Why do so many mothers judge and assume?

Question

I've come across this more than once...that mothers come on here and ask a question just so they can spout their agenda and tell others they are misinformed. Why is it that people assume they know more than another and that if you disagree with them than you are less intelligent. It's a scary thought that some of the mothers I've read on here are actually raising their children to be so judgemental and quick to put down others.

Breastfeeding, vaccines, sleep solutions, discipline....all these issues are often met with such hostility. This is an open forum...opinions are the norm. I don't understand why someone would ask a question just to "teach" someone else....seems a bit patronizing. Any opinions...lol!

Answer 1

The parenting section is tame.  You should see the religion discussions and the politics questions.

Total anonymity tends to take the filters off of what people would say to you in real life.  On the internet, everyone is an expert and people need to hear what they have to say.

There's also an element of passive aggressive fishing for validation by people who ask questions about doing stupid things (feeding babies candy springs to mind).  There's always someone who is going to tell them that the doctor is an idiot and feeding babies anything you want is ok.  The person who responds that, no, this is not ok, stop being an idiot and listen to your doctor, is evil and judgmental.  

Um. no.

If you are looking for a supportive environment in which to discuss parenting issues, I would suggest moderated message boards where you can get to "know" people (as much as that's possible on the nets) and people who don't play by the warm and fuzzy rules are banned.  I think iVillage has boards like that.

Edited to answer:  Yeah, I figured as much.  I'm not warm and supportive with people who do stupid things (like feeding kids under 2  peanut butter).  That was the post that prompted mine. Petty? Maybe.  Do I care? Not one little bit.

Edited to answer again: OMG!  I'm sorry!  I thought for sure you were talking about my question where I was so frustrated with the peanut butter mom.  The other lady doesn't bother me too much.  I know what it's like to in her situation.  I was probably the same way once upon a time.  :D

Answer 2

because doctors are STUPID and don't know anything, don't ask a doctor because they are all out to get us and harm our children, doctors are part of a conspiracy to end life as we know it...

instead get on the internet and get REAL advice as we must not trust the medical community and if you listen to a doctor you MUST be a dolt!

Answer 3

I notice I get an incredible amount of thumbs down for very bland statements of fact, so some people are probably reading a little too much into some answers...

"[Here is an excerpt from a study done on the subject in question]" is not "judgmental."

Answer 4

This is an open forum, but there are many misinformed Moms.  It's not just Mom's either, it's these 14 year year old girls asking if they can get pregnant from dry humping???  There is a HUGE lack of education in todays society.  

Answer 5

I agree. I usually ignore them though. People like that just want attention.

Answer 6

yes, i understand where you are coming from.  the fact is it is not just online.  some mothers are really like this. i actually stay away from many of the "hot topics."  i don't like to get into all that.  

the fact is i do have my opinions, but i usually don't say anything.  i have friends with kids and many times i don't agree with their parenting.  i keep it to myself though, because i know everyone has their own ways of doing things.  if the child is happy and healthy... there shouldn't be any questions of parenting... what works for some doesn't work for others.

Answer 7

well, when we ask a question, we ask a opinion and we need to take the good with the bad. i agree some people are just plain rude and being respectful doesnt take much. however, this is an open forum, and people can say what they wish within reason. but some people intentionally answer to preach, bully and be rude.

Answer 8

i like this site because i like to hear person experiences from real mothers and get tips from them. i absolutely hate when i get called an idiot or a bad mother because i do something different from the next mother.  

Answer 9

"I don't understand why someone would ask a question just to "teach" someone else...."

Ummmmm  . . . . isn't that kind of what you're doing here??  Preaching that mothers shouldn't be so preachy in the guise of a question . . . lol!

Answer 10

AMEN!!!  I'm my mother's oldest child (there are 6 of us, plus one step sister, my youngest sibling is an 8 year old brother!) and am pregnant with my fourth child.

Here's what I've learned in my short 27 years:  no two families are alike, and no two children in each family are alike.  Just because I think something is right for any of my children, or myself, doesn't mean it's right for anyone else or their children.  What works for me works for me, and what works for you works for you.

But, yeah, opinions shouldn't be touted as "perfect" knowledge or intelligence.  It's when we refuse to learn anything new that we show our true ignorance!

Answer 11

idk....i wonder the same thing.....but i usually take the advice of some moms cuz i havent had alot of experience with babies except mine, so i dont know when to start potty training, or when they should start talking, im completely clueless, so i like that advice about average time a baby should progress......................but i do hate when mothers critique other mothers on what they think is the best way to raise a child, or talk alot of c**p on moms for doing things differently.....too me if the child and mom are happy and nothing abusive is going on then i don't see why people can't do what they want.  

Answer 12

Im noy preaching but Proverbs says there is wisdom in many counselers So I agree somme are bossy and over opinionated still it is up to you to read and decide like take a little bit from a and some from b and sort it out sorry don't mean to bej uppitty but it is up to you