Why do so many 'working' mothers expect special treatment from their employers?

Question

Such as taking time off because of little Johnny's soccer match or little Mary's dental appointment. Or the 'right' to be late to work because they have to drop their spawn off at daycare. Let alone the general lack of productivity compared to a childless woman or a man.

Answer 1

Yes, I agree.  We aren't ALL like this.  I am a junior partner in my law firm, and never leave early for family purposes or expect special treatment.  This is why I hire a nanny - so I can focus on work when I am at work, and then enjoy my time with my family when I am at home.  Daycare is NOT set up for women with real jobs - they won't take your kids when sick, they have silly operating hours in a lot of cases (8-6pm), etc...

I saw your answer to my question and I agree - and these women are harming women like myself who actually work!!

Answer 2

working mothers dont expect special treatment they may expect fair treatment, they are trying to balance being a mother aswell as working, its not an easy thing to do

Answer 3

I don't think they are asking for special treatment at least not for the most part. Some people take of more than people that don't have kids so they can go to ball games or concerts themselves! Also you are wrong about the productivity of a person at work with kids versus a person without kids. It depends on the individual and I have come to find that people with kids work harder because they have more to strive for.

Answer 4

Try having a child depending on you, you having to work and you would understand.

Answer 5

Well Mr. "top contributor", please cite where you found proof of "the general lack of productivity compared to a childless woman or a man"?.  Everyone has the right to take their personal leave time as they choose.  Sounds like alot of anger on your part, maybe some therapy would help.

Answer 6

Because some men expect the woman to be the main child provider. I've heard some men say, " I can't take off because my boss wouldn't understand me staying at home with a sick child like he would a woman." Believe me, as a woman who was once a "single mom", I dreaded when I had to call my boss to tell him I wasn't coming in because my son was sick or when I wanted to take some time to see my son in a school program because my parents never did and my ex-husband sure wasn't gonna be there. I knew I had a responsibility to my job but I also had a responsibility as a mother to be there for my son. I do believe there are some people ( there are single dads out there trying to raise a family alone) that take advantage of the situation which probably cause people like you to ask such a question and all I can say about that is "shame on them" if that is the case.

Answer 7

I think it's something to do with normal people's emotive response to the spawn's emotional needs. It's silly; just to stop them suffering through a cold and loveless childhood. How selfish.

Men can use these excuses to - and should. Really, really should.

Answer 8

Because they are blood-suckers who expect society to take care of them and their children.

Answer 9

Beats me they had a solution to that problem in the 50s and before that.

Answer 10

ok...i am a working mother, but i do not expect special treatment from my employer...i worked for one organization for 4 years and i have been out once because my child has strep/flu at the same time...that being said what is the difference in me takin the day off for little marys preschool graduation and you takin the day off for personal reasons or say a fishing trip...as long as the working mother is using appropriate vacation pay or personal time whats the big deal...

Answer 11

So why is it the mothers who are off attending the soccer match or taking Mary to her dental appointment? All children have two parents, which begs the question...even when women work the same hours as men, why is it still the women having to balance the bulk of the childcare duties?

And if employers expect to hire experienced mature workers, they had better be prepared to be flexible about children.

Or do you imagine that the Fortune 1000 should staff their corner offices with 22-year-old recent college graduates?

Answer 12

I think it is ridiculous that company's allow such lenient standards for working mothers.   I lost a good job in the 70s because I had a sick child.  There were no exceptions for missing work or having special hours due to children.   If mothers expect to work part-time-then they should work part-time.   I am tired of covering and adding to my workload and stress level for working mothers.

Answer 13

You obviously don't have children.If we don't take care of them then who will?? Are we supposed to just let them skip appointments are not go to school? Your obviously a jealous ,angry person!

Answer 14

Gosh you know some working fathers expect the same flex time as these women!   Wonderful isn't it!  

You can think about in a few years when your mom needs chemo and you have to take a few hours twice a week to take her.    

Most of us work to live - not live to work.

I can understand why its not a top contrib for marriage and family.

Answer 15

That is a product of Feminism. They want special rights. And they've got them in the work place. Check it out-if a woman decides not to have children so that she can focus on her career, it would be illegal to promote her on that basis over a working Mother, even though said woman would be able to put in more over time and be a better, more productive employee in general. How is that fair to the women who decide not to have kids?

Answer 16

Maybe because they have special curcumstances ... I know many very hard working Moms that work alot harder than the single childless women and vice versa.

Sounds like you have an issue at work to deal with ...

Answer 17

I don't mind if someone takes a long lunch to attend a kid's program or is scheduled to come in a little later so they can get the kids off to school. But what I HATE is when they spend half the day huddled over their cell phones micromanaging their kids' lives! Good grief, if a kid is old enough to work a cell phone, he can figure out what to have for a snack after school! The cell phone thing is a real problem where I work. That's the biggest drain of productivity that we have.

And the kids coming to work with mom or grandma! That drives me nuts, too. We have a new person who thinks that a flower shop is a fun place for her 11-year-old to hang out. Never mind that she's in everybody's way! It's worse when the kids are younger, because they get very, very bored very, very quickly. (And don't get me started on the wet, slippery floors strewn with cast-off foliage! It's a lawsuit waiting to happen!) I don't know why mom or grandma thinks that a 5-year-old can come and stay at work with her for the afternoon. She's certainly not getting anything done because she's trying to keep the kid entertained!

Answer 18

I can see them having to take off to drop the kids off, they shouldn't get paid for it though, since int's on their break isn't it?

But, they have no right to be late, why?  Because they made a job commitment, if they need to, drop the child off earlier at whereever they needed to be.  The best thing would be to not have the kids in the first place, a lot of this single parenting stuff happens because people rush into a relationship.  

