Why do people keep adopting kids? Haven't they figured out yet that it's wrong, it's child stealing, and they

Question

only do it for themselves. People make all kinds of excuses, but basically adoption is the most selfish thing you can do, the adoptive parents are worse than the birthparents, they are the ones who want to buy babies.

Don't you agree that it's time to ban adoption?

Answer 1

Wow! I guess you are assuming that everyone who is adopted has at least one loving family member willing and able to care for them.  Would it shock you to learn that that is not always true?

Answer 2

You are an absolute idiot, for sure.  Sounds to me like your mom should have had an abortion when she had the chance. I wonder, is it too late??

Answer 3

shallow thinking !!! making babies is not a crime ... and adoption is not a crime either! There are 1000s of reasons why babies are up for adoption and another 10000 reasons why some one adopts each reason is noble if understood!!

one thing though - god chooses only special people to adopt and be adopted b cos everyone can't do it...it takes a lot of heart to be a family without thinking "birthparents" ..."own blood" and all that ... thats to both the parents and the child who learn to believe they belong to each other and i respect that!!

Answer 4

what the he!l planet are you from?  where do you get the idea its stealing?  obviously you are bored and just being an a*****e!

as long as irresponsible fools keep getting pregnant, as long as uneducated teens keep getting pregnant, as long as the poor in poor countries keep getting pregnant, as long as druggies and working girls keep getting pregnant, as long as for whatever reason people keep getting pregnant, there are millions of infants who need to be cared for, loved, and cherished. without adoption these children would be left to languish in orphanages, foster homes, and in some cases left in the street to die.  adoption is a blessed event for so many couples and so many children.  the end result is a family - what on earth could be wrong with that.    

the average person adopting a child goes through all kinds of investigations, security checks, and the like before they are given a child to love!  they don't buy them, they often beg social workers and adoption agencies for a child, but they don't buy them.  

i do sometimes think that perhaps the rich and famous, who go outside their own country and adopt in foreign lands are in effect paying for their children by making heavy donations to governments, churches, orphanages, schools whatever, when they adopt but that is not the norm and for you to go off the deep end like this is absolutely stupid.  

whatever axe you have to grind moron, go do it elsewhere!  leave the decent, loving, caring people here alone.

driving father - good on ya!  keep up the good work!

Answer 5

Nope, I don't. I think you're an idiot.

Adoption is not selfish. It's also not selfless.

People who adopt are longing for a child or children, and the children who are being adopted, are longing for homes.

There is no such thing as baby stealing. No one buys babies.

Whining because you got your kids taken away by DCFS because you spend too much time trolling yahoo answers and trying to stir up trouble, instead of feeding them?

Answer 6

How dare you make such an ill mannered comment!

I think adoption is a great thing!! It gives families the option to take care and love a child that is not their own. Some women love kids and can't have any so that gives them an option! It gives kids a chance to be loved when their birth mothers can't take care of them!! It's a h**l of a lot better than abortion. Adoption gives children a chance!!

You need to re-evaluate your logic buddy!! You obviously don't used the good sense you were given!!:)(:

Answer 7

I think it's pretty hilarious that people here make these assumptions that all these adoptees' natural parents simply "didn't want them".  That's ludicrous.

But then, these people are adopters, so what do you expect...they all heart adoption!

I think adoption is wrong, too, Paula, the way people coerce young women into giving away their babies is horrendous.

Being young and single is seen as just cause for giving your baby away.

You will never see an advertisement or billboard urging a woman to actually KEEP her child.

All these predatory PAP's on MySpace, begging for children, is sick.  The same with these "Dear Birthmother" letters, and pre-birth matches, and any AP who fights it if a natural mother changes her mind.

Why people think that being infertile makes them entitled to another person's child is beyond me!

Most infertile people spent YEARS and YEARS and THOUSANDS and THOUSANDS of dollars on fertility treatments, because you know what?  BIOLOGY DOES MATTER.

Adoption ONLY becomes an option when all else fails...adoption is the consolation prize.

So yes, adopters adopt for selfish reasons, they want a kid, pure and simple.

If more women actually had SUPPORT, they could KEEP THEIR CHILDREN.

Adopters claim to be adopting because they care about these little children and improving their lives.  Really?  So, how about using that 30,000 dollars to improve conditions in that entire Chinese orphanage?  Hmmm?  Imagine what it could do for ALL those children?  But they'd never EVER do that, because what's in it for them, right?

No, they don't really care about helping anyone, they only care about helping themselves to another person's child.

But they'd never admit it.

Answer 8

um hi, wtf is it opposite day? are you just trying to p**s people off? seriously, i think this is the most ridiculous thing i have ever seen posted on here. you dont make any f**king sense.

Answer 9

if i could smack you up side the head believe me i would, that is by far the WORST thing anyone has ever said on this... maybe if you knew a little more about what you just said you wouldnt be saying what you are. the reason adoption exists is so people dont have to KILL a living human and can give that baby a better life with a family that may have been waiting for 3 years

....

