Why do people stare instead of try to help?

Question

I was at the grocery store today and a woman's 10 year old was screaming and biting and hitting her. I could tell right away that he was autistic, because I have an autistic child. I put my hand on the woman's shoulder and wispered, it's ok you're not alone in her ear. She broke down and started crying and hugged me and said thanks for being so understanding. EVERYONE in that store was staring at her, whispering, and making verbal rude comments to her. She hadn't had any therapy for the child or anything because, as is the norm in our area, the docs gave her a diagnosis and sent her on her way to figure it all out on her own. I gave her info on joining local autism therapy and support groups and she was so grateful. Don't enough people know about Autism these days to stop the rude behavior when a child is melting down in public? I think the adults are worse behaved than the Autistic kids sometimes.

Answer 1

Good on you for stepping in. Most people stare because they don't know what else to do and don't want to get involved. I hate it when people sneer or judge those in that situation though.

If I see a mom having trouble with a toddler having a tantrum, I say to them "Don't worry honey, it will be my turn next week" and it usually brings a smile to their faces.

Being a Mom isn't always easy. It's embarrassing enough when your kid makes a scene, but even worse when people stare and comment without helping!

Answer 2

unfortunately people do not know about autism, the older people think your child is out of control the young kids think its funny and the middle age think they know what they would do to their kid if they acted like that.so it takes wonderful people like you to understand these special kids.

Answer 3

People are people. People never change.

Answer 4

You read it on here all the time "Why can't people control their children in public!".     They don't care if kids have a disability.  If they can't see something obvious (like down's) then somehow it must be the parents fault.  The parent must have spoiled the child, the parent must be stupid, the parent must the over indulgent, etc.

I have a son with Asperger's and I've been there, done that.   *sigh*    People don't get it and don't want to.

Answer 5

people know the word autism, but they don't understand. most people don't know what to do or say, other people think it's probably just a spoiled child and a mom who gets walked over.

Answer 6

i d say not only that but also people shouldn t feel the need to make rude comments about any child and parent in a store or anywhere else, it happens to every parent at least once!that there child throws a tantrum in the middle of the supermarket and its like everyone looks at you as if your the worst parent in the world!!! people suck man and thank god there are people like you out there to bring the standards up!!

Answer 7

I completly agree and feel you.  While I dont have an autistic child my sister in law is autistic.  I still remember the day a few years ago when she was 12.  Me and my husband had taken her to the store to pick out a present for her mom for mothers day.  After a 2 hr shopping trip she FINALLY decided on a present.  We paid for it and went to leave the store and then she had a melt down saying that the present she got was wronge (she is verbal when she chooses to be but still VERY autistic) Well by this time my 6 month old daughter was crying because she was hungry and me and my husband told her nicely we had to go so that we could feed the baby and that we could come back tommorrow if she wanted to exchange it.  Well it didnt go over well and she freaked out untill my husband had to practically drag her out of the store.  In the end we had the cops there because someone had called them and we had to prove we werent kidnapping her or trying to hurt her.  Easier said than done when she was worked up and refused to communicate to the cops.  We finally were allowed to take her home home but no parent will understand untill that walk a day in your shoes.

Answer 8

Our society is so uninformed about disabilities in general. I work at a high school in the special ed department and whenever we take our kids (who i absolutely adore!) anywhere people just stare at them. I mean, theres a few people who do smile and interact with them but the majority of people dont understand! We just had a carnival dance last night with out kids at school and we had games and music and huge slides and all kinds of fun stuff and a lot of the main stream kids came to dance and play games with our kids and it was so much fun! If i had just one wish... i would wish that everyone could be around kids with disabilities long enough to get to know them and really really understand them! Theyre some of the greatest people Ive ever known! As you can see I'm very passionate about this lol... I'm almost in tears just writing about it... but i definitely know where youre coming from and i pray that the world does become understanding as soon as possible... it would make the world a better place! I wish the best for you and your family... enjoy each other ;o)

Answer 9

People like zoos and being critics......

They think that when they see someone who can not control something this gives them the right to judge them and say oh my god if that was my kid I wouldn't let them act that way.

I personaly have not had to deal with an autistic child but I have had to take care of autistic adults.

Alot of people don't know how to help in situations like that.  I mean you actually extending a hand could have gone either way.  She could have blew up at you or reacted the way she did.  Most people don't want to put themselves out and become part of the specticle.

Sad but true.

I am also surprised that more people don't know about autism since 1 in 100 kids are diagnosed.