Why do people insist on talking about ther children?

Question

My fiancee and I are not planning on ever having kids. Nothing against kids, just a personal decision. Our friends who do have kids however, cannot have a conversation without bringing up their kids. How intelligent they are, how cute they are, how fast they're learning stuff, blah, blah blah. And if that were not enough, they give us pictures, sometimes blow-up pix of their kids!! or wallet sized ones. WTH?? Don't people get it? Just because you adore your kids and you feel that they are the holiest of creatures in this planet, doesn't mean we agree. Does this happen to you too, and how do you feel about it?

Answer 1

I agree.  I have a 16 month old daughter but she's not the only topic of my conversations.  Conversations are about an exchange of information on a mutual topic.  Someone talking about their child for 30 mins. straight is not participating in a conversation, rather that person is giving a soliloquy.

It is perfectly fine to share with a friend your child's newest accomplishment or your latest disasterous outing however, it is not polite to go and on and on about it if the other person is not contributing to your relentless chatter and is not showing any interest.  *Change the subject already!*

:-)))

Answer 2

i do understand how you feel, even though im going on #3. it happens sometimes in the same sense to me, just a little different situtaion.

some peopl don't know when to have adult time and when it is time to discuss the kids.

when my hubby and i have a night out (when the kiddies are gone with gma, or home alone, they are 12 now) we do not discuss the kids period. who wants to go to the bar , with a captain morgan in your hand, and discuss kids?? i love my kids dearly and have no problems with them. and the reason for this is i know the value of adult time. my hubby and i try not to discuss the kids when we are out alone together, we try to find other subjects, and 90% of the time we do.

we are lucky that alot of friends feel this way-there are times to talk about kids ex: soccer games, wrestling matches, the park, mcdonalds outing, birthday party, home cookouts etc.

talking about kids with people who have none is stupid anyway-#1 what could they possibly know that they could tell you?? #2 what if they want them, and you are rubbing it in because they can't?? or in your situation, you don't want them and you don't care to hear about them??

some people just don't think i guess. even i am guilty of that!!

Answer 3

Maybe you need to be a little more careful when choosing friends or they need to be warned before choosing you as friends.

Some of my friend don't have children, either by choice or medical condition. But they are MY FRIENDS and we celebrate each others' lives. They respect that I am a mom first. I respect that they are more into their pets and their jobs. I have a friend who will talk my ear off about her F'ing cat - but I would never hold that against her.

You sound like a narcissist and the world must revolve around you, huh? You'll never have to listen to me talk about my children - I have much better taste in friends and sorry, you just don't measure up to my standards.

Answer 4

Wow!  You can really tell that you don't have kids and don't belong with having kids.  For most people, their kids are their lives.  You think that's sad?  Those kids are lucky to have parents who love them so much.  You don't like it, find friends who also don't want to have kids then.

Answer 5

Because their children are a large part of their day to day life.  I'm sure you, too, talk about whatever is interesting & important in your life and that not everyone finds it enthralling to hear.  

Your friends, though, understand and, at least, pretend to be interested - because they are your friends & like you & like to know that you're happy in your life.  Are you a good friend in return?  

Answer 6

I'm glad my best friend (who has no children) doesn't feel this way.  She talks about my kids more than I do *lol* Seriously though, what makes you so interesting to your mom friends?

Answer 7

cuz kids are their pride and joy

Answer 8

I am surprised you have any friends to bore you.  If you had children, you would understand why people find them the most important part of their lives.  If it is such a problem for you, hang out with other singles.  

Answer 9

it happens to me all the time. i don't mind hearing them because i really want to hear the stories.  i want to know about my neices/nephews/cousins/friends children are really doing.  fine isn't good enough for me, i want example.

its the people at work that get to me. i don't know their children and after a while it gets boring.  there is this one woman at work whos everyother word is her daughters name.  she spends company time doing research for activities for her daughter.  i hate it when its time for her to plan her daughters birthday.  she starts 7 months before the date.  she shops online.  guess who has to do her work while she plans a birthday party like its a wedding, me!

Answer 10

People tend to talk about what's on their minds and what's important to them.  For many parents, that's their kids.  

But yes, as a parent who could talk about my kids forever, I do make an effort when around friends without kids -- and especially friends who I know would like kids but have been unable to have them -- to find other things to talk about, instead.  Simillarly, I'd hope that someone who had a passion for something I didn't have much interest in (say, football) would keep the football discussions rather limited around me.  But I wouldn't want them never to mention it at all.  What's the point of being friends with someone if you don't care to know what they care about?

Answer 11

You can't fathom how much one's life changes when they have a child. Suddenly, everything they do is about their child, as their child requires their care 24 hours per day. I would actually suggest that if it bothers you that much, to find new friends, ones that do not plan on procreating. Just realize that you will never understand it from a parent's perspective and parents will never understand why you choose to not have children. Agree to disagree.

Answer 12

Are you kidding? Probably a good thing you do not plan on having kids. I talk about my daughter all the time because I am prud of how she is growing up and like to share the funny stories with family and friends. Parents should be proud of their kids which gives them the right to brag.  

Answer 13

Well, I'm not going to call you names, just because you don't want to talk about---or hear about---kids, all the time... I can understand that, even though I have kids of my own, and I love them more than anything... Sometimes, when other people talk about their kids, I get a little bored; probably because they're not *my* kids. :) I still listen, politely, however, and ask questions, because they're taking time to tell me about what's important to them.

