Why do people want what they havent got?

Question

I have a son, i do not want any more children yet im accused of being selfish, that they will be lonely etc but my point is.

Some only children may be lonely and what siblings, yet some children with siblings want to be only children.

Some siblings get on, some fight, my mum doesnt even see her brothers or sisters and didnt have a great time growing up with them.

So even with siblings you can still be lonely, it just boils down to the person you are, cause all situations have good and bad.

Why is people always want what they havent got?

I dont fel sselfish, this is the only way i can offer my son a finacially secure life, he would be able to all he wishes i know money isnt everything but it pays for a roof over his head, his food, clothes etc, the financial strain of another child, we juat cant afford and mentally wmotionally i feel i cant cope with more i have dyspraxia (www.dyspraxiafoundation.org.uk) and 1 is plent enough for me.

Answer 1

Hi. Its the same for me. I have decided i only want one child but family and friends say that I'm not being fair as he will be lonely. My reason for wanting only one child is for financial reasons, i could not afford the expenses of two children, pay the mortgage and bills in order to keep my house. In a few years who knows i might be better off but by then i feel the age gap would be too big. I have a twin sister, it was great growing up together and we have a strong bond but i have cousins and friends who do not get on with their brothers and sisters. I have met people who have siblings who want to be the only child and only children wanting siblings. If i have two children they may both wish they were an only child, if i choose to have one he may wish he had siblings. Yes i feel we are never happy with what we have which is why i don't think i am being selfish by only wanting one child as that is all i can financially afford.

Answer 2

because they haven't got it.

Answer 3

I have one and she is already kindergarten ready and will only be 4 next month. I work full- time, go to school, and am a mother. I would not have the time or energy for another. I have no health insurance, yet. Maybe when i get a bettter job, but right now there is a low income clinic nerby. I do have life insurance and I started a college fund-only $15 a month, but it's a start.

Answer 4

we want what we know we could have.. but being denied it always makes us more adament to have it.

tell your husband/boyfriend that another baby is possible, but in the future.

dont just say downright no. people always change their minds.. not saying you will! but avoid arguments by suggesting possibility

=]

Answer 5

it's all about how you raise them, if you hav a second child and teach both your kids to respect each other, right from the beginning of their relationship, things should turn out well

Answer 6

your not being selfish at all, do what you want, he is your kid. Don't listen to the generalizations of other people who think they know best.

If one is enough, then just have one, don't have another child just because some twats are looking down on you, its your life.

I know plenty of only children who are happy and plenty of people with siblings who are happy.

Answer 7

My best friend is an only child. Her mother used to work with puppets, and she spent most her baby days touring around the city in puppet shows. When her mother got an office type of job, her uncle took care of her. He works in the theater business, and my friend grew up amongst costumes, masks, wood, paint, etc. He let her participate in his work, and the came up with oh so many games. She now works on the theater business as well.

I am the 5th of 7 children. I had a hectic childhood, sometimes good, sometimes bad, sometimes I felt like the house was overcrowded and I needed space, and other times I felt lonely amongst a huge crowd. It was everything except boring. When I ask her if she felt lonely growing up alone, she said she wouldn't have it any other way. Of course I say the same thing about my huge family, I wouldn't have it any other way, and I am not saying what is best. I am just saying if you give your child enough QUALITY time, your son can have a wonderful childhood. A lot of board games, or going out to play in the yard makes a huge difference than sitting in front of the TV or the Wii.

Better to bring one happy child into this world, than 4 miserable children.

Answer 8

its hard to see what you have and easy to see what you want untill what you have is gone then you can see it all and want what you once had

Answer 9

the grass is always greener on the other side.... human nature

Answer 10

I have one daughter, Im not sure if i want another either, I havent 100% decided but im edging more to the no side. I am in the same boat as you, I can give my daughter now a good life, Finacially secure, Be able to go on holidays etc. But with another child i doubt i could, My daughter would not have that security and she is the most important thing in my life, I need to look after her.

When i told my friend this she was so shocked, I mean, Gobsmacked that i could only have one child, Saying they will be lonley and spoilt. I dont think thats right at all, I know a few only children, and there not in the slightest spoilt and didnt feel lonely.

Everyones different, Some people want only one, where as others want a huge family, Im happy with just us 3.

succubus, I tottaly agree.

Answer 11

You have done the right thing. You weighed up the needs of your child, what you can cope with the the condition you have etc. and made the choice that suits you and your boy. Nobody has the right to question that.

I think people are always craving what they don't have. But if they do get what they want it doesn't always work out as they hoped.

The grass is always greener, I think.

xx

Answer 12

I have one child, alot of people have tried to convince me to have more, but I am happy with the one I have.  I think they have ideas about them being lonely.  We take her friends places when we go out and play with her etc.  She seems really happy.  Everybody can be lonely.  

I think you should not worry, you seem happy with your life.  I too am happy with my financial position and enjoy the family I have.

Answer 13

You can't please everyone in your life time, but you do have to satisfy yourself.  No one knows what you know, because again it is your life, so you know what, the h**l with them.  To recognize the Blessings you have and to be thankful for them, well that makes you a bigger person anyway.    God Bless.

Answer 14

if more people would be as down to earth and responsible as you instead of just making babies and not be able to provide for them financially and emotionally, this world would be a better place

Answer 15

The green is always grasser ...

Answer 16

I think you are being responsible only having one. Better to have one with a great living situation then 2 and not. Single kinds go threw phases as do those with siblings. Everyone is different...Just like at some point in life everyone sees the grass is greener on the other side.

Answer 17

My brother passed away when I was 19 years old.  I miss having a sibling.  I wish I had had more.  I have 2 children right now and want one more and I know that is the reason behind it, not that I necessarily feel like I need to have another child, but that I want my children to have one more sibling.  So... everyone's personal experiences form what they feel is important.  I feel siblings are very important because I lost one at a very young age.  I think everyone strives to give their kids a 'better life' than they had even though there would be no guarantees if my parents would have had more children that I would be close to my siblings at all.

Answer 18

This is because the grass is always greener on the otherside...so they say. However it is because we live in a world with scarce resources which we are only able to supply few of. In your case this is the goodness of yourself and the money, with one child you are able to supply plenty of these, however these are the 'scarce resources' in this case and with 2 children you cant give a sufficient amount. Along with the scarce resources we have infinite wants. Therefore we always want what we haven't got. However ther are some theories that believe in self-actualisation, however is there that next level we need to achieve, or once we have a lot is there always something else?