Why do people not like the idea of...?

Question

I am going to become a surrogate mother next year and hopefully have a baby for a couple that really want one. I will be a gestational surrogate so that none of my DNA is linked. It will not be my baby. I will basically be a baby incubator for another couple that want a baby that is genetically theirs. I live in Canada so legally I can't make any money either. I want to do this because I would like to help out another couple that would like their own baby. On here, there are a lot of supportive people, but why in real life, my friends and family think I'm nuts? I tell them all the info I wrote on here, but they look at me like I have 10 heads or something. Am I missing anything??? Why wouldn't someone want to help out another person if they can? I know it's not for everyone, but why do they judge me for it???

Answer 1

Bottom line, we only live once and children are very important.  You are making a miracle for someone and that is absolutely wonderful.  I have two children and I have no idea what I would do without them.  What do people do in their 30's and beyond without children?

Answer 2

It's great that you want to help out other people--- if you go through with it, some lucky couple will bless your stars.

The reason your relatives think it's weird and look at you like "you have 10 heads" is because:

1. It's not like this is something they run into everyday, so technically, it IS a little unique.

2. They care about you and want what's best for you. They're probably worried about the physical and emotional aspects of carrying a baby and then having to let go. 'Cause trust me, even though the baby wouldn't "be yours" you'd still have been it's mommy for 9 months.

Also, try and look at it from their perspective to understand kind of where they're coming from. They're probably thinking, "Why is our daughter/friend putting herself through all this? Sure it's great that's she's so caring, but what about all those kids waiting to be adopted? Why go through all this when there's so many kids available?" Even if you disagree with them, at least you can reassure them that you've thought through all that.

3. Going through a pregnancy changes people. The way you see things might change by the time you've finished. It's one of those "iffy" things that you can't predict very easily.

To sum up, kudos to you for your kindness and good heart. Not many people would be willing to do this. Your folks shouldn't judge you, it is your body and your decision, but it will affect you and the people around you. Just try not to judge them back. :) Good luck to you!

Answer 3

It's amazing and incredibly self-less that you want to do that for a couple, however I can understand why your friends and family think you are "nuts."  

Not all pregnancies are easy (I spend 7 out of 9 months of my pregnancy incredibly sick).  You are not able to profit from the arrangement, so what happens if you are put on bedrest and are unable to work and provide for yourself?  Also, even though you are not genetically tied to the baby, it could be unbearly difficult to give up a child that you have nurtured and carried for nine months.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

Answer 4

I think it's great that you're doing this! If you feel that you are capable of doing it then it's awesome for the couple you'll be helping!

I have a question though... When you're like 6 months along and showing, people are gonna come up to you on the street and say "Congratulations! Are you having a son or a daughter? How are you gonna name him/her?" Will you just tell them "Oh, it's not my baby" or will you lie and say "I don't know yet" to make things more simple? I, for one, don't know what I'd do...

Answer 5

Because it is something that I am sure is relatively new to them. That will ALWAYS be the case in any situation where something new is presented. Me? Part of me wants to go "Ew!", but then the other, more emotional part is like "WOW!, you are so amazing, and brave to do this". It is a wonderful thing to give life, amd to give life for someone who cannot produce life of their own? Wow....Just keep doing what you are doing, and dont worry what other ppl say.