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Answer 10

Clearly you’re an ignorant person. Adoption is one of the most wonderfully things.  Fact of the matter is that not all biological parents can or want to care for their birthchildren. There are children that have lost their family via some accident. There are babies that have been left in a dumpster.  This poster would rather children grow up in the orphanage or spend their entire life in the Foster Care system with no one to ever call Family.  The poster is clearly uneducated not only babies need to be adopted, there are children of all ages even teenagers waiting to be adopted.  Not to mentioned couples who would never have children unless they adopt.

How dare you compare adoption to child stealing, adoption is legal when done right. Adoption has occurred since the beginning of time, and not just among humans.

Answer 11

Are you joking?  This is a digusting veiw on adoption!  How can you liken it to child stealing.  The birth parents couldn't or wouldn't take care of their children.  Someone else could.  Would you prefer these children live in an shelter their whole childhood?  I've been in a children's shelter.  It's not safe.

Adoptive parents do NOT buy a baby.  If someone adopts a baby or child and takes care of them then I think it's a great thing.  Your question is highly offensive.

Answer 12

Adoption is great.  Most adoptive parents are great parents.  Maybe you need to examine the reasons why you're so against it.

Answer 13

No!! it's NOT selfish!!!! There tryiiing to help these kids ouut!!!!

wat if ur mother and father didn't want u??? and all u ever wanted and needed was a REAL person who loved u?? then wat would u think about adopting then?!!?

there are thousands of kids that are t as lucky as we are with lugerys and stuff. Theres little children STAARVING in Africa...

Little girls in China who sometimes get killed bc no one well adopted them!!!!

DON'T U THINK THESE INASTENT LITTLE CHILDREN NEED HELP!?!?!!?!? I THINK WAT THERE DOING IS PERFECTLY GREAT!!!

Answer 14

Get an education. Seek some counseling.

Answer 15

People adopt children because they want a child to love and raise, and feel they could provide a child with a good life.(just like ANY parent) If this is selfish then all parents, including those with biological children would be selfish too.

People are upset when others make all birth mothers out to be "drug addicts who abuse or abondon their babies" (which ofcourse is not usually the case at all), but many of the same people make untrue generaliztions about adoptive parents, claiming that we are all selfish "baby-stealer" who are in view our child as a conselation prize, and care nothing about the woman who gave birth too them. This couldn't be further from the truth concerning most adoptive parents.

Yes adoption practices are sometimes flawed, but it still can work to help people too.there are many times that a woman facing an unplanned pregnancy decides that she is not ready or able to care for her child, (even though she does love the child) and allows another family to adopt the child in order to give them the life she cannot provide. This is HER choice to make.

It is just as wrong to coerce or force a women to parent a child she is unable to care for or expect her to have an abortion, as it is to force her to place the baby for adoption. This is exactly what banning adoption would do, and it certainly wouldn't be in the best interest of the children.

Answer 16

You know, now that I've read your rant AHEM, question, I see the light.  I think you're so right.

I will do the right thing now, and send back my youngest son-who, incidentally was adopted at age 15 months due to being locked in a cupboard, beaten, burned, and sexually assaulted by both "parents"-to the people with whom he really belongs.  Those ever loving, always responsible, most suitable people his biological "parents".

What a heritage!  What a rich family history!  Let him enjoy it without the interruption of people wanting to see him live to the age 2!

You are a ******* moron.

Answer 17

My personal view -

If an expectant mother is in any way coerced / talked into adoption - and given NO support to do what a pregnant woman is 'made' to do - parent said child - then I DO NOT agree with adoption.

(in this case it is usually about infant adoptions)

For those children that are languishing in foster care because their parents were unable to parent - for legitimate reasons (I also know of mothers that were coerced and lied to - just so someone else could acquire their baby) then I believe that they do really need a loving family to take care of them.

In both cases - I do not believe in changing names (unless the said child wishes for the name change). I believe that in most cases children should be kept in the same family if possible, next best - is within the same country/culture. I believe in the adoptee having complete information about their heritage - about their story - about where they came from. This should be about the child - if you do not honor where the child has come from - and all the 'baggage' that accompanies said child - then  I believe that you truly are not adopting in the best interests of the child.

(by 'baggage' - I mean all the good and all the bad - and everything in between. The child has 'history' from before birth - the child is entitled to it all)

I also believe that unless the child is in physical danger - then contact with the mother and father (and extended family) should be maintained at all costs. This will only help the child with their sense of self worth and identity.

(something that I have struggled with throughout my life - even though I grew in a very loving environment)

Because - really - adoption SHOULD be about the BEST INTERESTS OF THE CHILD.

(and back to the OP - adoption agencies make too much money out of infant adoption. Sadly - it ain't going to stop - any time soon..............)

