Why do single mom always say "i am single mom"?

Question

I do not around saying I am a married mom

Answer 1

Being a single mom tells a lot about a person.  If I hear a person's a single mom, I figure she's overworked, exhausted, in need of a sympathetic ear and an overall superwoman.  She probably proud of the good job she's doing of raising her kids on her own, despite the difficulties.  If I hear a person's a married mom, I figure life is hectic but good.

Answer 2

i'm not a single mom, but my mother was and she sure did not walk around saying, " i'm a single mom."  I don't even understand what you are trying to ask. . . . . .   you should rephrase your question.  

Answer 3

the only reason I can think of, if you are referring to people on Yahoo answers, is because people will kind of see where they are coming from.  Single moms have a hard time financially and emotionally and when looking for an answer, they want people to factor those things in.  Thats just my guess.

Answer 4

You already admitted you were clueless.... You should have stopped there.

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

Answer 5

there is nothing smart about saying the words "i do" and signing your name to a piece of paper.  last time i checked those tasks weren't on an aptitude test...  and unless you are always walking around WITHOUT A WEDDING RING and WITHOUT YOUR KIDS then you DO go around saying I AM A MARRIED MOM... not everything is said with words!!!  *gosh, ur right...  ur a frickin genius.  

Answer 6

Because being single is a big part of their life and makes a big contribution to how their kids are raised because they don't have that support that many married women get from their spouses.  I have my spouse who takes over getting up with the baby at night every once in a while.  I have my spouse who helps at the dinner hour when he's home, changes diapers for me, and even bathes the kids so I can clean the kitchen.  

Being a single parent I would imagine would be hard.  I've never met a single mom who starts a conversation with, "I am a single mom."  Besides, you don't know what happened to make them a single mom.  Maybe her husband up and left her while she was pregnant with their second child and she hasn't seen him since.  Maybe her husband was killed in a car crash on his way home from a late workday, leaving her alone with the kids and no way to fend for herself.  Maybe she made some bad choices and became a single mom by getting pregnant.  

Maybe she says she is a single mom to let you know in advance of what she is dealing with or to forge a bond of kinship if perhaps you are also a single mom, which I'm sure she finds out soon enough that you aren't.  

I consider myself lucky.  My husband works hard to support us, he is a good father, a wonderful spouse, and he is very much involved in all our family life.  If he were to suddenly die, I could support myself and my kids, but it would be hard and heartbreaking.  Give them a break and don't judge too harshly.  You don't know the whole story.

Answer 7

coz they want sympathy thats why

Answer 8

b/c thats what they are SINGLE MOMs what else are they supposed to say??

Answer 9

Believe me, if you were making it as a single mother, you'd be shouting it from the rooftops! It's not easy! If you want to go around crowing that you're a married mom, have at it!

And yes, I was "smart enough" to get married before I had a baby too, and my husband passed away three years ago. So make sure you think of all the angles before you go spouting off.  

Answer 10

Because its an answer for why you are tired, why you need a stricter routine, why you cant go to a nightime bbq, why your housework needs to be done on a schedule and why I dont give a c**p about any opinion you may or may not have about what I do in or with my life.

In other words I have a reason for everything I do and say, why do you feel the need to judge :)

Answer 11

people also go around saying " I am happily married and am the mother of 2 wonderful children"

EDIT: oooooooooooooooh, so the purpose of your question was to bash on single moms, now its all clear, i was wondering. You should get off your high horse. Maybe one of your daughters will end up being a single mom, and then she will have to deal with people like you! you never know..........

Answer 12

lmao you were smart enogh to get married before you had a baby but just when you think you are better than a lot of single moms remember some of them were married too.  The Divorce rate is really high you too might be a single parent!

Answer 13

because they are..

Answer 14

okay, i'm only 18 and not a mom, but anyone with common sense could tell your question is condescending and rude.

just because you're "married" doesn't make you any better than single mothers.

Answer 15

Smart enough to get married?  There aren't words for what you are lady.  What exactly are you saying to and about women who's husbands or boyfriends DIED?!  Have you no consideration for other peoples feelings?  I feel sorry for your kids growing up with a mother who is obviously a stuck up ignorant snob.

