Why do radical feminists think all women should have careers before they get married?

Question

I'm 19 and i wanna get married and become a housewife. My liberal friends hate me for it.

Answer 1

In my opinion it's a form of selfishness. "Me first"! "I'm more important" than family.This is a new deal and completely opposite from the entire history of humanity.I believe that this type of thinking has done serious damage to the traditional nuclear family/

Answer 2

because you would be financially dependent on your husband.  Which there are a lot of problems with.

1) Single income families are not very realistic these days

2) Your husband would have the ability (not saying he would) to control you financially

3) In the event of a divorce you'll end up having to use all those silly radical feminist programs like displaced homemaker education funding, possibly welfare and child care assistance, and no-fault divorce alimony payments.  That is of course if you don't sign a pre-nup and he decides to keep you around for 10 years.

Answer 3

Kids grow up very quickly, and you'll still be young.  Then what?

Roughly half of all marriages fail.  You can't guarantee yours won't.  Then what?

Sadly, many husbands die sooner than their wives.  Then what?

Mr. Right may not come along right away, or may not get that wonderfully well-paying job that will buy you the pretty house you want.  One of your children may be born with health problems (God forbid).  All kinds of things may stand between you and your dreams.  Then what?

Finish school before you start popping the kids out.  You won't regret it.  Life has a way of happening regardless of what you want, and flexible people are more successful and happier in the long run.

It's not just "radical feminists" who think you should work before you get married, it's common sense.  And your liberal friends don't "hate" you.  They just want the best for you.

Good luck with your choices.

Answer 4

I really don't know any radical feminists and I'm way older than you.  Do you know what the term means?  

I am a feminist and a social liberal and  I don't hate my friends for making different decisions than I did.

Answer 5

The keyword here is "radical" feminists.

A real feminist would support you're decision to become a housewife if that was what you wanted.

Feminism is simply about choice--not forcing women to get careers.

Answer 6

That's because you really should be capable of supporting yourself and your family if you are ever put into that position. Your marriage could end in divorce or your husband could lose his job. What happens if he becomes disabled or too ill to work? You don't want to be in the situation of the displaced homemaker if any of those things should happen. Believe me, employers aren't exactly rushing out to hire older women with no marketable job skills and who haven't worked in years. The only type of job you can qualify for is a minimum wage one with no benefits.

Answer 7

They need to stick their "superiority"over men to men. You do what makes you happy.

Answer 8

Most feminists believe in the right to choose for yourself. That said, you might want to learn some skills so you can support yourself financially if your husband should leave you or die.

Answer 9

It's because you're exercising free thought. This is in violation of FEMINIST ideology.  Granted "femis adore men." Indeed, just like I adore getting stung buy wasps.

The adage goes, "You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time."

I thnk it applies nicely.

Answer 10

I am by no means a feminist and I believe you should have a career before you get married.

Get an education , live and explore a little and in the 50% likelyhood  the marriage doesn't work out , you'll have some work experirnce and job skills to make a decent living if you have to.j

Answer 11

If you truely free, you'll do whatever you want. Not what others think you should do.

Answer 12

I think that there is more to life than being a housewife.  Considering that you will have a great chance to live into your nineties do you not wish to explore how you can make a contribution to yourself and to your family?  There is a lot to be said for participating in a relationship before you have children.

Answer 13

Because modern women are obsessed with the idea that the only valid way to spend your time is in paid employment.

Also they persistently ignore the fact that most people (men and women) do not have careers, they have jobs, and many of them are not particularly interesting.  nevertheless they are things that have to be done, or the world would grind to a halt.

Feminists, however, do not care to contemplate this.  In 'The Feminine Mystique' for example, Betty Friedan savagely attacks not only stay-at-home-wives (who she believed were all bored out of their minds and therefore indulging in malignant and destructive behaviour), but men who are in run-of-the-mill jobs rather than exciting, rewarding careers.

