Why do people think adoption, and money have anything to do with each other?

Question

I was reading some responses to an adoption question. It was are you happy you were adopted. There were a total of 24 answers, and out of those 24 about 12 concerned how wealthy their adoptive parents where. I just do not see raising that as an issue, my bio father had money, my adoptive father had money, but I ended up in foster care(Poor). I learned so much about life experience then and there that their money could never have bought. I guess I never saw the material side to life; it was always about finding happiness with me, or maybe acceptance, but never what money could buy. I do not know why, but this offfended me badly. I thought after living life, and knowing you got a second chance of some sort.....Why would you care about money?

Answer 1

Traditionally, money has always been one of the big clinchers in explaining why a young woman needed to give up her child.  

In reality, of course, being adopted doesn't guarantee a better life, a worse life, a richer life or a poorer life.  It simply guarantees a different life.

Answer 2

because unlike entering into a *surprise* pregnancy, an adoption should be a child that is well thought out & planned for.

Also, adoption agencies want to be sure they won't be stiffed for their fees

Answer 3

Sdudas,

First, I am sorry that you end up in foster care.  Money can't buy love but prospective adoptive parents are need to make more than $70,000. a year in order to qualify to adopt this is required by government not adoption agency. The government just want to make sure that child don't end up on welfare. However,  each adoption cost from $25,000. or  more.  Adoption Agency charges a young child some where $17,000.00 to $25,000.00 and the cost of paper work and anything else would be $5,000.00 more International adoption each trip cost $5,000. and more and most country require travel two times.

I spent more than $30,000.00 dollars to a con artists group call them-self adoption agency and still have no children.

Remember adoption and poster care are different.

Keep your chin up Adudas

With love

Answer 4

Hi Sdudas,

I agree with you that money is not required in order to be happy, and those who do have wealth are not necessarily any happier than those without.

One explanation is because when adoption agencies are "counselling" expectant women on adoption options, money is always brought up as one of the reasons that they are not qualified to raise their own child.  Mothers are often made to feel inferior because they may not be able to afford designer clothes or a designer nursery while a prospective adoptive parent may be able to.  You are right, the money has little to do with their actual parenting abilities or their capacity to love.

In order to become approved to adopt, prospective adopters must show they have financial stability, among many other factors, at the time of the adoption.  The assumption is money means they will be better parents, or that the child will be happier.  You cannot replace love with money.  By the way, financial situations change for many families, both adoptive and natural ones, for the better & for the worse.   One adoptee friend of mine was adopted into a much poorer family than her natural family was.  There simply are no guarantees.  Good question, thanks for asking.

julie j

reunited adoptee

Answer 5

that's right the best things in life are free.. money can't buy love.. Love is FREE...

Answer 6

Adoption agencies do look at a quality of income...but that doesn't always translate into a quality of love.

I grew up with my natural parents, and poor.

Some of my friends grew up wealthy...and unfortunately with serious abandonment issues.

Parents now think that money can buy happiness and we all seem to work more hours to "buy" our children's love.  Buying your child a WII doesn't tell them that you love them.

I can't really answer your question...but I commend you for thinking about these things and realizing that true happiness doesn't come with a paycheck.  It comes from yourself and your actions...I wish more people understood that.

Answer 7

its not that the child cares about money, but the adoption agencies usually require  the parents adopting a child to have some sort of money so they can make sure you can afford a baby because children are expensive....hope this helps...

Answer 8

I totally agree with you! Material things are nothing compare to love. there are alot of people out there that would rather be with parents that love them then parents that are rich. I thank the lord my parents gave me both. but I have given my son both as well and he responds more to the love then the money! all that should matter is if you have enough money to support a child not to be rich. but the main question should be will you love this child.

I have decided to become a foster parent and all of my family and friends keep telling me "well your going to get alot of money" That shouldnt matter and I tell them that and all they say is yeah right!  How sad is that!

great great great topic lovin it!!

keep it up!!

Answer 9

I wonder if this seems like it matters more because so often people who are financially secure do adopt where as most lower income people wouldn't due to fiances?

I raised two kids as a poor mom and I am raising two more very comfortable... It is only coincidence the little ones were adopted... But, our daughter sure has found her snotty-tude and I don't like it....

Maybe these people would have had this same kind of attitude had they been born to wealth and never been adopted... It's just that adoption is something they can factor in......

There really are people who think money is everything--and there are I am sure adopted children who feel blessed to be brought into wealth.....but, there are a lot of people who were not adopted who can say they feel the same way!