Why do so many brides tout their labels?

Question

Just a moment ago a question was deleted because someone was touting Tiffany's and bashing Wal-Mart, and other non-label jewelers. That person even went as far as to bash the non-label crowd, claiming they were envious of those who shopped at the top stores.

Why is that so many brides are worried about labels and designers? It seems to me that too many couples have lost sight of what the wedding represents. My engagement ring and our wedding shouldn't be a status symbol, but a representation of love, life, commitment, family, who we are as individuals, and who we are as a couple.

I worked at a jewelry store at one point, so I know quite a bit about jewelry, although I am admittedly no expert. My engagement ring came from Wal-Mart, and I don't see why I should be ashamed of it. My fiance' unknowingly chose the VERY one I wanted, so to me that matters so much more than any label that could be slapped on it.

Tiffany and Wal-Mart share many of the same diamond mines, so what people fail to see is that if Wal-Mart sucks, so does Tiffany. My ring isn't perfect (it has a small inclusion that the sales person graciously pointed out to my fiance'), but neither are we, so it's perfect for us.

What my ring symbolizes matter so much more to me than any materialistic aspect. My best friend got her ring from Tiffany's and after a few months she had lost a diamond and the white gold was turning colors. I have had my Wal-Mart ring for a year and have had no issues with it. My ring was $210, our gorgeous garden wedding $5,000. I'm actually proud that we have enough sense to save our cents.

How many brides out there feel the same?

P.S. Don't report his question, because I am not bashing that other user, or even giving her SN. I'm simply wondering about the questions hers raised.

Answer 1

Because they are immature and probably shouldn't be getting married if all they care about is the ring. jmho

I also think its a sign of insecurity, somehow they are 'better' or 'happier' because they have a giant diamond...

It's much like the logic that the 'wedding' is not what makes the marriage, The ring does not make the marriage. Many brides these days seem in it for the diamond and the party, not the lifelong commitment.  

Answer 2

Weddings are no different than any other aspect of life, except the sheer arrogance and portrayal of status is apparently needed to host a wedding.

Everyone wants their once in a life time opportunity to go all out and they throw sincerity and humility out the door. I can't say that I'm perfect but the sad reality is that people are obsessed with material things and certain occasions bring the worst out of most.

All the best.

Answer 3

Some can afford more, some can afford less - it's that simple.

The couple chooses the type/style of wedding they want, number of guests they can afford, location, rings, etc. - according to how their lives are at the time.

I fear you are doing exactly what you initially started your complaint with - so it's reverse prejudice on your part. If someone can afford Tiffany's, let them - it should be no skin off your nose. It's no less a symbol to them as your WalMart ring is for you. My rings are modest, but reflect what was going on at the time - my husband chose them, and they are totally beautiful. We had a blow out, very expensive (to some) wedding day, because it was our choice, and we wanted to host over 200 people to a wonderful celebration! Others don't want to, or simply can't do that - well we could. We scrimped in other ways - didn't have a honeymoon, for example.

We don't know one another personally on here, so we can only take at face value what one says in print - and all inferences are ours.

So don't let things like this niggle at you - and you will be happier!

Answer 4

I completely agree with you. My ring is not from the most expensive store around, it's not even from a really known store- but i love it and I love my fiance. Imagine the money that people pay for engagment rings could put a downpayment on a house, or a car. Which is exactly what my fiance did he brought me a unique low priced ring and a month after getting engaged we put a downpayment on our house. I really appreciated that you took the time to say something about the other person's wrong doing in trying to put people down for being sensible in buying a ring.

Answer 5

I think the rise of shows like MTV's My Sweet 16 and some of the popular wedding shows that glorify the "platinum" wedding are partially to blame.  It gives viewers the impression that "over the top" and "the sky's the limit" party planning is the norm.  This along with the idea growing up that if your shoes aren't from a certain maker, your jeans not a certain designer etc. that somehow you are "less" than someone else.  And that having these "things' somehow makes you somebody.  Its all about what you have these days instead of who you are.

Answer 6

For the same reason that they wear white, release doves, have chair covers, etc.: we have been trained to believe that the bigger and flashier the better.

