Why do single parents seem to be targets?

Question

Im sure 90% of single parents never planned to be.

I know quite a lot of single parent familys and most do a very good job with there children.

I am a single dad of 4 children under 7 and do whatever I physically and mentally able do for my children.

Im sure im not the only one who is offended for being stereotyped by the press, the government, even schools.

Why cant the people who let thier kids run wild and do nothing for thier kids be punished instead of fantastic parents who have thier workload doubled.

Nobody asks to bring kids up on thier own theres not always a choice.

Answer 1

Good answer 'ascoile' !

Answer 2

Single parents have always been targets, and they will be for time to come.

Maybe if you thought about where you stick it, then you wouldn't have the responsibility of not 1 or 2 children, but FOUR!

Sorry, but it is true.

Answer 3

The target isn't responsible people like you, it's those who don't care about having kids outside of a relationship because they are either too ignorant or otherwise caring to think before they s***w.

They are the ones whose children will need the most support from the state and may well go on to repeat the same misguided behaviour.

I wish you and your family all the best. Your children are fortunate to have you as their father and carer.

Answer 4

I have to agree with you dave.Its a shame 'all' single parents are stereotyped due to those who aren't as responsible as they should be.I'm a single mother and work hard to make sure my child is raised well and i'm sure you do a great job aswell.My advice would be to continue being a good dad(I'm sure I don't need to tell you that!).At the end of the day it isn't the opinion of the media,or of ignorant people that will matter ,it'll be that of our children.regarde'

Answer 5

it used to wind me up too being a single mum of 4.theres a lot of single parents out there who let their kids run riot so therefore everyone is tainted with the same brush.do what i did,rise above it and bring your kids up to respect their elders and the law.people used to tell me my kids were a credit to me.they are all grown up now with kids of their own and i am very proud of them.they have turned out to be decent people.

Answer 6

To the first answerer....

I'm one of those single moms.

Look at my question I previously posted - am I whining?

I don't think so.  My son's irresponsible father is being an idiot.

Anyways - I get what you are saying.  Obviously, since I'm a single mom, I'm a teenager, right?  WRONG.  That's what I get all the time, well you should have waited until you were older, blah blah.  I'm 29, lol.  

Sorry, I'm ranting.

I get what you are saying and I agree 100%.  I think it's awesome that you are a single dad.  Kudos to you! :)

Answer 7

i agree with you. I work and have two young kids but i feel because i am a young single mother people do tend to look down at me because of the fact I am a single mother. Being a single mother was not my choice and the relationship between myself and the kids father became unbearable, its the way life is sometimes.

I wouldnt change my kids for the world though x*x

Answer 8

the first poster has the same rotten attitude that most people have...

I know plenty of single moms and they are in no way getting rich off of child support or welfare. Women who get rich off of child support are few and far between...most single moms have to battle to get support from dead beat dads. if every dead beat parent payed what they owed we could totaly re due the welfare system in this country.

No every single mom ( or dad) sets off to be this way... there is a whole lot of men out there who just get up and leave their families one day and the mother is left alone..

I also know many many 2 parent families were the kids have turned out rotten

Answer 9

I am single mother of 2 sons (one being a special needs child) and I was with their father for 10 years!!! He was the one that decided he wanted to leave because he couldn't handle the pressure of being a parent, and I wasn't gonna raise him and our children. So to the first person that responded to this.......Yes I have custody of my sons, but I am trying to figure out these so-called benefits you are speaking of???? I just recently put their father up for child support, and not because I need it, I've been taking care of them since our split in 2001, I just want him not to forget about his responsibilities which he has shown to me that he has forgotten about. Because I work full-time in the medical field and he is "between" jobs the state of Pa ordered him to pay the minimum amount of support, because they say he needs money to live off of??? Only the single parents that sit at home and wait for a check from the county get all the so-called benefits you speak of.

Answer 10

most single parents, dont plan to be your right, and its sad that they are, but your children mean the world, and you cope and do ANYTHING for them, i do see why schools, press ect. targer single parent familys, for being in capable, when they are

Answer 11

Well said. I was a single parent for many years. Some of the kids of two parent families were just as badly behaved (if not worse) as mine (when they werent being angels!)

