Why do so many men only value a woman for her...?

Question

looks, body and reproductive capacities?

I asked a question earlier about what men love about women and so many answers talked about her body and her sexual attractiveness.

Why aren't women given more value for our intelligence and personal qualities rather than just how often we want s*x and how many babies we can push out?

Answer 1

It's because both men and women allow this to happen. As long as men are raised to see women as sexual objects, their going to put value on them based on their looks. And as long as women are raised to seek constant attention and compliments on their looks 24/7, women are going to continue presenting themselves as sexual objects.  

Answer 2

Not necessarily, it depends on the man. If he is like a caveman then of course but a gentleman is interested in far more than looks & body, those are added bonuses.

Answer 3

The human animal is attentive to appearance and bearing, which can reveal much about a person: health, social status, and all the little unconscious cues we give about our general disposition and level of confidence. If these are attractive enough to someone, they'll get in touch and *then* find out more, to see if there is real potential for a relationship, of if it is just a passing fancy.

We don't know about the important stuff just by looking. At a distance, nobody can take a peek and say "wow, what a great I.Q. they have." But they can tell if they have great skin, a symmetrical face, nice clothes, a confident stride, etc.

That doesn't make people--male or female--into knuckle-dragging troglodytes. It just means they aren't telepathic. ;-)

Answer 4

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus.  It goes both ways tho, your physically attracted to your mate, just like your mate is to you.  I highly doubt many men are interested in reproductive capacities.  They hardly want to know about periods.  If the men you are dating only value you for your looks, maybe its time to try dating other men.  My boyfriend of 3 years tells me all the time that he loves how smart I am, how I enjoy reading for fun, that I have a bangin' body and that I take care of wifey duties.  I don't feel invalued.  

Answer 5

Most men value women for whatever they have to offer.  If a man only appreciates a woman for her looks and body, then it's probably all she has to offer.  And sorry, but that's most women - they think they are more special than they really are, complain too much, ask stupid questions, etc.  If a woman truly is intelligent (not just someone who thinks she is, but really is not), she will be MUCH appreciated, but an intelligent woman is hard to find.  

And I don't know any men who care, at all, about how many babies she can have.  I doesn't sound like you really know what you're talking about.

Answer 6

I dont really go for looks but who the woman is on the inside.

I did with my last gf ans she cheated. She was not the best looking woman but I did not care. I liked her like that. She could not see that so I had to leave her.

I guess women do the same to men in a way also. Some women only continue to be with a guy for looks,money,p***s size,etc....

Guys tend to be more visual. Not all but a lot are.

Answer 7

What else is there?(lol/jk:)

She better be able to cook and clean also!

Answer 8

Sounds like you just haven't found that type of guy. I think that it's a harsh generalization to say that ALL men do that. I don't. I think that some of the most physically attractive women in the world, have the ugliest personalities. Tyra Banks for instance brings people onto her show--the only talk show host I know to do this--and follows the responses of the majority of her audience. If they say, "oh she's so wrong Tyra." Tyra just agrees with it nonchalantly and tries to play it off like, 'oh I know people, because I was a model and they are REAL people.' Gimme a break. She's a follower. Then there are women that you see everyday, no intelligence, money-hungry, can't-find-a-job type women who just want to pursue a career in purchasing c**p when their husbands work a 12 hour/day break-neck job to support their habits. I find that 97% of the women that are in the mall may be pretty, but lack in character. Then, the real women are at home, hoping that some day their prince charming will come knock on their door because they've had bad experiences with men that were--like you said--just looking for s*x. The ones who really deserve a chance, but because they don't have a pant size in the negative numbers and a bra size in the lower half of the alphabet, she can't get a date. BS!!! How conditioned are some people's perception of beauty. . .

Answer 9

Because that is the initial attraction. Just because someone says that does not mean that is all they look for. We are genetically wired to see the beauty in the opposite s*x.

And when women get all dressed up for a night on the town they are showing how much they value those assets as well.

Answer 10

You are not a man, anyways, so to make this assumption when you have a v****a is ludicrous, because you wouldn't know. Besides, even if you were a man, you still would not be able to read other peoples minds.

FAIL!

Next please.

Answer 11

I value women for their natural curiosity, their wit, kindness and companionship.

The other stuff comes second.

Answer 12

not being rude but why dont more women wear the clotheing that makes other not want to **** them?.. I am sure all reading this have been to a mall on the weekend and see the hoocheis. Guys get stuck on the outside when we see skin. Our little preprogrammed brain finds the sexual first and we get overloaded.

Answer 13

It is part of the equation. There has to be physical attraction or it just wont work out. That said even if a women was the most beautiful women on the planet if she had a lousy personality and was smart as a brick no way.

     But us guy's standard of beauty is no where near the over the top message Hollywood sends.

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Most research done on relationship's pretty much say's that for a healthy relationship the women should be more attractive then the man.

    Might not be true all the time but if your having trouble finding a mate lower your standards=problem solved.

