Why do people give thumbs down when...?

Question

answerers suggest donating money in honor of their guests instead of giving favors when someone asks for wedding favor suggestions?

I've seen it quite a few times on here. I have suggested it and am not sure why I got thumbs down.

Just to be clear...I'm not talking about soliciting donations from the guests. I'm talking about using the money that you were going to spend on favors and donating it to your favorite charity in your guests' honor instead of giving the guests a favor.

What's wrong with it? Why the thumbs down?

Answer 1

Because the thumbs up and down is how we express our opinions in this community.  Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and when you answer a question, you put your thoughts 'out there' to be judged.  That's the rules of the game on this board, I guess you can't take it so personally that not everyone will agree with your comments.

PS: someone asked about what people's wedding gowns looked like, I spent 20 minutes typing a response about the dream dress I'm designing for myself.  I got thumbs down on that... people thumbs-downed my wedding dress... how do you think that made me feel?

Answer 2

Because not all of the community has the exact same opinions.

EDIT: Because they asked for wedding favor suggestions, and that's all they want to hear. It's like when people ask "What should I do?" after they think their girlfriend is pregnant. They don't want to hear "Well you shouldn't have been having s*x in the first place."

Answer 3

Because I look forward to eating the hershey kisses wrapped together in a bundle!  

Answer 4

Because wedding favors are to thank your guests for taking the time to be there for you!  It would be completely appropriate to have the gift money they give YOU given to a charity, but not the other way around.

Answer 5

Nothing wrong with that!! People are just jealous that they aren't as selfless as you and that they personally would not do the same. They are also thinking that as a guest, they would feel slighted, I mean, shouldn't they get to have something after attending a boring wedding ceremony? Oh, that's right, they DO get something, drinks on the house!! I think it is acceptable and even respectable to do what you suggested, people are just mad because you made them realize what a******s they are.

Answer 6

I dont know, and for me I say who care i never look that far,,,,anyway I like your Questios B,, so thumbs up to you

Answer 7

I think it is a wonderful idea.  I saw this for the first time this year.  The bride and groom donated their money to Breast Cancer Association.  The bride's mother (my dear friend) passed away from breast cancer two years before her daughter's wedding.

They had a framed letter stating their wishes and a huge bowl of little pink ribbons for the guests to wear.  It was a wonderful tribute to her.

Personally I think that allocated money would go to so much better use than a trinket to take home.    

Answer 8

Making donations to charity is a private matter. Donations are a way of expressing support to a certain cause or charity. A guest may not support the particular charity that the bride or groom does. By making a donation in name of the guests, the bride and groom are "forcing them" to support this charity.

It's almost like forcing someone to vote a certain way.

Personally, I already donate to the charities I choose to support. If I wanted someone else to make donations in my name, I'd provide a list of charities I support. (I've seen this done at memorial services.)

Answer 9

You can thumbs down for anything on here. I dont think most people are opposed to donation in lieu of favors, in fact I think most people would prefer it! Someone may have thumbed down because:

1. they expect a favor to be an actual keepsake

2. they prefer no favor at all

3. they dont like the person who answered

4. they just feel like doing thumbs down to anyone

So a thumbs down does not necessarily mean they think its a bad idea. I wouldnt take that too seriously, as I said before I think a lot of people are actually in favor of donations or no favors at all.  

Answer 10

People give thumbs down anytime they disagree with an answerer's advice. When someone suggest a money donation, I think they lack tact and respect unless the money is going to be donated to a charity.  

Answer 11

I don't know know why they give you a thumbs down. When you put it that way there are some people that would probably think this was a great idea.  Personally, I would still feel obligated to give the guests a little something.  Basically it comes down to traditions.  Some people want to follow tradition while other people feel it more important to be politically correct.  But, the main thing is why would you only sacrifice the traditional gifts and not something else such as the traditional gown?  Why not wear jeans and tell everyone that you donated the money that you have spent on your dress to charity in their name?  It seems if you want to sacrafice something go all the way.

Answer 12

Favours are voluntary anyway: you don't have to give them. You give them either because you actually want to provide your guests with that keepsake, or because you are using them as a means to display your "wedding style". If you do NOT want to give your guests a keepsake you can simply not give one. When, instead of simply letting it go, you announce a charitable donation, you may be seen to be saying "I thought about giving you a gift, but decided to give it to someone else instead". I hope you can see that many people might be insulted by such an announcement.

Another option you have is to simply give the donation without making a display of it. Others of your guests may hear your announcement of the donation as being a way of boasting how charitable and politically conscious you are. Others may not support the charity you have chosen and may feel that a donation to it, in "their" honour, is an affront.

Still others associate the idea of charitable gifts in someone's honour with *memorial* gifts -- in other words, with funerals. Some guests might prefer you wait until *after* their deaths to indulge in such memorials.

So that's four different ways that a charity "favour" might offend your guests -- and lead other Yahoo answerers to give the suggestion a thumbs-down. Does that help?

Answer 13

It would be one thing if you told your guests to donate their wedding gift to you to charity instead, but it is another thing to take away a gift that should be going to your guests and give it to charity instead.  Don't do it.

Answer 14

Donating to charity is a private matter and should be kept as such. Your guests do not need to know that you gave any money. Also, some guests will be offended because they may not agree with the charity you chose or if the donation is given in their name they may be afraid (with perfectly legitimate reason) that the charity will come after them personally for more money. When you start announcing that you donated money, you come across as pompous like "look what I did, I don't need to spend money on my guests but I spent it on someone else instead. aren't you so proud of me?" even if that is not your intention.