Answer 16

because it a hard job being a single mom. i'm married and I'm thank full for my hubby. but single they only have them caring for there children. I think they deserve to gloat about it. they  do so much for there children and all by there selves. they deserve a reward.

Answer 17

No, they don't want sympathy. I'm a single dad and I say that. I don't want sympathy whatsoever. I just want people to know that if I can do something while raising a kid, then they can too. (Like finishing high school, not live off wellfare and food stamps, and stuff like that.)

I mean, I guess I'm a single dad...but I have a girlfriend, but I don't want her to feel like she has to be the mother of my daughter. Because she doesn't and won't be...unless one day we get married or something...but...yeah. Haha.

EDIT: And "i was smart enough to wait until i was married to have a baby". WTF? Some other people are, too, but you know not ALL marriages end up perfectly. Stop being such a b*tch and learn to mind your own business. I KNOW I made some mistakes in my life. EVERYBODY HAS. YOU'RE NOT PERFECT. The s*x was a mistake, my daughter isn't.

Answer 18

You know when i read this question I was fully prepared to give a rude answer about you being "smart enough" and judgemental. But I thought I would read the answers first. Im surprised a lot of these answers cant see they are the pot talking to the kettle. Married moms have help? Single moms have it harder? Single moms have to be 2 people and dont get sleep? Married moms have spouses who watch the kids.? Many single moms have a father who IS helping with support and visitation. And most have a support system of family or friends helping them cope. Most of you should realize that NOT all married moms have life as picture perfect as you all are making it sound. Some married moms are sitting at home while their spouse is fighting a war and they ARE raising a child by themselves. Some married moms are sitting at home raising their children while their husband works on the road. And some married moms are raising children and caring for a husband. Thats what I am doing. And any single mom who wants to trade places with me is welcome to a day of my life. If you think it would be fun to feed your husband, bathe him, help him in and out of chairs, up and down stairs, dress and basically live then come tell me how much easier i have it. I average 5 hours of sleep a night. I dont have the luxury of a husband who is ABLE to help care for my children. And i have a support system from my own family and friends. Im no better or worse than any of you. And some of you DO need to step back and realize that your answers were just as hateful to married women. You can NOT know anyone else's circumstances unless you have lived it.

Now to answer your question. People say they are a single parent because it is a major part of their life. They arent asking for pity. They arent asking for help, sympathy or anything else. They are stating one of their defining characteristics. I frequently state that Im a married mom of 3. Why? Because thats a big part of who I am. The same as a person who introduces him/herself as a Doctor. We are constantly defining who we are by what we do. Being a single mom is no different. Was I smarter than the single moms simply because Im married? h**l no. Dont ever think for a second you have the right to call yourself smart for signing a piece of paper. At any point in your life you could end up a "single mom" or worse.

Answer 19

okay look, i get what your saying but you dont have to be a smartas$ about it, im a 19 year old single mother of two, and i was not married however i didnt want my kids growing up around their father and drugs, you said it urself that u are clueless about being a single mom so dont judge us, you dont understand what we go through on a day to day basis.

let me educate you a little. single moms work hard for what they have and thats why we are so proud on everything we buy because no matter the age we are, most of us have to mature when we have kids and raising kids alone is a job itself. so when i say im a single mom, people tend to back off a little because they UNDERSTAND how hard it is.

Answer 20

They say it when asking questions here because it often can have an impact on the answers. It eliminates answers like "have your husband help" or "their father should talk to them" etc.

Ok, now about that "i was smart enough to get married before i had a baby" remark...

EXCUSE ME but there are plenty of women out there who are single mothers who were also "smart enough to get married before having a baby". Have you ever heard of divorce or better yet DEATH? How would you feel if you lost you husband and thus became a struggling single mother and had to deal with minded idiots like yourself day in and day out.

CLIMB OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO JUDGE OTHER PEOPLE, I'LL BET YOU AREN'T PERFECT EITHER.