Might sound cruel but  a Buick doesn't equal a Porsche

Answer 14

People get valued for what they are good at, women are good at looking hot!

Answer 15

How come women always say stuff like eyes, strength, intelligence, funny, but never say too much about the man's butt, pecs, broad shoulders? I always see women answer like that when responding about what women love about men. A lot of men actually do love the other qualities of women, but let's face it, it's the physical or lust that attracts a man first and makes him want to know more about the girl.  

Answer 16

It depends on the society, like women are often projected as a thing of pleasure and her status remains like that,merely an object of desire

To a certain extent, women themselves are responsible for this(think of anorexic models), there are more women getting success & fame based on their looks(models, actress etc) and lesser in other fields(polictics /doctors/ engineers/ social workers).

Its the glamour thats always hyped !

But on the other side, i think the first thing that a man looks for in a woman is her appearance, though it is not the most important thing for him to get committed to her.

There are surely men, who value a women for her inner beauty & strength rather than just physical appearance.

Answer 17

Well of course those are the answers you'll get on an online forum. It's all basically anonymous and people feel more comfortable giving the answer that would make them look like a jerk in real life.

If you asked a man in person he would say intelligence, kindness etc.

The truth however, lies in the middle of these two extremes.

Answer 18

Well I'm involved with a girl who is pretty, but I'm mostly interested in her because she interesting, eccentric, nice, thoughtful, empathetic, and has a unique personality. And oh yea, the values of a relationship in our society are particularly debased and supersaturated with sexuality. I hope you measure you relationships in true love as well.

Later

Answer 19

"Given" more value? Why don't women "show" more value before asking for it to be given in return? It's noone's responsibility to give you anything.

Answer 20

Because that's what makes a woman attractive. That's what makes a woman different than a man.

Why would a man be attracted to qualities in a WOMAN that are also very common in MEN?

Thats just g*y....

Answer 21

i think it depends on who responded 2 ur 1st post "what men love about women" the younger the guy the more the physical and sexual assets play into their wants. i have found that older the guy, especially once they get into their late 20's and 30's the more they appreciate a woman with intelligence and those personal qualities that support a relationship beyond the physical and sexual.

in the real world it also depends where u meet a guy of interest.

bars and clubs only require one thang, aggregation pheromones :oP

Answer 22

It's the exact same thing on the other foot. Would you want a relationship with the fat kid in the nerd glasses, or would you find the football star more appealing. Men are sexual creatures and enjoy the thought of being with a really good looker.  

Answer 23

I think it depends upon the man. There are many out there who do value intelligence and education in addition to being normal looking...you don't have to be a Barbie doll to attract men.  

Answer 24

People value whatever is meaningful to them for a friend, lover or partner, and in my opinion - that's just normal, human nature. Everyone has their own preferences. We are inclined towards what we find appealing.

That being said, I don't think that many men are only concerned with the physical. Naturally, it is part of attraction and mating/reproduction, but men also have common sense, logic, standards and a level of tolerance (each, his own). In many cases (not always), if her personality and company are detestable, it would not compensate for her lovely appearance.

I'm a woman and there are qualities that I enjoy about particular women I know, such as their intelligence, creativity, sense of humour, assertiveness... but I will also side with whomever mentioned physical attraction.

The mind (views, intelligence) and personality are discovered during interaction.

Physical appearance is what attracts initially...intelligence and other qualities are what maintain/increase or decrease interest in that person.

There are also individuals whom one is not initially attracted to, but their personality, intellect, etc, makes them attractive or interesting.

Edit: Haha! Amusing, Johno. And I agree with CAustin.

Answer 25

According my thought women should give  more value  Intellingence and personal qulalities it's best choice.

Answer 26

why can't women value men more than their paycheck?

men are the more evolved genders,women need to grow up.

Answer 27

Because the outside is the first thing you see and it's what leaves a lasting impression...

Answer 28

The key word in your question is 'only,' which makes it false in almost all cases, I think.  Even the shallowest of men don't care ONLY about a woman's personal appearance - they have to have an at least tolerable personality, and even shallow people prefer the company of those who are compatible with them, even if it's not their top priority.

But I think you'll find an absence of men on the other end of the spectrum, too - no one factors appearance out of the equation entirely.  On a basic level, for there to be serious attraction (as opposed to just-friends-okay-maybe-a-pity-date kind of attraction) there needs to be chemistry, which is heavily based on appearance as well as certain mannerisms which are equally inconsequential to personality.  While it might arguably* be nice to say that one didn't factor in appearance to how much one valued a partner at all, really that's never the case, and the only people who say it is are either trying to spare someone's feelings or snare someone's interest long enough to get laid.

Realistically, everyone considers appearance, because chemistry plays a role in every serious relationship.  Being 'shallow' is just not considering a whole lot else in addition to appearance.

*(I say 'arguably' because certain aspects of appearance, like health and fitness, are actually excellent barometers of important personality characteristics like how well a person commits to long-term, difficult goals and their degree of self-control - so taking someone's appearance into account in that sense can be a very non-shallow thing to consider.)