When you say working mother, do mean one that is single or married?  If they are married and too busy to hold a job thent hey shouldn't have a job.

Answer 19

Absolutely. The boss should say "Tell your husband to look after the kids and get back to work".

Of course, when he has no workers and no applicants for his crummy low paid no benefits jobs, maybe he can ask mercy of the lady at the welfare office.

Bosses who treats their employees like slaves end up with the worst employees, and that's why you have low productivity.

Cheers :-)

Answer 20

are you kidding me? i do agree that they shouldn't be late just because of having to drop their kid at daycare or school or whatever....they should leave earlier if they think they're going to be late. but i dont agree that they shouldn't be cut just a little bit of slack. anyone with children KNOWS that its a huge responsibility and random days off from work should be allowed due to doctors appointments and whatnot.

Answer 21

No kids right? I used to think it was all excuses until I actually had one. You obviously don't know the amt of work it takes to raise a child, and how they sometimes make you late no matter how early you plan to leave. And as a parent, they mean more to that child than they do to your company..Lack of productivity..when ya got kids running around and you actually pay attention to them instead of leaving them with a nanny or daycare etc, it cuts back on the time you have for YOURSELF.. you dont get in bed until late, and you dont always get everything done that you planned to...

You need to have a couple babies...

Answer 22

While I do agree that this is an often abused reason for poor work ethics, I also think that if employers started recognizing that family is usually the most important part of many people's live and encouraged healthy families through flexibility in scheduling, offering job sharing for working parents and other "family friendly" practices; they would have happier, healthier and more productive employees. Of course there are jobs that do not allow for this but many do and most corporations who do well take advantage of these psychological benefits. Even though it may cost a little extra the long term benefits to the company - more employee loyalty, company pride, fewer missed hours, healthier and longer lived employees - which in turn increases production and growth as well as the overall community - outweigh the cost.  

BTW : I know many working moms who work over-time to make up for missed hours and are excellent employees without whom, some businesses would suffer tremendously. I also know several men who's laziness, lack of prioritization and mishandling of their responsibilities has resulted in disaster.

ETA: Zena - The asker is Top Contributor for Singles & Dating. ;)

Answer 23

I've known childless women who kept taking time off so they could be with their dogs. Don't assume that because someone doesn't have children, that automatically makes that person career driven and very productive. It's not always true. People with children are often more responsible because they have other people they need to be concerned about. They know the consequences of not working is more disastrous for them than with a single and childless person who is only responsible for himself or herself.

Answer 24

This is why more workplaces should consider flextime; it works out for the employees, their children, and their bosses. They get the work done without having to punch in.

Answer 25

Because, in the long run, it's better for all concerned.

You don't want to be stressed out by the results of allowances being made. People who care enough to take time off to go to little Johnny's soccer are the ones whose children grow up to be useful human beings, not hooligans.

If you haven't had a toothache, consider yourself lucky.  Could you live with yourself if you knew that little Mary's toothache wasn't going to get dealt with during office hours. Could you work effectively with a person who knew that someone very dear to them was suffering, and they couldn't do a thing about it during regular office yours?

Is the work you are doing so vital that everone must be on deck at starting time? Regular tardiness suggests organizational problems which needs attention, but unless it's a business of urgency, why be tight***ed about it? There are too many stressed-out people behind the wheel. They are dangerous.

Particularly if you are childless, little Johnny and little Mary and others of the "spawn" are the ones who will be wiping your drooling mouth, or elsewhere, when you are too decrepit to do it for yourself.

You have a vested interest in the outcome.

Answer 26

Well, working fathers should do the same and support mothers on that duties.

Answer 27

they don't expect it.  They need it.  women are expected to be the care givers of society.  that means that we have other responsibilities besides our jobs.  What about the child's right to have a parent take care of them, and not a babysitter?  What about the child's right to have their parent's around?  Mothers are working because they want to and because they have to.  If they are charged with raising the next generation that will take care of you when you are older, why not make it a better environment?  And being a working mother does not mean that they lack productivity, it means that they are paid less for more more work.

Answer 28

because so many 'working' fathers do not leave the care of their children solely to their wives/spouses

Answer 29

"Expecting" and having "the right" to do these thinks sets the tone.  They have neither.

However, you sound pretty bitter and I have dealt with situations where I had working mothers who needed time out of the office for all of the reasons you mentioned above, and yes, I permitted them to do so most of the time.  The difference is that they ASKED, rather then "expected" and they were good, productive workers.  Those that complained about them "getting special treatment" weren't always the best employees.  My advice to them is to "do your job as if you are in a vacuum.  Do your best and don't base what you will and will not do on the behavior of others."  You'll save yourself a lot of stress and hassle that way.

I look at it this way:  At least she is trying to make a living and do right by her family and society.  What would you rather she do, sit on her *** in front of Oprah all day and collect welfare from the tax dollars that YOU and I pay from work?  I'd rather give her that shot.

On the other hand, I have also permitted fathers to leave early to go to a kid's baseball game or something too.  A good balance with family is a good balance with life.  (Which only makes for a better workplace and happier employees).

It's a delicate dynamic in the office these days, dude.  I hope you can come to terms with it.  Best of luck to you.

Answer 30

I can tell by most of the responses here that people today have an inflated sense of entitlement. Your employer has no responsibility for the care of your children. The minute you and your spouse decide to have children, these inevitable life circumstances become your problem to resolve. If you feel there may be an issue with your current employer, then you need to adjust your life to meet your children's needs. It's not your employer's responsibility to change his needs to meet yours. I know this is a new concept to young adults who have been raised in the comfort of moms house. My wife and I addressed this concern prior to having children. She only works part time and only when I am home. We felt it is was incumbent upon us to prioritize. We have three children and everything is going great.