Why do people have the need to ask BS adoption questions!!!?

Question

As an adoptive mother I find it VERY offensive that there are people who ask us to lay out our hearts to help with their "situation" when it's just B*** S***.

My journey through adoption was a rollercoaster of emotion from thinking my son wasn't going to live beyond his first day to the absolute JOY (20 months later) why it was all done and final.

Does this bother anyone else?

Why do these people do this?

Are some of them faking an "adoption plan" to con someone?

What do you think?

Answer 1

That is the down side of having such an open forum that is unmoderated.  Just keep giving these people thumbs down ratings and report abuse.  Hopefully, they will find easier targets elsewhere.

Answer 2

I couldn't agree with you more.  We need to start reporting some of these people, especially the ones who seem to want to scam adoptive parents or just want to rile us.  

Our journey was a roller coaster ride too - and it seemed that around every turn there was another obstacle to overcome.  But it was all worth it in the end.  I know how you feel!

Answer 3

YOUR journey through adoption?!! you haven't been through adoption.  Yes you have adopted, but that is completly different then actually being adopted.

I dont believe you should have any say in anything having to do with adoption.  you weren't even adopted.  You know everything you could ever want to know about your parents, you were not the one given up, you were not the one having to go through tons of people trying to find information on your biological parents, and you were not the one who has to deal with anything at all.

so i think that YOU should stop asking ignorant adoption questions.

Answer 4

honestly i find it helpful. i am currently pregnant and deciding whether or not to give the baby up for adoption. with an up and down battle of indecision. i have opened myself to consider giving my baby up for adoption. i did not consider abortion at all! and i thought about keeping the baby but i know- i can not provide the life a child needs. i cant even provide for myself. i have searched here cause stories and answers have been educational and very much a new learning experience that i can not get through adoption agency sites. i understand how you can precieve these questions to be "fake" but sometimes we dont know who to reach out to when we have nobody at all. the father of my child has disappeared and wants nothing to do with me nor the child. my mother has not talked to me in months. my brother is the only one i have and he is in the same boat - we have not even been able to take care of ourselves. how can i bring a child into my mess that i have yet to been able to clean up even though for the past year i have been working my tail off to do so. i dont do drugs, i dont smoke, i dont even drink.. iam just a 23 year old kid struggling to find my life... i am in no place to raise a child. over the past few months i have found myself detached from myself and mainly the child. i dont feel like a mother. i feel like a surrogate that is having a child for nobody. im scared if i keep the baby it will be the same detachment. i have found similar stories on answers.yahoo.com that make me feel content about the decisions i am going through... i have had many many many complications with my pregnancy (i am high risk for cervical cancer, pelvic inflammatory, ii have a lower lined placenta thats not moving into place, i have an attached blood clot, ovarian cysts pre and post pregancy that have ruptured and been removed (why i was told i was unable to have children to begin with) and high blood pressure). the blood clot has been causing me to bleed for almost three months now. i have zero support from anyone cause i dont have friends or a close family. i know the pain it can be having a chance you may loose your child - its something i deal with on an every second basis. i am a healthy girl but my dr has said for over 6 years that i will never be able to have children so this is the toll my body is having. i do not plan to look for potential adoptive parents until everything has been cleared and i know the baby is safe and i am safe and the whole process with be secure, safe, and healthy.

so please -  dont think that we are trying to plan a scam. we are just looking for people with similar stories. hoping that you can help us. not make our decision but give us insight on what it is like to be an adoptive parent. i dont want to give my baby away  but i want a family to receive a gift they can not create. i just want to know what is comfortable - open adoption - closed adoption - what the process is like - emotional support. agencies take a long time to get back and with yahoo you seem to get a variety of answers and stories that are very helpful.

again - please dont be offended. i dont know who else to ask. counselors are sometimes not the best advice givers considering - they have not gone through the process of being a birthmother looking for an adoptive family or a family looking to adopt.

sorry for anything that may offend you but i know you know - if it wasnt for strong girls like us looking to give the gift to adoptive parents like yourself - you would not have the child you have today. so please. dont be so closed and please do open your heart. we need help and insight. if you dont like it and dont want to be asked then i would recommend you stop looking for the questions you dont wish to see.

i find it offensive that an adoptive mother would be so closed  to helping and use language that you do. i will take note in this when looking for the potential parents to be.

take care and good luck.

a.a.poe

Answer 5

I am also an adoptive mom and get very frusrated reading many of the ingnorant questions and answers about adoption YA.

Answer 6

I think the real problem is that so many people assume that their specific situation applies to all adoptions, everywhere.  I have seen people here state that you will always have access to your child's health history (not true if your child was abandoned), state that you will always need a lawyer and have to appear before a judge (only in certain types of adoptions), and so on.  This leads to too many bogus answers, and confusing questions.

And of course, too many people here don't state where they live, or where the adoption took place.  This is a problem in other areas of Yahoo answers as well.

Answer 7

Unfortunately some do.... Yes adoption is not an easy thing... Like I tell everyone about our adoption... it was 9 months of h**l in a court room to get my babies..... I feel like I gave birth to them.

Answer 8

I just think they are sick people. Using us for get rich or just to feel important.  Kind of like those people who want to know why we adopted, what was wrong we couldn't have our own and what was wrong with the birth mother for given up the kids