For people who believe that spending more money for the name, the classification, etc. is important, this place, where some people don't care about labels requires them to argue that caring about these labels is important. After all, otherwise they've wasted their money.  

Answer 7

I don’t think is so much about touting retailers as it is about what’s important to you.  If you don’t mind sacrificing choices & service to save money, there’s nothing wrong with Wal-Mart. If you want to have choices & someone to service your ring after the fact, Wal-Mart isn’t the place for you.

Wal-Mart capitalizes on the fact that if you’re price sensitive (i.e. don’t want to spend much) that you won’t mind a reduced selection & no after sales service. It doesn’t appear to me that you can go to Wal-Mart and pick a setting & then the specific stone you want in that setting. It’s all pre-made. They had maybe 1/10 of the choices my jeweler offered.  I only saw white gold, not platinum. This sort of limited selection might appeal to a certain segment of the market, but certainly not to all of us.  

I am also under the impression that Wal-Mart does not provide you any service like resizing, cleaning, prong tightening, etc. after you buy. I don’t know about you, but I will not buy a piece of fine jewelry and then tolerate having to find & pay my own vendor for these essential services. A good jeweler includes these for FREE.  

Neither Wal-Mart nor Tiffany’s actually own diamond mines.  90% or more of the mines in the world are owned by DeBeers (the A Diamond is Forever people), and then jewelers buy the stones from them. I’m not saying you can’t get a decent piece of jewelry at Wal-Mart, just that they don’t offer enough value for me. (Value doesn’t mean low price, it’s about what I get for my money)

Answer 8

The quality of a diamond is more about education than retailer, as you know having worked for a jeweler. If you are properly educated about diamonds you should be able to make a quality decision despite where it comes from. I personally only use a private jeweler. He is an importer, my family has known him forever and we have always had the best service and quality. The most important thing (with ANY buesiness dealing!) is that you get what you pay for. Paying for a name on a ring box is like buying jeans that don't fit just because they say such-and-such on the tag, it makes no sense! I agree that most jewelers share diamond mines so the diamonds tend to be from the same places.

Some people feel the need to flaunt a name on a tee shirt, jeans, etc. I for one buy what fits, what I like and is in my budget. I don't understand the name game but probably because I was never brought up to value a "name", I was brought up to value everything I am gracious enough to have and to give everything I have with my whole heart.

As for weddings, they are very personal events. I have been to amazing small weddings and amazing huge extravagant weddings. When it comes down to it, most of the decisions were personal preference of the bride and groom. My theory is that you should do what you feel is most meaningful to you. Marriage is about the two of you joining in an impenetrable bond in the eyes of God (my opinion). How you celebrate that union is up to you. I don't feel one way or the other about costs. If a couple can afford an extravagent wedding, good for them. If they want a small, simple ceremony and reception, that's just fine. You should never go into debt for something tangible or intangible that you don't necessarily need but that's a financial responsibility issue and it applies to cars, houses, tattoos, haircuts, clothing - everything, not just weddings.

In short (wow this got long quickly!) I agree, it's not about the names. It's about the union and the covenant. Sadly, not everyone sees it that way.

Answer 9

I think some people are just like that in general.

I don't know what store my rings are from originally (they are heirlooms) and I couldn't care less.I also couldn't care less where other people get their rings. Sure, I am not a big fan of Wal-Mart (because of how their workers are treated) but their diamonds are still diamonds! It is shallow to bash something just because of the store it's from.

Answer 10

I agree. very well put

Answer 11

I would have to agree for the most part, especially when it comes to jewelry. Tiffany's is NOT better overall in quality it is the name. As with many things in the world.

I do agree about quality of other items though, clothing for one. I do like higher quality clothing as the fibers used are better but I have no shame in the fact that I have made plenty of clothing purchases at Walmart and other non label retailers.

It's funny about people.... those that have to have name brand everything don't realize the same thing with the label is usually made the same place as the non label.

Great example- I picked up a pair of genero Crocs at Walmart for $6 for gardening. I was suprised by the comfort as I also have a real pair of Crocs. Funny thing is they were both made in China! Same with Old Navy flip flops- made in China.

