Why do people think fostering kids is bad?

Question

i was at the store today with my mom, who fosters kids, and we just got a lil baby girl, and anyways we were at the store and my mom was talking to me about fostering. then this women came up and started saynig about how fostering is bad, and its teking kids from their parents when tehir parents should be dealing with the kids, and she said some other things, that basically made my mom and all foster parents sound like the devil! lol. i dont think the women knew my mom was a fister mom, cuz were not sopose to tell anyone but, i dont understand how she could think that. i mean its just like watching a baby while their moms in jail or older kid, or if they were home with their mom whos abusive they might be dead by now. someone has to take care and love these kids, dont you agree? and i do understand that maybe some foster homes arent as good. lol, idk it just kinda got me thinking.

Answer 1

Ignorance.

You are taking a child away from the bad situation and giving them a 2nd chance at being a kid.

But there is a small sad thing, sometimes, the child can be forced to switch home if a realitive wishes to care for them. It is sad but happens.

However, I stayed in a foster home for a bit while my mom and dad straightned out their lives. It was happy.

I think foster care is a good idea!

Answer 2

Pay no mind to this ignorant woman are any others like her. She has a lot of nerve  to just come up and spew off even more when she does not know the situation.  Clearly this is one of those people who’d keep a child with their biological parents no matter what.  Even if the kid was abusive or the parent is a drug addict who cant even take care of themselves let alone kids. Perhaps their in prison or even trying to get their life back on track but cant care for the kid(s) at this time.   A child does not always  have someone in their birthfamily  that would be  willing or able to take the child on.

Your mom's doing a good thing giving love and some stability to kids. Regardless if its a long time or short time.

Answer 3

The only down side to it, I think, is the fact the foster family/foster children may become too attached to one another. Say the foster child lives with a foster family from a very young age - when they're a bit older, and their real parents are out of jail, out of rehab, etc. and allowed to take their children back - the child won't want to go with them. They won't know them, and they won't understand why they're being taken away from their "family".

But given the fact if it were not for foster care, a lot of these kids would end up in group homes or still with abusive, alcoholic, drug addicted, or negligent parents...I'm all for foster care.

Answer 4

the lady probably had a child taken from her is those are her views. Being a foster parent is a wonderful thing, its not the fault of the foster parents that the child(ren) are in foster care, its because of the parents.

Answer 5

I agree. Maybe the one that talked to your mom heard mostly the negative aspects like some foster families neglecting children. There are ones that foster only to get the money and spend it on themselves. But for every bad one there is a good a foster home out there. People just need to stay open minded.

Answer 6

Being a foster parent is a wonderful thing.  So is knowing how to type and spell properly.

Answer 7

They think you are taking kids away from their parents against there will. Some people can't afford kids or the parent(s) are in jail or abused the kid .

Answer 8

Unfortunately there's a stigma to people who foster. It's great if foster parents really have compassion for these kids and are not doing it just so they can get a check at the end of the month.

Answer 9

I was raised in the foster care system from age 9 to adulthood. My mother just gave me away. Kept my bro and sis, and gave me up.

Foster kids have a stigma, people automatically assumed there was something 'wrong' with me.

Some fosterparents take in kids just for the stipend (and in my case it was over 400 dollars a month...and my parents took in 8 or 9 kids at once...and some people do do it just for money....free babysitters, etc. I KNOW This to be true.

And back when i grew up in the system it was MUCH worse.

**edited to add*** and i am currently raising my sister's baby, in addition to my own child, and have been since CPS took her child away from her.  I am single, and do recieve help for his medical needs. I couldnt' afford to be a new mommy(single) again, but I was not going to let this baby go into the system.

and another PS: she is my foster sister....so, there is no biological relation between any of us except for myself and older son.

And one more PS: since I have been an adult, my fosterparents have finally stopped taking in kids, (I think I literally have about 89 foster brothers and sisters...), and now there is only 4 of us that report to them as 'mom and dad'. Growing up was not nice. But without them now, I would have no parents.

