Why do so many beautiful women have self esteem issues?

Question

Some of the most atractive people I know have very poor images of them self and fall into destructive patterns. Why is this?

Answer 1

Look at the covers of all the magazines on sale next time you go to the store. In today's society, women are pressured to fit a certain mold. You have to be beautiful, skinny, tall, graceful, etc etc etc.

Also, it's not a conscious thing, but a lot of people ASSUME incorrectly that if a woman is drop-dead gorgeous, that is all that she is. She can't be intelligent or witty or charming. Just a pretty face. In fact, i had a friend at university who had been a straight 4.0 student in highschool, she was the valedictorian, and we all thought she was not all there upstairs.... talking to her one day, we found out the 'dumb blonde' routine was all an act.... in her experience, guys didn't LIKE dating intelligent girls, just pretty ones. So she pretended to be something she wasn't.

We put pressure on girls to be a certain way from a fairly young age. You need to wear certain clothes brands to be popular, you need to act a certain way at school, you have to hang out with certain people. For some reason, this kind of pressure doesn't affect boys as severely, for the most part.  

Answer 2

Because we are objectified from a young age. I was told all I had going for me was beauty. The problem is everyone finds something different beautiful. No person can perfectly fit any one person's mold. To some, i am ideal because i am short and curvy. To others, I am not only undesirable, but would think I am too heavy.

Beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder. I grew up not liking myself very much, and now at the age of forty, can tell you honestly that not only do I like myself, I no longer want to look like a supermodel.

I realize that i do not fit any mold, and that is fine with me.

I hope the younger women of today can see what is in magazines is a false ideal. The women on the covers of these publications have the best hair makeup and lighting possible. Any one of us can look that good with the teams they have working on them

The real women ads by comanies like Dove are wonderful and we need more adverising with real women featured. I think it can only help.

Answer 3

the media!

Answer 4

A mixture of media, pop culture, & reinforcement (positive/negative) from childhood.

Answer 5

Media. Models. What Not to Wear. America's Next top Model. Covergirl. Playboy.

**** IT ALL.

That's why they've got themselves convinced they're not beautiful.

Answer 6

I've been told that I'm beautiful by men and women, and even when I was a child I was told that I was a beautiful child.  But compared to models and women in the media, I am average looking.

Answer 7

There are multiple reason but I will just mention the two most common... 1. They were not always so beautiful and havnt realized what they have become yet. 2. They have always been really beautiful and guys were intemidated by them so they didnt get as much attention as the simi pretty girls, so they never realized how desirable they are.  I have seen it happen more than once...  

Answer 8

I couldn't tell you.  I'm ugly.  But good question.

Now that I think of it, you know what they say tho, beauty is in the eye of the beer holder....

Answer 9

beauty and brains... both are required.

Answer 10

Sometimes people (no matter their looks) have had harmful experiences which may have developed certain mental and/or emotional issues within them. Such issues do not distinguish who is attractive and who is not, these are human experiences. And the way in which people deal with such issues are personal to each afflicted person.

Others allow themselves to be absorbed into a media-saturated culture that classifies and accepts certain people more than others, based on their appearance and external "assets", this happens with both men and women (there is a difference between discriminating against people -physically- and having personal preferences).

Others rely so heavily on their appearance and sexuality (for attention or control), but later realise that there are other areas lacking substance, such as: accountability for their words/actions, communication, kindness, work ethic, intellect, etc. While others are often minimised to their appearance, they may perceive that their outward features are what people are most interested in, not personal qualities and who they are as individuals.

And so on... there are different reasons for people experiencing this.

On a last note, beauty is relative to each person. What's beautiful to you, may be unattractive to me.

Answer 11

Speaking from experience....My mom always told me how fat, ugly and stupid I was growing up. Now that I'm adult, I can't take a compliment...I feel like I want to shrivel up and crawl in a hole and die.

Answer 12

In many ways, they will find that people are attracted to them because of their beauty rather than them as their own individual selves, their own unique personalities / characters. Believing that what you have around you is only skin deep is a scary thought because what is on the surface is only temporary and literally, skin deep. Things become superficial (even if they are truly genuine) and one ends up having to actively seek attention to maintain that attraction.  

The person inside is what matters. Seek to see the person within rather than the outside skin. It's the inside that matters. Believe in them in their unique abilities, their characters, their dreams, their hopes and fears. Tell them they have amazing talents, rather than they are beautiful.  

Answer 13

What is this, are you having a go at me?

and to think i've done nothing to you. why?