Single parents are an easy target. There is no union, no pressure group etc to support them in a national practical or political sense.  Not one that really gets listened to anyway.

Most single parents are less well off than two parent families. Which means our kids dont get the same opportunities for education as others do. They dont have computers at home, they cant go on all the trips, we cant afford to send them to Uni etc etc. So the disadvantage is perpetuated to the next generation.

Answer 12

most of my cousins who have children are single parents as am i, i seem to have started a trend, but only two of my cousins aren't responsible enough to take care of their children properly. personally i feel they should have their children taken away, but they get help from family members so they can go off and do whatever. I was always at home taking of my son unless i had school or an extra curricular activity i was involved in. and my other cousins have jobs and support their children. so for those in my family who are single parents only two shouldn't have kids. and it is parents like them who get all the negative attention.

Answer 13

I'm sorry for your loss and I sympathise with you thinking people constantly put single parents down. However I have a huge problem with people who have children simply for the benefits and do not tell me people do not. I have a god daughter who followed in her mothers foot steps and had a child at 16 purely for the benefits.

It's hard when I've worked hard to have what I have to see benefit breeders. My MIL fine example, 2 children by the time she was 17, never worked in her life and its people like me who pay for her.

I also do not understand why someone would have 4 children in this day and age, however if you pay for them yourself I have no problem, however if I pay then I do have a problem.

Answer 14

im glad someone else feels this way.i try my hardest with my 3 boys whos 4,14,15yrs.its difficult but i do not let my kids run wild.they have done some bad things wrong but were punished .i didnt ask to be a single parent my 2 boys dad was my first love and i thought we were together for ever and then years later i had my 3rd son after 4 yrs with my partner and we have now split.not what i wanted.before have asked for hepl from people in authority as i though i couldnt handle my eldest and they gave me no help what so ever. all i can do is keep trying to do right by my kids. it looks like its not only the dads that walk away easily.

Answer 15

Because it's easy for those who have had an easy life to target others who haven't.

I brought up four boys on my own because I had to get them away from a violent "father" and I sacrificed my own life in order to ensure that they grew up to be decent young men.

I am proud that I did so and don't care what others may say.

Answer 16

I know exactly what you mean, we are seen as a soft target by many agencies the worst offenders being social services.

Over the years I have had many dealings with SS (where have i seen them initials before) and they have tried to push me around as a single parent unfortunately for them I got a good solicitor who whooped them in court.

I think they think we have not got a support network and friends to tell us what they are doing wrong and that we will be to scared of losing our children to go against what they say

Answer 17

I was a single mom of a 7 year old when I got pregnant (while using protection). He ran out on me and  than I had a baby bump and a 7 year old... and single. I got stereotyped. But he was running free and knew one knew that I was pregnant with his baby. So I got stereotyped when I was doing the right thing... and than he got treated like mr. cool, because he was out on his own

Answer 18

It's not you they are getting at mate. You are one of the 4.3%

It's the 95.7% single mothers who always get custody and all the benefits and still whinge

Answer 19

I don't know why, but I agree with you.  I am not married, so I am a "single mom."  I have been with the same man for 11 years, so my child will be blessed to have both parents in her life.  Still, I will be labelled a single mom.  People assume all single parents are on welfare or something, which is definitely NOT the case.  I make too much money (just me; not including the dad) to get any type of assistance, but still all I see are comments about welfare moms.  Some parents with a husband/wife in the picture or with tons of money are not good parents.  People are just too lazy to consider each situation and find it easier to generalize, whether true or not.  

Great job on being a responsible parent!

Answer 20

You answered your own question dude.

"I am a single dad of 4 children under 7 and do whatever I physically and mentally able do for my children."

Whatever you physically and mentally ARE ABLE TO DO implies there's shortcomings in your parenting.  The job was meant for two.

One mom, one dad, all the time.  No one's supposed to do it by themselves.  If one parent dies, that's a real b*tch, but I don't think widowers are the ones being generalized when "single parents" are "targeted".  

It's the sheer multitude of moron's who create (multiple) children with shaky relationships and partners.