My Levi shorts that I bought at Dillards a couple of weeks ago- made in China. The jeans I bought for my daughter at Limited Too, guess what not made in America!  But those same people that will only buy Labels bash Walmart to no end about their products coming from China.

I believe the same goes for many Top Label items, people just don't realize it.

Back to jewelry, you can get the same quality at Walmart, if people only knew and educated themselves instead of just trusting a name. Let it be their own stupidity.

Those that only have to have labels and nothing else need it because they do not have enough character as a person  to be just as great a person without them. It's truly sad. I have had things in both ends of the spectrum and while some of the the higher end names have  worked out great I have had just as many high end items that were flat out c**p.

Weddings are the same. Some people have to have huge showy things to impress others and those are usually the ones that end in divorce 5 years later because their priorities were never straight to begin with.

Answer 12

it is like you grew up eating potatoes and labelers grew up eating eggplant.  you become fond of what is familiar to you and in your circle of friends and family and cannot even understand why others dont feel or think the same way as you.  religion and culture is the same.  even you will come to face times when your husband thinks differently than you on one or more subjects.    it is difficult for many people to view all things in the world as everyone does.  we are like minded on some things but each person has an individual life experience.  mind you...if you could notice, look and feel and wear a pricey label...you can understand the quality....as far as 'who' designed it...that extra price comes with demand and availability and popularity.  the artist is revered for his/her work.  a wedding dress is a work of art. :)  

edit:  you can purchase a copy of a michael angelo or a van gogh...but it is not the same...the strokes of the artists spirit is not in the print...it is in the brushstrokes.  psssss

Answer 13

They are just insecure and somehow a ring from Tiffany's aids in making them a better person. Its sad.

For me, I was more excited over getting our marriage license rather than picking out the wedding bands. I am getting married to spend the rest of my life with the man I love, not to flaunt over priced rings.

A better ring doesn't make for a better marriage, just a superficial one.

Answer 14

My husband bought my engagement ring and wedding band from an online jeweler that makes lab created diamonds. They are real diamonds they are just not mined and you don't have to worry about "conflict" and "blood" diamonds. I love mine and it was a tenth of the price as a mined diamond! I am not ashamed at all. I do not see the point in spending thousands of dollars on a ring when you can put that money elsewhere.

Our wedding cost about 5000 dollars and it was exactly what we wanted. I refused to get caught up in the perfect wedding according to society.

We did what we wanted and loved every moment of our DIY wedding!

Answer 15

Honestly, some people just love material things and they feel better about themselves by putting others down.

And, frankly, some people are just snobs.

Answer 16

Too many people equate self worth with how much something cost, or how many 'status' items they can accumulate.

It reminds me of the time one of my kids as a teenage was grousing because I could, as a single mother, only afford to buy them generic jeans instead of designer label ones....

I told her 'If anyone's name is gonna be on your butt, it's gonna be mine'.

She didn't laugh.

When the average Joe Schmoe on the street stops being impressed by things and starts being impressed by people and their actions, then maybe this obsession over Tiffany, etc....will stop....ya know what impresses me? Not the fact someone pays out thousands of dollars for a name, as it has nothing to do with quality, but someone who gets the same quality and saves some serious bucks. After all, what's so impressive in adding to a company's over-inflated profits? Maybe that's what they should be bragging about... I can just hear the conversation..

'Oh Look Allison, Alphonse just proposed and gave me this 2 carat diamond engagement ring...he got it from Tiffany's!"

'Oh, wow! Why he must really love you girl, to put that much money in the pockets of the CEO's! Wish I was as lucky as you!"

"Oh yes after all what gal wouldn't want her guy to contribute to some executive's cruise to the Bahamas....and I bet it contributed to a yacht ,too, And Al gets to pay for YEARS on it....I'm soooooo lucky....oh there's Sally, poor dear, her guy got her a diamond from Wal-Mart,,,guess he thinks she's only worth some CEO's weekend trip to the Poconos, poor girl".....

lol....

Answer 17

Well, you as a sociology and psych student focus on the meaning behind the object, more than the object itself, fair enough.

Me as a design student, I focus on the quality of the object, as well as what it represents (my engagement).  

