Why do people think it's ok to interfere with their kids social life?

Question

I have noticed that my kids friends parents are always butting into the teen drama that goes on at the high school. One example is my daughters best friend got caught giving some other boy oral s*x, and the mother called the boy to tell him that she has another boyfriend. If it were my daughter, I would have brought her straight to the clinic for STD checks, then grounded her for a year!

Answer 1

I think parents should know what their kids are up to but I agree any parent that get involves in the drama aspect needs to get a life.

Answer 2

I'm torn on this subject.  I agree with the earlier answer which says that parents need to be aware of the social situations their children are involved in.  But, I wouldn't call up someone to tell them my child has a different boyfriend/girlfriend.  That's really not my business.  What I would do is very much what you said you would do...go to the clinic and put my child on birth control and explain to her how some STD's can be contracted orally so oral s*x is in no way safe s*x.

Answer 3

Parents always want to be the superhero in their child lives. Typically they do not like seeing them embarrassed, in pain, or hurting in anyway regardless of how old the child gets. Some parents have tried to be there for their child so much that it is something that they can not help. They feel as though they have to do it.

For the example you gave, the mother does not sound like she is stable herself and her daughter is acting out what she sees as accepted. Everyone knows oral s*x takes place but that is not something a teenager should be doing. She is being raised not to respect herself. Normally I would not jump to conclusions but based on the mother's action towards it, it is obvious.

I would not want my daughter hanging around the child. Growing up, I was always told "birds of a feather, flock together." It is not healthy to have that kid of reputation at any age and I wouldn't want my child receiving it, especially from something that she has not done. You never know who at her school will be in her future and if the reputation and opinion is formed already about her it can hinder her future.

Think about it.

Answer 4

I don't understand it either. It's one thing to be involved in your child's life. A parent should be involved, it's part of the job. It's another thing entirely to interfere the way you described.

I agree with you about the STD part, though not so much with the year long grounding bit. I don't necessarily think that would help her any. Instead I would have a refresher talk with her about safer s*x practices, explaining that oral is not "safe s*x" and that she can still contract an STD with it. I would also talk to her to make sure that she wasn't being pressured into it. (This would of course vary depending on her age, this is assuming is is an older teenager).

Amber E: I don't think the problem is parents who want to be friends with their child. My mom is one of my best friends in the world, and she is an amazing parent. She's my best friend *because* she's such a good parent. I can talk to her about anything, and I can trust her completely. Not only that, but she guides me to be a better person. Life is easier being a good and decent person, and my mom made me that way. How could I not be friends with her knowing that?

The problem is parents who don't understand what being a friend to their kid means. Interfering with their child's social life in the manner described by the asker is far from being a friend to your child, just as letting a child grow up to be a spoiled brat, or a bad person wouldn't be an act of friendship.

Answer 5

For mothers who literally get involved in their daughters drama like that, is a little weird.  I had a friend whose mother was like that.  When her and I had afight, her mother always butted in when friends really need to figure it out on their own.  I woudl also personally take my daughter to get checked for STDS and not allow her out of the house for a very long time unless I am with her.  When my children get older, I am going to be like my mother.  She always knew who, when, and where.  I always gave her a phone number and she trusted me.  Thats how I will be with my children.  I would like to know what is going on with my child and who they are getting along with and what not, but I will not be calling the child and telling them "oh so and so has another boyfriend."

Answer 6

A LOT of parents try to be best friends with their kids and don't try hard enough to be parents. They get involved in the crushes and the girl-fights, and don't realize that these kids need to have kid friends and adult parents. I have no problem with parents that are INVOLVED in their kids lives, but I think they need to remember that they already had their turn being a kid, and they need to let their child have some experiences without the parents being part of it.

Answer 7

first of all its not your say in how people raise their kids.its their kids.key word "their"!!!

second maybe thats what they think is best,stop worrying about other people and what they do and worry bout urs!

Answer 8

I strongly belive in parents being involved in their childs life because kids do need guidance but there are limits and the situation you talked about crossed that line of being too involved and not having a life of their own

Answer 9

Mom is probably quite young and see this in terms of how it affects HER and her daughter.  Self centered parents are a pain.

Answer 10

cuz adults are g*y!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

they think ther responsible and kids are jus all bad but olittle they kno they wer kids once

Answer 11

Interfering is one thing, getting involved (like in the example you've just cited) is another.

First, I am a quiet, very well educated, learned, unassuming and rather passive individual who enjoys many things about life and the world around me.  When provoked, I am as irrational, mean and as vindictive as a coked out rattle snake.  As the father of 5 (yes 5) daughters there will be h**l to pay should they be caught with any **** in their mouths that isnt covered in feathers.  Further, any punk little boy brave enough to convince her that it is a good idea, had better hope that his soul belongs to Jesus, cause his @ss is gonna belong to me.

Hows that for interference?

Answer 12

Parents like to know what's going on in their kids' lives no matter how old the kid gets,I guess because they want to be best friends with the kids when they should just be the authority figure and share their knowledge of what's right and what's wrong,depending on how they're raising the kid.

I think parents need to let their kids live their own social lives and only help out when the kid seriously needs help (being bullied or need help with a crush),but otherwise the kid needs to figure out things by themselves otherwise they'll never be too independent and won't know how to deal with things unless mommy or daddy helps.

But if I was the mom,I wouldn't have called the boy and said my daughter had another boyfriend!That'll just ruin her life!I would've taken her to a doctor and grounded her for half a year!

Eh,you gotta let people live their own lives...even if they're doing wrong,ha.