She completely sidesteps the inevitable fact that someone has got to do the jobs that may not be particularly exciting, but that keep society going.  And while being a housewife may not be the world's most exciting 'career' it certainly beats many of the jobs that people have to do in this life.  moreover, she also doesn't seem to be able to get it through her head that some women actually enjoy being at home, and have the resources to keep themselves amused there.

What feminism has done, in fact, is to buy into the idea that getting ahead at work is the only thing in life that matters, family, home, husband etc, these are trivia.  Again and again you hear people say that they want to be out in the 'real world' i.e. the world of work.  Work is real, home is unreal.  I find this very strange.

However, men as well as women have bought into this philosophy, and most men nowadays want women who are going to work, as well as doing all the housework, cooking, childcare etc, so you need to be careful in your choice of a partner, and find one who is happy for you to stay at home,and who won't expect you to do two jobs at once.  I hope you find what you are looking for.

Answer 14

I know many feminists and as some of them are stay at home moms-they would say "do what you want to".

Feminists advocate choice in the 3rd wave of feminism-you're talking about radicals from the 2nd wave of feminism (1960's) who were mad at being told they HAD to be housewives or else. Many of the 2nd wave feminists-are dead. It's hard to be radically dead.

But other folks here are giving good advice (and they are a mixture of feminists; anti-feminists; and non-feminists answering your question)-be sure you can support yourself and your kids if anything happens to your spouse or you.

Answer 15

There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a housewife and a stay at home mom. I'm not a radical feminist. I'm actually not even a feminist, but I think it is foolish for a woman to go straight into an adult relationship from childhood without having obtained some sort of education or skills for herself. What if your husband looses his job? What if he leaves you? What if he were to die or become disabled? How would you support yourself and your children then? These are all very real scenarios. My boyfriend has a college degree and relevant work experience and he is having a hard time finding a job. How hard do you think it will be for you if you have no work experience and no education? Be realistic. I think women like you just want a cop out of any real adult responsibilities. Be an adult and cover your own bases first.

Answer 16

not sure that it's so "radical" to want to become established before you get married... of course, the whole feminism movement is about women having a choice. being a housewife seems to be your choice. be proud of it.

Answer 17

Well I don't know hat to say about your stereotyping, but marriage is RISKY! Yikes. It is pretty wise to have financial stability in case your husband doesn't leave you anything. In case of a divorce, that is. Even during the marriage a clingy person is a burden...

Answer 18

Radical feminists don't believe in marriage at all :-)

Answer 19

Building up your own savings before you get married is just good sense, even if you become a housewife later. It's not some kind of feminist conspiracy.

Answer 20

It's not about a career.  It's an expectation that all adults become educated or trained well-enough to be able to support themselves without a daddy or man as a meal-ticket.  Feminism is all about allowing women to have a choice.  I chose a traditional marriage.  BUT, I fight to protect women's right to choose THEIR way.  Before feminism, women were allowed only two choices basically, the daddy-man meal-ticket or prostitution.  MANY anti-feminists want women to have only those two "choices".  I fight that paradigm as though it is social syphilis. Also, as a tax-payer, you BET I have a right to scorn weak stupid girls deciding to delay childhood, opt for a Cinderella fantasy meal-ticket, breed, and then when Prince Charming dumps them by the HUNDREDS of thousands and because these delusional girls are unemployable, WORKING WOMEN have to support them with a third of our taxes being spent on social services to feed, house, clothe and pay for these girl's and their children's cable hook-up's.  I absolutely support women who want to stay at home and raise their children.  But, I strongly advocate, in the light of how many dead-beat dads and unemployable Cinderella wannabes these days responsible for collapsing our social services budgets, that we make laws criminalizing breeding and bringing children into this world unless both parents are competent enough to support them individually.

Answer 21

Feminists want to keep normal women away from men as long as possible.  So they can try to bring them over to the dark side.