Why do people say that its better to have love than lost, and on the flip side say that if someone leaves you?

Question

Than it wasn't love in the first place.

And I have to ask, why are there so many contradictions with love?

If one says that its better to have love than lost rather than not to experience love at all, and then on a different note says that the person who left them didn't love them in the first place, than how would we know if they ever experience love at all?

The only situation where I think the quote "its better to have love and lost rather than to not love at all" applies to widows, and no one else, because who's to say that the people who you thought loved you, and in return left you for someone else really loved you?

How would one know that it was real love? If the person you loved ended up not wanting to be with you anymore?

People change and it seems like the concept of love changes as well.

But what do you guys think about the contradictions about the quotes on love?

Answer 1

if someone leaves you they leave you with an experience and lesson in life that you can't learn any other way but to go through it. Imagine if you never learned anything at all about love because you would have never experienced.. that wouldn't make you any good as a future husband, father, etc.. i mean all the mistakes we make and learn from relationships in the beginning is solely for the purpose of recognizing and changing in the end with the life partner you choose .

Answer 2

Love, what is that?

Let

selfish desires, physical instincts, the expectations of fulfillment of own needs, boredom, loneliness, using the other to get advantages

by the side and then look what is left.

Love, pure love is in my view unselfish and thinks only on the other persons well being. There is no jealousy and also no doubt about ones own love. This is how I see this.

If we "love" someone we want the best for this person.

Sometimes we truly love and also another person loves us truly. But then we get confused and we lose this love. So this higher intuitions are not used anymore as we focus on something which substitutes love.

Perhaps this other person loved you but lost the access to it.

If you have loved or still love this is good, as love is life. We are internally dead if we do not love.  Like empty shells, without warmth, without life.

I wish you all the best, this experience must be very confusing for you.

Answer 3

Its better to have LOVED than have lost.  Passed tense

In other words love always ends in a loss, why loose someone without even getting the chance to experience the loving them part.

Get it ?

PS: dont try throwing in your assumptions about other peoles experiences it'll become clearer

Answer 4

Most people just tell themselves whatever they have to in order to feel better.  Love is inherently irrational, so contradictions are to be expected.

Answer 5

I read somewhere, I cant remember where...."If you can explain love, your not in it"

Answer 6

"Its better to love and loss than to have never loved at all." Thats the saying....not its better to love than loss.

Answer 7

Y don't u  ask Buddha. How does a Man such as he be so wise when he burns with regret what he have done disgard rules like a Slytherin yet held his tongue like a Gryffindor.

Even the Wise had dangerous plots or scams before they become Great Teachers or Preachers.

Answer 8

Tennyson wrote the poems, In Memoriam, when his good friend died.  He was overcome with grief.  He wrote (basically) "is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all".  When you think about how and why he wrote those poems and that immortal quote, I can only assume that he was correct, writing after he lost someone he loved.

I don't think he was referring to boy friends and girlfriends breaking up, divorce and so on...  

The quote is talking about your friend, wife (someone close to you) expiring...  Never to be seen in this world again.