I think you could talk to them; find a balance between 'Kids this, and kids that,' versus 'No kid talk, at all.' You all are friends, so I'm sure a happy medium can be reached... You can't expect them to never talk about their children, but, on the other hand, they can be polite to you, as well, by not always shoving it in your face... Good luck!

Answer 14

YOU ARENT EVEN WORTH THE TWO POINTS I GET FOR ANSWERING YOUR DUMP QUESTION!

Answer 15

Because it's normal for parents/people to talk about something important in their lives.

Answer 16

Haha. I am a kid. You should have them too. then you can talk about yours. ! =D

Answer 17

You don't understand because you don't have or want children.  That's a valid decision, but people are PROUD of their kids and LOVE them very much, that's why the like to talk about them.  Sheesh.

Answer 18

They talk about it because they probably don't have much else going on. Parents who have a career or a life aren't as obnoxious as those whose life is defined by their children.

I understand that parents love their children, or that being pregnant is exciting, but nobody wants to hear about mucus, diapers, or snotty noses. What happened to talking about music, literature, art?

Try to find more friends who are child-free. That was the only thing that worked for me, and I am not sorry that I had to leave a few "friends" behind.

Answer 19

Because we are PROUD of our children!! :)

You sound very resentful and bitter to those who want the joy of having children with the way you describe children.  You and your fiance are free to remain childless, but those of us with children love to talk about the because we love them and we are very proud parents.

I hope your "friends" start looking for a new couple to hang out with.....you're very rude.

Answer 20

It is kind of like talking about your fiancée, or your favorite sport, hobbies, movie that you just saw, job, etc. Anything that is that important to you, you will tend to talk about, and children are a MAJOR part of their parents lives, so lay off a bit. Unless you are prepared to not talk at all about what is important to you, since that would be the only fair thing to do. If you have nothing in common with people that have children, you don't have to hang around them.

Answer 21

If you had a child you would understand.  Most parents do understand that they are much more excited over their children's accomplishments and milestones than everyone else.  Still, our children are everything to us.  They are the most precious things on earth to us.  Also, for me personally, my children are my job.  I stay at home and am involved in every part of their lives.  At the end of my day, that's what I have to talk about.  I do however think it's annoying when parents brag about how great their kids are. Especially when their trying to make you feel like their children are superior to yours.  And I'm not a picture pusher....only to family anyway.

Answer 22

NO...that doesn't HAPPEN to me...THAT IS ME....My KIDDOS are all teens now and it seems even our local Newspaper(S)AGREE with me...THEY ARE FABULOUS...at LEAST once a week during Their Sports Seasons...(Football,Wrestling,Track and National Cheer Competitions, Academic Honor Society etc...) they are written up FOR doing something SPECTACULAR!!! I AM a Good Parent and I am PROUD of the TERRIFIC Kids I have Raised.My Children are Loyal,Good and Kind)... People LOVE their KIDS...if you don't want to hear it...Get New Friends that don't have kids!

I LOVE hearing about Other peoples Childrens' accomplishments...it gives me HOPE that all Mankind won't turn out Selfish and Self-Centered... Uh HUM...

Answer 23

I never planned on having kids - i don't like them.  BUT i got prego and now my son is 6 months old and he's the love of my life.  He comes to work with me every day and makes everyone smile.  Proud parents NEVER stop talking about their children so i suggest that if you don't want to hear it from your friends, don't hang out with them.  

Answer 24

This has never happened to me. Proud parents are just that, PROUD. They are proud of the things their children learn to do. It is just something parents do. I love talking about my kids. There isn't a day that goes by that one of my 2 kids doesnt do something that I find funny and brag about. So what! I am sure there are plenty of things you go on and on about that perhaps your friends or family do not like hearing about. So try being polite and just listen. If it truely bothers you that much, politley tell them and then change the subject.  

Answer 25

Yes it happens to me, sometimes it can be annoying, but then I think about how much I love my own daughter and how proud i am of her whenever she meets a milestone, that I can completely understand. I agree that some parents go overboard and share a little too much a little too often, but most of my friends are pretty good about giving quick updates and being done with it. As for pictures, I get a lot of pics of my friend's children. The friend's i'm very close with, i usually put the pics on the fridge for a few months. The others, i put away in a photo album.  

Answer 26

It is just natural for parents to talk about their children.  This is something that you will have to get used to.  As you get older and more and more of your friends have children they naturally want to talk about them and tell people about things they have done.

It does sound as if you have something against kids.  You have a problem with them giving you pictures, and them talking about them.  You sound bitter.  Why  not just listen and shake your head and take the pics and say thank you.

One day you might change your mind about kids and than others will have to listen to you talk about them and take your pics.

Answer 27

Hahah

I love children and hope to soon have one, but... There is one girl at my work, whi has sorry but really ugly child and everyday, EVERYDAY she shows ppl at work her pics and tells stories, "how she ate that soup today".

Boring... I hope I will not turn into that crazy Moms :D

Answer 28

Wow...I thought you said these people are your friends.  You sound like a shallow jerk.  You should be happy for your friends.  They obviously love their kids very much and want to share.  Shame on you.

Answer 29

People talk about their kids because it's a fairly bland  conversational topic and easy to make non-controversial small-talk about.

If it doesn't interest you, listen politely for a few minutes, then change the subject.  

Answer 30

I talk about my kids because I love them and I am proud of their accomplishments.  If you don't want to share in your friends joy / and their families accomplishments then just simply tell them that you would rather them give pictures to other family members as you don't feel it's appropriate.  As far as them not talking about their children.  If you ask them not to don't be surprised if they don't come around at all!