Why do people so frequently tell mothers contemplating adoption?

Question

"thank you for not aborting." do they not realize adoption and abortion are separate issues????

Answer 1

If I had no intention of carrying to term, adoption would never enter my mind.  If I planned to carry to term, then my choices would be adoption or parenting.

How often do you hear these people thanking that same woman for choosing to parent, if she decides not to relinquish after all?

Answer 2

Actually, I got myself educated about this maybe a month ago.  Before that, I believed (as I was raised to believe) that when a woman is dealing with an unplanned pregnancy, her options were abortion, adoption, and parenting.  Granted, in my family, abortion was NOT an option (killing a person and all that, which I still believe, but refuse to judge since I haven't been in that position), but it was still a big topic of discussion.  I can't tell you how many times I've heard that argument before coming here to Y!A (and I thank you all for a much better education than all my years of schooling combined couldn't give me).

Answer 3

It is not sepaerate issues when a women is facing a crisis pregnancy adoption is a loving a it give sthe baby a chance to live and smile birth mothers should be appauled and they are doing a unselfish act out of love. when you feel you cant raise a baby and you have abortion threwn in your face then adoption is like a saving grace it saves lives God Bless

Answer 4

A woman with an unplanned pregnancy has three choices... ANY pregnancy has three choices, I do NOT see how you can get around that.. it's a simple fact..

if one choice she feels is not an option for her, then she's left with two choices..

Soemtimes she's left with one choice

A woman who does not feel she can parent will either abort or place for adoption.. there is  no gettign around that

A woman who aborts it is obviously because she considers parenting not an option

So is it when a woman placese a child for adoption..

so there is a connection..

But for some women abortion is not an option (Thank God).. so we shouldn't ASSUME that because someone relinquished that they would have aborted, or almost chose to abort..

but there is a connection.. those are the three options.. take one away, and it's between the other two..

I know I'm going to get crucified for this, but I just can't see how it's not true..

A woman carries to term because she has chosen probably either adoption or parenting allready.. Sometimes that choice is made later, yes.. but often by the time abortion is decided against, the option they ARE going for is allready decided...

but every situation is different..

Laurie.. I would absolutely thank any woman for parenting.. I thank any woman who doesn't abort..

Answer 5

I think people do realize that the issues are completely different.  I think the problem is that most people have an agenda when it comes to  abortion.  The say what they do to open their agenda and prove their point.

Answer 6

No, honestly, looking at the answers youve had so far, I dont think that people are anywhere near understanding the differences.  Abortion results in loss for the mother.  Adoption results in loss for both mother and child.  Are children given up for adoption expected to later thank their birth mothers for not having them aborted?  Will this become the modern adoptees version of "you should be grateful someone wanted to give you a home"?

Answer 7

Many parents will choose to abort their baby rather than giving birth to him/her and then giving him/her up for adoption.  Many people are against abortion so they appreciate people who give their children up for adoption rather than aborting them.  Sometimes they are separate issues;  a lot of times they are not.