Answer 10

the only difference btween babysitting and fostering is that you get paid way more--i know people who do this to supplement thier income and get like $1500 per child--so they stockup if you know what i mean--i do agree that the parent s should be dealing with thier own children but sometimes circumstances make that difficult to imppossuble--i judt find it hard to believe that relatives are not available to help out thier own families--anyways--my friends kids just got out of foster care since she was in jail for 2 years and now they are unruley and dont listen to her at all--they even request to go back to the foster care--when she told them they were paid to take care of them they stopped dead in thier tracks--i guess they didnt realize that she has to work to take care of them nobody is paying her!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 11

PEOPLE WITH A HEART WOULDN'T THINK THAT OR SAY THAT. FOSTERING A CHILD IS A WARM THING TO DO. BUT THERE ARE SOME UPS AND DOWNS TO THIS, SOME FOSTER HOMES ARE WORSE THAN PRISONS. THE CITY OR STATE SHOULD DO MORE INSPECTIONS AND VISITS.

Answer 12

That woman is just ignorant. Obviously there is great possibility the child was taken out of an environment found to be unsuitable for him/ her to be exposed to, at least until the parents can fix their situation or find a responsible guardian for the child. Your Mom is very generous & loving to open her heart & home even if temporarily to help these children in the meantime. Sounds like that woman in the store would rather these children be stuck in an orphanage or left in the bad environment. She has no place to judge, she doesn't know the circumstances surrounding these kids, & you certainly shouldn't care what she thinks.

Answer 13

As for the comments about being paid, I'd love to think where people expect foster carers to find the extra funds for a growing family from otherwise. And while there are unfit foster carers who are not allocating the money where it should be (i.e. to the child's upbringing) there are many foster carers who are wonderful.

*mad*

Answer 14

Sheer ignorance. That woman would probably be alright with having had the child aborted rather than have her precious tax dollars spent on foster care. Most people think that because their particular situation is all peachy then it has to be peachy for the rest of the world also.

You just keep on doing what your doing and more power to you.

Answer 15

Foster Parents and those who adopt children from Foster Care are trained to understand the attitudes we will face as we go about our lives doing whatever we possibly can to love a child--who has been abused or neglected...expecting that Some people will think our children are not much more then trash...

Sad but, it is very true.

From the school, doctors and neighbors we and our children will eventually encounter some person who views us as no better than the families our children were taken from.

It is a very hard thing to face when all a person wants to do is change the future of an innocent human life--but, it is as real as any prejudice that exists.

As the adults in the situation most of us understand, however it is the Heartbreak for any parent--bio, foster or adoptive to witness the hate other people might have for something the Child is not in any way responsible for.

When I hear these things I say, Thank God people like you are not interested in helping someone who is innocent...

But, I will say that I have cried many tears for the hate my children face when we least expect it....the worst places are the public schools...

***Woops left this Out: Thank God in many cases we do take children away from people who abuse them or don't care about GETTING up and doing what it takes to offer a child a home that isn't filled with the things that Foster Children lived with before being Taken away....  There is pleanty of help for families unable to pay their way and Children ARE NOT TAKEN just because the parent is Poor!

They do not even take babies or children who are Homeless to Foster Care unless they Are Abused or Neglected.... POOR is not the issue--poor people who meet the needs of their children do not have their children Taken Away.

Answer 16

I totally agree. Fostering Kids does not mean that you are takin them away from their parents. Its means that their parents arent able to care for them. Your mom isnt doing anything wrong. She is giving children who have nothing in life right now a chance. What she is doing is very commendable and more people should be like her.

Answer 17

The only reason that woman said that was probably cause she lost her kids and they were put into a foster home. She probably also thinks that kids are a waste of time : P shes such a bad person for even saying it

Answer 18

Your moms not bad. She's great. You should go give her a hug and tell her that.

She is being a mom to these children when they need it most.

Answer 19

Some people aren't cut out for fostering. Fine. However, what gives them the right to condemn others for doing so? I suppose they are just ignorant.

Your mother is a great person for fostering.

Answer 20

Ignorance I guess. And not ALL people think that way.

Answer 21

I don't think it's bad. I think anyone willing to be a mother to a kid is a great person.