Why do people think your a bad mum for?

Question

sending your children to nursery.I send my daughter 2yrs and my son will go in november he will be 5 months.I work for the two days.I find it helps me to be better as a mum and stops me from getting depressed and self harming having time at work to be something other than mum.Me and my husband have decided to send them an extra day so 3 in total so i can do all the cleaning washing ironing etc.Would you think as me as a bad mum?

Answer 1

I think is fine to send your kids to a nursery at any age before school,it helps them interact with other kids,plus its more fun for them,cos they get to paint,play etc and its good for there confidence,dont worry about it,atleast you get your housework done without your kids messing up after you!!

Answer 2

If you're a bad mum then i must be an ogre. I went back to full time work when my son was 5 months old. He's now 6  years ( his dad died when he was 3 ) and some days i don't get home until 6pm.  In the holidays he comes to the office with me on most days though so it evens itself out. I believe we can have a good job and be a good parent - we shouldn't feel guilty for providing a good life/future for our children.

Answer 3

no you are not.... chill

Answer 4

You are making sure your children are taken care of, and doing something good for yourself and your family as well, so you are definitely a good mom.  I was a single mom, and both my girls were in day care from the age of 6 weeks old, and they have turned into wonderful teenagers, almost adults.  As long as you make quality time to be with your kids, a few days a week in day care shouldn't be a problem.

Good luck!

Answer 5

Generally speaking, it is difficult for a lot of us to feel good about babies being thrust into an atmosphere where they do not receive the undivided attention of one or two "parental" figures. Kids are in school and day care for so many years now.  As a preschool teacher, I think that parents and their children "pay" for that in one way or another.

Only you know what degree of interaction you have with your children. If you would be flat, depressed and angry because you were with them all day everyday, then you shouldn't be there. But don't kid yourself into thinking that a 5 month old is going to be enriched by spending so much time away from the people he loves most. By the time a child is 2 1/2 they do get coniderable stimulation and interaction from other people being in their life. Just don't allow the 3 days to become 4 and 5 days as that will become increasingly tempting as life gets in the way.

Babies are little and need time to feel that they are the center of someones universe. If the world were a perfect place, and every mom had the choice, I would say that no infant should be in a daycare situation for the first 12 months. But do I think that makes you a bad mother? No, as long as they aren't parked in a bed or in front of the television when they are with you

Answer 6

NO you are lucky to afford a break from the kids

Answer 7

I personally think 2 days a week is fine for a 2/3 yr old but not a baby,  a baby should be at home with its mummy.

I dont work so if I were to send my children to nursery to get a break to do ironing etc I would think there was something wrong with me, when doing my ironing etc i put the children out the back to play or if its raining pop them in the play room and they can watch a dvd or paint etc...

Its up to you how you rare your children so you shouldn't be bothered by what other people think, im not

Answer 8

I would say no, except your sending him one day just to clean?  Come on, he's 5 months old.  I understand needing to work, but Sending him for a selfish reason like that isn't right.  Clean while he naps, and spend the rest of the day with him.

Answer 9

No i wouldn't, I'm not just a mum I'm my own person and i think not doing things for yourself will make you resent your kids. If that is what you need to do to keep you head together go for it.

Answer 10

That doesnt make you bad at all, I only spend evenings and weekends with my son. He went to creche aged 4 months because i had to return to work. There is no other means I'm aware of, of making a living despite with what I'm doing. If I'm to give my child the best, I need to work. He's college education and schooling is not going to pay itself, nor will clothes and food come from the sky like manna. I give my child all the love I can and that is more important than anything else. He still loves me still and looks forward to those hours when he spends them with me. I also get a sense of fulfilment knowing I can buy him what he needs and go to bed with him in my arms...

Answer 11

No I had my 3month old baby at the childminders and returned to work.

But the problem is you find it hard to spend any quality time together and then the childcarers seem to know more about your baby than yourself!

I ended up quiting and my life is less hetic and I can enjoy

the good things in life: 1) my baby

I found that work made me depressed and I went back so I wouldn't be but I was f/t and you are p/t so no will be your answer.

You are a model mum - keep it up!

Answer 12

if you can afford it do it, I was sent to nursery school cuz me mum had a job

Answer 13

Not at all, each to their own!  I work 3-4 days per week, but im lucky and have a mother in law that looks after my daughter, plus i am a nurse and work shift work, so usually hubby is home soon after i go to work......but if i had to i would put her in child care, as for the day to do all the housework, i wouldnt feel bad about that, its more common than u think!

Answer 14

I think it's a good opportunity for them to learn and make friends before school starts. It can be really hard on a child starting school when they have no experience in a similar social situation. However, so many days a week could be difficult for some children but I think as long as they're happy then there's nothing wrong with it. My son is three and used to go to nursery three times a week because he loved it. He'd been going since he was two and started at once a week but he enjoyed it so much that he started going more. I intend to do the same with my other children when they feel like they want to. It provides opportunity for them to try new things and just have a good time, while you can catch up on housework and things which need doing.

As long as everyone's happy then I don't see a problem.

Answer 15

No i think this is a great opportunity for your children to mix with other children from a young age. Its only 3 days a week you have them for longer than that, think of it like a mother and baby group but without the parents.. professionals instead qualified to look after them.

I think this is great and helps you too im sure people would think you were a bad mum if you were getting stressed and taking it out on them or just leaving them with anyone. Be positive your doing a great thing, this will help prepare your children for school!!!

Answer 16

There is nothing wrong with working mothers.  It is usually stay at home moms that give us the hardest time about putting our babies in daycare.  I am a single mom (I am adopting my son) and I have to work to support us, so yeah, he goes to daycare 5 days a week.  I dare anyone to tell me I am a bad mom for working to support us.  I try to spend a lot of time with him at night and on the weekends and try to make it "quality" time as much as possible.  Do I feel guilty for not being there more, yes I do, but unless I suddenly become independtly wealthy, then there is no alternative.  I think moms who get time away from their kids are better moms because you can appreciate them more.

Answer 17

i returned to work when my little boy was one and he went to a private day nursery until he started school.  I had people telling me that i should be at home with my child and that you dont have kids to palm them off on other people, (this was from my mother in law at the time, now Ex!) but the ironic thing was that her daughter would work and she (the mother in law) would child mind her kids but judge me when i returned to work because I SHOULD BE LOOKING AFTER MY CHILD even though i asked her to care for him and she said no!!!!!!!!!! What i am trying to say is...........you are your childs mother and you sound like an excellent mother and your partner sounds like an excellent partner, you do not have to justify your self to anyone but your children and you know them better than anyone else in the world, never mind the do gooders who think that a woman should be baking cakes and hand washing terry nappies and be greatful for the privalidge! lol We can have it all and the only people who suffer is the small minded shallow people who were too scared to make their own decisions and went/go through life following suit.  If you and your children are happy then so what you at the end of the day will be a better mother if your not depressed (been there done that!) and that in turn will make happy children and happy husband :-) have a great day :-)

37 weeks pregnant with No 2 and mum to gorgeous 7 year old :-)

Answer 18

you are not a bad mom for that, you know that you love your kids and this is the healthiest way for you to care for them. the only time i criticize parents is like this one little girl at my boys daycare-she is 9 mo old and at daycare 6 days a week almost 12 hours a day and stays overnight at least once a week!