as having no health problem, they are the higher class than people who are less fortunate with health problem.

There is a right and wrong capitalism but when does it when the wrong has alway been rated the worse ever? Sub-prime mortgage, credit card debt, property taxes?

Shouldn't we gone back to the old day age when you can build a log cabin and not get property taxes? Or has the government want to capitalize your property? Yes. Capital. If I am alone in a forest and nobody see me in my log cabin, why would the government label me illegal if I were to do it?

Well... the people need to layoff and leave the disabled people alone. Don't try cutting off support and service for hard working disabled people.

"Grow up! Lazy bum!" - Qouted to me from my high school principal from a society without disability

Answer 6

I think the best person to decide that would be you. You've lived through it, you know exactly how hard it can be at times. If you know you could take care of a child, then go for it.

I once had a patient who was paralyzed from the neck down. he wanted children and I have to say in that case I don't think it was a good idea. He wouldn't have been able to do anything with his kid. But, I did understand the desire for kids.

Answer 7

I think it's because these people themselves can't imagine how a disabled person can live a normal and happy life, possibly even happier and better than their own. I am blind. The birth defect that caused my blindness is congenital. There is a chance that a child of mine will also have this birth defect and be at the very least severely visually impaired. My significant other is also blind and the cause of his blindness is also something he'll likely pass on to a child, so if he and I were to marry and have kids...well, you can figure out the odds. However, I don't see this as a bad thing. There's still a chance my child will be sighted, and it's not slim, but even if they aren't, blindness is no tragedy. I know from experience that a blind person can learn to rea, d, write, do math, use a computer, get around by themselves, cook and clean for themselves, travel by themselves, go on vacations, go to college, play sports, do art, perform music, enjoy movies and TV, enjoy carnivals or other special events, play cards, play board games, play "audio"games which are equivalent to video games and getting better, get a high level degree, hold a professional career, shop for themselves, build things, go on dates, socialize, have a love life, have a s*x life, care for pets, take up a hobby, have a child, raise a child, love a child, maintain a household, go out for a night on the town, plan a party, attend a party, read the news, trade stocks, take up fencing, go rock climbing, go parasailing, go fishing, get their captain's liscense, ride a bike, play soccer, give a speach, run an organization, teach school, become a lawyer, become a computer scientist, design software, write a book, build a tree house, buy a home, anything you can think of short of driving. I have either done or know a blind person who has done all of the above and more, so obviously I don't think having a child knowing they will likely be blind is cruel or wrong. It's no tragedy. Now, if I knew a child of mine would live their life in constant severe physical agony, no, I would not have kids. If I knew my child would live their life completely incapable of feeding themselves, speaking, going to the bathroom independently, bathing themselves, and would never learn how to read or write or be independent, no, I would not have kids. If I knew any child of mine would likely die a bad death very early in life, no, I would not have kids. I might be hesitant to have kids if there was a chance they would be deaf simply because I don't know if I have enough vision to communicate well all the time with sign language, and I know if I marry the significant other I mentioned above that he wouldn't be able to, but I certainly won't fret over passing on my own disability as it really is nothing life ruining. It sucks some times and it's inconvenient sometimes and it means doing a lot of things differently, but I can still do all of those same things.  

Answer 8

You are correct that your babies are no more likely to be born with disabilities than any other baby.  h**l, you weren't born with a disability, a stroke happened 5 years after you were born.    That doesn't mean your future children will have strokes.  Sometimes it is best not to post questions if the answers are going to upset you.  Some people are mean and cruel and will say anything.

Answer 9

There is no reason that guy should have told you that. It's so true that completely healthy people can have children that have disabilities and people with disabilities have children who do not. The only reason you should not have kids is if you can't take care of them. There are so many people out there who are not responsible, like teenagers, who know they can't and don't want to take care of children but have them anyway. I say, if you can, go for it.

Answer 10

in some instances depending on the disease i know it is not politically correct to say but i would consider it cruel. like in the case of huntington's disease. if a parent has the mutated gene then the parent and children will get the disease, and no one would want their kids to go through that. the effects are so awful it would be selfish to subject anyone to a future of that.  

it's all in the genes that everyone is made up of, the cards sort of speak are dealt and everyone has to play their hand. sometimes it is easier to fold then deal with the issues of what parenthood is made of.

Answer 11

you have a kid if you want a kid.  perfectly normal people have disablied kids so everyone should stop having kids if they dont want disabled kids born.

Answer 12

Don't listen to these kind of people...There are many people that are like Hitler in he sound like one....

Since I have spina bifida,,I would not worry if my child had spina bifida or not...Yes we all what a child to be born normal,but then what is normal...

If you what to have a baby then go for it...but check with your doctor to see if you are able,maybe with the pressure of a baby in you might cause you to have another stroke or worse death....Just be careful dear...

Answer 13

I'm not sure what a "PWD" is, but the attitude you quoted is an ignorant one.

It is probably inadvisable for people who suffer from a genetic disorder to have children if that disorder has a high likelihood of expression.

Most do not however, and most people who are mentally disabled are not suffering from an inheritable disorder.

The only other possible issue is this:

If parents with low enough I.Q. to be handicapped give birth to children of normal capacity, there can be parenting issues as the children will, literally, be smarter than their parents.

This would become a serious issue as they approached the teen years, so only very high-functioning handicapped people could meet this challenge effectively. (IMO)

In your particular case, a predisposition to CVAs might complicate pregnancy, but should be no barrier to having kids.

Answer 14

Honestly people are cruel. And besides like you said, who knows if your baby will be born with a "disability". Actually what truly is a disability? People just give names to things they can't explain. I am perfectly "normal", but i have just as many chances as you to giving birth to a "disabled" child. I don't find it cruel that you want to have the gift and experience of being a mother. Also no one has should say that you having a baby is cruel, actually its kind of beautiful in a way. That your taking your chances, and maybe even having faith in the fact that your child will be born without a disability. And if it is, than thats not your fault. Anyone could be born like that, and i truly don't believe that its your fault. :]

Answer 15

People with disabilities are fully entitled to have children if they so choose. But people with disabilities should consider somewhat different factors when considering parenthood. Can they financially afford to care for their children, can they manage the physical care of their children, and can the manage the emotional issues. Any of these things might be accomplished with supports.

While the guy who called you retarded and called you cruel was completely wrong, I do think you should give serious consideration as to whether you could manage being a parent emotionally and financially. You present yourself here as a person I cannot imagine as a parent.  

Answer 16

No one has to the right to judge what you want to do with your life.  Remember as I have told you before that there are many miserable and unhappy, spineless people on Y!A who's opinions are meaningless because they do nothing but try to make others as miserable as they are.  He purposely set out to try to make you feel bad and he did.  You made his day by reacting to his hatred.

There are no exact specifics when it comes to mental illness and diseases.  You are the only one who can make the choices when it comes to you having children.  Never, ever let anyone on the internet make a life decision or choice for you.  You do not know them, they are someone you don't know behind a computer screen.  Only you know what is in your heart and soul.  I know many people with disabilities who have children and I am one of them.  I've had two children who are now grown men with lives of their own.  Don't let the haters get you down.

Peace & Love  :)

Answer 17

Well if you have kids they might come out normal or they migh end up with a disablity, you never know. Of course, they will have the gene wether its hidden or not so their kids might have the disability. You, your kids, your kid's kids and so on will all have the gene and so there will always be a chance. Not do be offensive but thats just the way it works. I wouldn't consider you cruel but it's what you think that matters.

Answer 18

Who are they to decide for you.