Why do people get mad when...?

Question

Why do people get mad when...?

Why do people get mad when I decide to do my own thing? Alright I go to school at a University and well I never felt like I belonged there. In fact I never feel like I belong anywhere so I tend to be on my own a lot (loner) and it doesn't bother me at all. Well anyway, when I first started school I wanted to meet people so I tried my hardest to talk to people but I realized how two-faced they were and I always felt judge by them because I don't act like everyone else, I don't follow the norms and I probably do lack some social skills. Also there were a lot of drama there that I did not want to get involved in. I am a peaceful person and i don't like to be a part of B.S. After a while I didn't like that feeling and it was affecting my grades so I decided that the best thing I can do for myself is to be on my own. So I just didn't hang out anymore and now when people see me they give me a mean look like I owe them something. Why? I honestly don't see what the big deal is.

Answer 1

People are probably disgruntled with you because they sense your blanket condemnation of them all. (Not ALL people are two-faced; you were probably reading judgment into interactions that wasn't there.)

Look around you. Is everyone there exactly alike in every way?

Have you met no people you like at all?

I strongly suspect you're giving out a vibe of negative feeling toward everyone; they're responding to that.

If you have suddenly started to shun people you were friendly to before, they're probably some combination of hurt and offended.

Who can blame them. If someone is friendly toward you, then is suddenly hostile, how do YOU feel about them?

Your campus has counseling services; you might consider using them.

Answer 2

The sad fact of life is, that people are not accepting. You are different, you said so yourself. It's a natural thing to be skeptical of something that you don't understand. If you don't get involved in a lot of things or talk to many people then you haven't given yourself the opportunity to make people understand and respect you. The only way to get respect, is do give yourself the chance to be respected. Get out there and meet some new people if you want the looks and everything to stop. Along the way you might meet some new friends you enjoy being around. Soon you'll have a group of friends which is good, because traveling in groups is much safer than being alone. Why take all the mean looks alone when you could have people with you to back you up?

If you don't feel like you need more people in your life or anything and you're happy with who you are then just deal with the looks and continue to be a good person. =)

Hope this helped =)

Answer 3

That is a very personal question and without knowing exact details of the situation, one that is very hard to judge on the internet, just knowing a rough sketch by one of the people involved. :)

Generally, if you want to be on your own, people tend to accept that. Maybe they try and get you involved, but if you decline, they will stop trying.

However, it seems you were in touch with a couple of people for a while and then broke off contact...? I don´t know whether you have explained yourself to those people - if not and you just stopped talking to them, calling them etc., it might well be they give you a mean look because they feel irritated. I´m the kind of person that would step up to you and ask you "how come you totally ignore me now when we had a nice chat last week?", but not everybody is as outspoken. So that could account for the "mean looks" - they might actually think you "owe them something" in terms of keeping in touch. However, you didn´t give details about the process of deciding to be on your own - I could go into a totally wrong direction here. :)

You say, you don´t act like everyone else, you don´t follow the norms. Could you give an example, maybe? Human beings are basically like sheep in a flock - we tend to invite everyone in who is like we are, we tend to be irritated by people who differ from us a lot.

Without knowing the details of what is going on with people at your university (you didn´t want to get involved in "BS"....? What were they up to?) and without knowing details about how you think you "don´t follow the norms", this is really hard to judge, I am afraid.

Sorry for not having the perfect answer to your question, but again, it is quite hard to judge such individual situations via the internet. I hope I was able to show you how it could be very complex individual OR very simple basic reasons that make the people around you react in the way they did/do.

Answer 4

Most people are stupid and weak. I see nothing wrong with what you are doing although it might be a little biased since I am the same way.

Answer 5

they don't seem to like you

sorry but you asked !