Now for me, it isn't so much an issue of which label, per se, but of quality and beauty in a ring that I'll be wearing probably for the rest of my life.  

Now, I don't know what Wal-Marts in the US offer, but the Wal-Marts where I live have the worst selection of rings available, and they LOOK cheap.  I don't care so much if a ring is cheap, in fact thats a benefit, but I definitely don't want something that looks like it.

The raw fact is, that brands like Tacori and Tiffany & Co.  put a lot of work into their designs to make them absolutely stunning and top of the line, they spend so much time on them which is why they charge so much.  Wal-Mart's suppliers don't take the time, the product isn't as good (objectively), which is why they are cheaper.  

Personally I'm happy with what my fiance gave me, and I'm definitely happy that he spent what he could afford to at the time, and didn't "cheap out".  Sound shallow?  Again, I will wear this forever, so I think thats fair.  I buy him a new watch every couple of years, and they range in value from $100-$900.  So to me, thats equal.

Now what irks me, is people saying that those who like labels are "shallow" or "greedy" or "immature", and that labels represent the 'expensive' and 'unnecessary'.

I see this becoming a major problem in society, because as I explained, labels represent quality, not price.  

If we raise our children to believe that labels and good design are NEGATIVE things, and things to be ashamed of, then our society will regress, because spatial design has a lot to do with society, culture, and our personal safety in public areas.  So if we're raising our children with the mentality that labels/expensive things are bad and unnecessary, then future generations will continue to take the shortcuts for building and planning our communities.  Such as, having only an engineer sign off on the structural elements of a building, but not having an architect sign off on it.  Architects have knowledge about environmental pyschology, engineers have knowledge only about structures.  It is acceptable to build without knowing the environmental and emotional implications a building will have, but not to build something structurally unsound.  I'm just trying to say the two should be equal, ideally.

Your mentality of "good enough" is unfortunately shared among too many people, which is why there is a lack of quality items, and the ones that are, are so damned expensive!  While that may be so in the case of a ring (for you at least), because it has no practical function, thats not how it should be for most other things.

And also, in terms of prices, you're proud of an economical $5000 wedding, thats good.  But people have different priorities.  A lot of people view a wedding as not just a celebration of their love for one another, but as a chance to get all of your family and friends together for one big, beautiful party, with all the fixings.

For me at least, I'd like a nice wedding, because I only get to do it once, and I definitely want it to be memorable.  Right now we don't have the financial means, so we're waiting.  

Answer 18

AMEN!!! You have hit on a truly profound problem with the entire culture we live in. If it doesn't have the right label it isn't good enough for people - to the point that kids are being beat up or shot for the shoes on their feet !!! If a young girl doesn't have the 'right' clothes she is snubbed by those deemed by themselves to be better, and while few will rise above it many will suffer from low self esteem issues for many years due to the teasing and harassment.

I am proud of you and the others like you that wear their 'non-labels' proudly and loudly.  

Answer 19

Completely agree. As for those idiots who think you won't go with something inexpensive if you "know quality" - well, okay, I guess my opinion about their opinion is already clear.

I know quality. I also know waste. And I'm not about to pay for waste or encourage my fiance to do so.

The idea that those of us on smaller budgets are jealous? Soooo insulting. I'm sure some are, but I'm certainly not. If I wanted a lot of extraneous puffery I probably would be, but my style is more streamlined in general, and I despise excess, so there you go.

I also worked in a jewelry store at one time. The markup is crazy!

Answer 20

I think that "Yaknow" hit the nail on the head.  Those who have experienced quality, understand it...those who have not, do not.  

I am not ashamed of the question that I had previously posted (I would feel worse about myself if I was a "tattle tale")...I was trying to make those aware (who are not already) that buying "Tiffany" is not only buying the name...but, more importantly, the quality.  When someone has a "Tiffany" ring (or the like), you know that it is not a cheap/bad stone...the quality is wonderful.  When someone has a diamond from other stores (now I understand why *you* were so offended), you know that the quality is not up to par with that of, say, Tiffany.

I even stated that my ring did not come from Tiffany.  I was simply stating that having a "Tiffany" diamond means that you pay for more than just the name.