Answer 18

I think you have a terrible oppinion on this matter, and it's obvious others agree. Although you are entitled to your own oppinion. Take my case for instance. A childhood friend of my husband has two children. His wife is dieing, and not only does he NOT know how to care for children, he doesn't know how to care for himself. They have both agreed, that apon her death, my husband and I are to adopt their children because all of their family is scum. Would it not be better for innocent children who have not chosen to loose their birth parents whatever the circumstances may be to have the chance to be raised in a loving enviroment, to be taken care of...to be raised to be good citizens and not thrown into foster care and not loved and turned into criminals because it is the only way they know how to servive? I wish more people where able and open to adoption. There would be less children running around in the streets commiting crimes because their parents are too irresponsible to get of their *** and take care of their children. It's true that children are our future, so why aren't we trying harder to make sure those children aren't being abused and waisted away?

Answer 19

Are u crazy??? selfish??? buying?? what the buck?? have u been smoking? how can u say this??? making babies is selfish not adopting them, the only purpose on making babies is "complete the couple" , if two person agree to give family to a child which has noone , how can u think this is insane??i wish people like u realize as soon as possible that being parents doesn't mean having the same dna and other bullshit....is the love u give to a child, how u grow him up, that's being parents....and just borning a baby doesn't make u a good parent!!!! nobody wants to buy them, oh for christ's sake , do u have any idea how many children in this world have no family gor million reason and u think u should let them alone when, fortunately, are a lot of couple open-minded ready to accept a kid even if he's not ur blood and flesh!!!

think bfor u post such horrible thing!!!

Answer 20

Wow what a selfish person you are to even say something like that on here.. You knew you were going to get bashed and looked down on.. Come on if you walked in the shoes of someone that can't have any children because of medical or whatever the case is you would be looking into adoption too.. You have no idea so don't judge good people that can't have any babies and decide to adopt because their hearts ache to hold a little one in their arms.. Man you have no right to even say something like that grow up.. Adoption is legal... Abortion is the wrong thing why don't you say something about that instead.... No its not time to ban adoption.. I hope for the sake of you that are not blessed with any child so you know the pain that one has to deal with not being able to have a child and to have a family... The best of luck to you and if you don't have nothing nice to say don't ever say anything else ever again about adoption.... I guess you would rather see the children suffer to people that decide to put them in a garbage bag and dump then in a dumpster than have them adopted by a loving and caring family..... This is my opinion though....Think about it....

Answer 21

If you don't understand anything from adoption- like you said you buy kids. Shut your mouth, you're obviously the selfish person

Answer 22

Your mother must have had u when she was 12 yrs old, probably barely provided enough 4 u.  then when u questioned why u hav such a S****y life she filled your head with c**p - like u just wrote on this page.  and u believed it to make yourself feel like u got the better deal! HA! DUMBASS!

Answer 23

are you serious? many children who are adopted are not babies and even babies who are adopted would just stay in the system if they were  not adopted. these children are not wanted by their birthparents. Adoption is a very kind and loving thing to do.

Answer 24

People adopt children because their biological family is unable to take proper care of them or because they end up in the system and are bounced around from home to home. I would love to adopt, because I am no longer able to have children of my own. It does not make me a selfish person it just shows that I have a lot of love to give someone else. I think you need to quit being so bitter about the entire thing and maybe research how kids who are now adults feel to know they were adopted, I am sure not all had a good life but a good percentage of them did.

Answer 25

Adoption should not be banned if the other parent agrees to it. If the decision of course is forced upon them like all the unwed mother who were in their teens in the 50's, yes, it's child stealing, and it's tragically wrong.

But a child who has lost his parents, has drug addicts for parents, or who's mother doesn't want him...well, isn't it best that those children actually have a family, rather than grow up in orphanages?

Answer 26

YOU ARE A MORON, MAYBE YOUR JUST PISSED THAT YOUR PARENTS DIDNT WANT YOU....

Answer 27

i was adopted and so was my husband.

ADOPTION IS BETTER THAN ABORTION

Answer 28

No way, I'm adopted and had the most loving and unselfish parents anyone could ever hope for.I thank God every day that my birth mother was unselfish and let me have a better life then she could give me. So it a win win deal.

Answer 29

Hi Paula, what do suggest should be done with children who are left orphaned?

Some people are willing to adopt children which includes feeding, clothing, bathing, financially and emotionally supporting including paying for university fees. If you could point out what exactly is wrong with this i may feel inclined to listen to what you have to say.

May i also point out that children are NOT bought, unless you are referring to child trafficking?

People who agree with Paula and are giving thumbs down to the majority of the answers, what is your reason behind this?

Answer 30

you have obviously never personally known anyone who has adopted or a birth parent who voluntarily put their child up for adoption. In our case the children were removed and placed with my family because of neglect and abuse. Some people either don't know how to a parent or don't want too. You should probably do your homework before making dunb statements.

Answer 31

Sure. My husband's cousin broke her son's leg when he was 3 weeks old. She's being charged with three counts of felony child abuse. Let's arrange for visitation while she's in jail and hand him back to her as she's walking out of the prison when she's released. Maybe she'll kill him this time.

These are the situations that most adopted kids are taken from. We had foster kids who went back to birth-mom. She had burnt the 4 year old's toes so bad that they'll be purple for the rest of her life. She was asking us if they could stay with us forever with her beautiful puppy-dog eyes. I think the judge who returned them was related to you....