Answer 21

in some cases I think its b/c they want people to know how hard it is to be a single mom. I am married with my first on the way, and my best friend is a single mom of 2 and I know she has it a lot harder then me, she does everything on her own

Answer 22

i know girls who are single moms, and some of them i feel for. its hard raising children even with two parents. but some i know who are single moms  go out and party and leave their children with the grandparents.  those are the moms i feel shouldn't try to play the poor me role.  

Answer 23

Wow you're a b*tch

"i was smart enough to get married before i had a baby."

No you were LUCKY enough to have a man stick with you and it was your CHOICE to get married.

People always ask about our partners and the baby's father, by saying you are a single mom you can avoid repeating yourself and answering questions.

Answer 24

I also dont like when women use the "single mom" card.  It makes people automatically assume that it means dead beat dad.   Its the pity party invite.  There are some great moms who are single that deserve a pat on the back but there also a lot of married women that deserve a pat too.  Sometimes taking care of a whole family is a pretty hard job too.

Answer 25

Wow, what a blow to all the single mothers out there. "I was smart enough..." Unless you have been a single mother, you cannot possibly know what it requires. Does you husband ever watch your kids so that you can go to the bathroom without having to worry about what they are getting into? Does he watch them while you take a shower or make dinner or even play with one while you take care of another? Unless you have ever been alone, you cannot know how much work being a single mother is. I am not saying that being a married mother is easy, but being a single mom requires things that is not required from a married couple. You have no right to say anything bad about single mothers until you have had to do it yourself.  

Answer 26

Because it helps avoid questions:

"Where is your husband?"

"Where is the father?"

"So, are you a stay at home mom?"

"Do you work?"

It helps answer things in advance.

It also helps you understand why she looks about ready to fall over (she works 50 hours a week and only sleeps 3 hours at a time), why she snaps at people (her nerves are raw), and why she just put her purse in the break room refrigerator and her lunch in her locker (she just can't think straight any more).

Edit:

Just because you're married doesn't make you smart, I know quite a few people who are married that are quite stupid.

Some of us didn't plan on getting pregnant, it could have happened because of failed birth control.  Some of us had partners that took off at the very mention of a baby, how is that our fault? I don't go around trying to get sympathy from people or looking for handouts, I do alright on my own, thank you.  I'm not on federal aid, food stamps or anything else, I work hard to support myself and my daughter and I don't ask for anything from anyone except for myself.

Answer 27

most of us are proud of the job we are doing. I was a teen mom. had my daughter at 17. Finished high school... finished college. Her father stayed around.. I'm currently pregnant with our second daughter. Things went bad and we broke up. I'm raising my 2 year old daughter by myself along with being 7 1/2 months pregnant.

Just cause you got married doesn't meant your smart. I'm a very intelligent person. Like i said i finished high school and college. I couldn't force my ex into marrying me... i wanted to get married...he wasn't ready. How does that make me dumb?

i agree with most of the people on here in saying get off your high horse. life's  A LOT harder without a partner. trust me I've had both points of view.  don't be so judgmental... none of us live perfect lives.

please think of how the words you say could hurt others.

Lacey

Answer 28

   Because as a single parent you never get a break.  You are always on parent duty.  Which means you are stressed to the max and totally exhausted from doing the work of two people.   This helps people to understand why they are not as patient as other people, or why they can't help out as much as they'd like, or why they can't afford to do alot of the things their friends are doing.  The fact that you even have to ask this shows how clueless you are to the struggles of a single parent.  

Answer 29

get off your high horse! AT LEASE SINGLE MOMS DONT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT CHEATING SPOUSE!!!

*****!

Answer 30

just so you know Not all single moms are single because they weren't "smart" enough to get married first. Some single moms are single because their spouse died  or something brought that couple to divorce....

I am glad you are a "married mom" and have it all figured out..

But Your judgment call wasn't called for.

happy married mom who was raised by an amazing single mom

Answer 31

We are PROUD of our kids and what we do to support them without help from anyone! that's why I say it. We struggle more than other moms. Married mothers HAVE help! We don't!

WE DIDN'T CHOOSE TO BE SINGLE MOMS! Who the F*CK are you to say we are not smart?