As with everything though, you get what you pay for.  If you had ever, in your entire life, experienced good quality, you would be able to understand.

Answer 21

Diamonds are diamonds. Gold is gold.

You can get a sucky ring from a good jeweler and a nice one from a mass merchant.  You have to know what you are buying that's all.

My ring isn't even from a store, my husband designed it and he asked a relative to make it for us.  The diamond was acquired from a whoesaler where my husband was allowed to look at it under a microscope to make sure he understood the nature of the stone. I am not ashamed of that.

Answer 22

Well, this is a rather exceptional example, but one of Lyndon B. Johnson's daughters, who got married while her father was president, advised Jenna Bush, when she recently got married, to pay attention to the label on her dress and make sure that it was American made. In these cases, it was the press and the public that were expected to fixate on the label and as a result, the bride felt she had to also, for political reasons. So that's one reason.

Answer 23

Everything is about status to some people, and everything is amplified with weddings. There are a lot of people spending a LOT of money to make sure the brides keep thinking "It's MY day and it will be PERFECT". To a lot of people, perfect means impressive, and Tiffany’s will impress strangers more than Wal-Mart. The people that are more concerned with labels and impressing people aren't really focusing on the marriage, and they are in for trouble once the honeymoon is over.

My fiancé proposed with no ring, and it is a very good thing he did. I convinced him that his savings would be better spent on our future house than on a ring, and I didn't want a big showy ring anyways. I never wear jewelry, and since I work in healthcare I want to have the option of wearing my ring to work without having to worry about busting gloves and cutting people. I chose a very pretty platinum band with small channel set diamonds and sapphires for $500. It suits my tastes and lifestyle, and I love it. I asked a question here with a picture about getting it appraised because of my paranoia that we had been ripped off (http://answers.yahoo.com/question/answer... you actually answered it), and people had the nerve to flat out say that it was not an engagement ring. It is not traditional, but if it was given to me because of our engagement how is it not an engagement ring?

I want to have our wedding in a butterfly conservatory with about 60 guests. I am hoping to keep the budget around $5,000 though it is a few years off it will probably go higher with inflation. I don't want to spend more than $500 on my wedding dress (again, inflation might mess that up). It will be beautiful and personal without putting us in debt. I don't want to regret not celebrating our wedding the way I wanted, but I am more concerned with getting our house built than impressing people.

Answer 24

Its the same reason why some women have to have a "Coach" purse that costs hundreds of dollars vs. a purse from Wal-Mart or Target that is just as nice and functional for 25 dollars. Or why some women (and men too!) have to have expensive brand name clothing or other items. Some people are just immature and its like a status symbol to them. They like to brag and it makes them feel important. It's very junior high. I also have a Wal-Mart ring. We looked everywhere to pick out my ring together because we basically decided we wanted to get engaged and he wanted to get the ring that I would love. I saw a ring that I loved at a jewelry store for 1400 dollars and he was willing to buy it for me (he had just gotten his first out of college job and saved every penny to buy me a ring) but I couldn't justify it when I knew he needed to buy himself a car. Well, we went to Wal-Mart and saw the exact same ring except it had a BIGGER diamond and more stones PLUS it came with a matching wedding band with many diamonds all over it for 700 dollars. I loved that ring and knew the moment I saw it that it was the one for me. He bought it for me and I ended up getting a much bigger diamond AND a matching wedding band with diamonds for half of what it would have cost for the enagment ring with a smaller stone at the fancy store. He used the rest of the money for a downpayment on his car. I think brides are very smart to go to places like Wal-Mart, Target or KMart (I think Wal-mart has the best rings for the best prices though) or even somewhere like JC Penny instead of the big fancy stores. My wedding is going to cost about the same amount as yours so I know where you are coming from. It just makes sense not to go over board.

PS. Email me a pic of your ring! I wanna see!

ADD: Wal-Mart DOES offer services for your ring like resizing. They don't do it in store for you but they will send it away and have it done, you just have to show that you bought if from a Wal-Mart. I've had mine resized and when they resized it, they accidently knocked a diamond out but they fixed that too. Very good service.