Why do so many older women find their identity in talking about their children and grandchildren?

Question

It gets so old and boring to me. I am not cruel but I want to talk to a woman one on one.

Answer 1

Well I see what you're saying, but kids are a major part of a woman's identity sometimes. Try not to let it bother you. Just politely steer the conversation in another direction.  

Answer 2

That's like something my daughter said once, a farm girl.  She said, "I want to date ranchers but I want to find one who doesn't ever talk about cows."  lol.    She wasn't really interested in trying to connect one-on-one with them because that's how we connect with people, we talk about what's important in each other's lives and find initimacy in that sharing.  She wanted the emotional intimacy without doing her share of appreciating the man's reality, which meant, she wanted the guys to listen to HER reality and leave their reality out of it.

Answer 3

They gave up on their hopes and dreams by having kids, and now they are living vicariously through their kids. You're right, it's very boring. I work with all mothers and grandmothers, and it gets really old hearing about the kids all the time. Most of them have no clue what's going on in the rest of the world, unless it's that trashy TV show Swing Town.

Answer 4

Some women consider raising their children in a quality manner, along with making a nice home for their family far more important than your job as a receptionist or telemarketer

Answer 5

Well that is what is going on in their lives and family is what we all have in common.  But they probably think whatever you talk about is boring as well...."been there, done that" so to speak.

Answer 6

I agree. I think it would be much more interesting for them to talk about other interests, hobbies, community involvement...anything. I don't mind people talking about their families, however when someone just talks about their family it does give me the impression that they had to give up something else in their lives (another interest) because their family is everything to them. For some people, their dream is to raise a family, however, I never cared to, so I can't really relate to those people at all, unless maybe they're looking for a babysitter.

Answer 7

I'd rather hear them talking about their children and grandchildren than to hear about their latest operations or how much pain they are in. At least, when they talk about their families, they're talking about something positive rather than negative.

Answer 8

Because most older women devoted their lives to raising children and being housewives.

As their best achievement is reproduction they generally talk about their kids and grandkids.

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Answer 9

Don't be too hard on them. For most people, their kids are the most important things in their lives. They take much more joy in them and the things they do than politics, jobs, money, religion, etc. and there is nothing wrong with that.

Say something like "Hey your kids/grandkids sound great but I was wondering what you thought about this or what would you do in this situation?"

There are a lot of very easy ways you can get someone to talk about a different subject without being rude.

Answer 10

If they're anything like my grandma, they don't do much. It's mostly go to church, work on a hobby, read...meanwhile their grandkids are active and doing all kinds of cool things. They're proud of their offspring.

Answer 11

I think older people are reminded of their own mortality as they deal with losses (the loss of their friends, looks, career, vitality, etc.) They are comforted, whether it is a conscious acknowledgment or not, by the fact that they can live on in a sense via their progeny, children and grandchildren. This is especially a source of pride for women because they are generally the primary caregivers (especially in past generations) so they have more pride when they turn into well adjusted adults. Just my opinion.

Answer 12

When most people die regardless of gender...children are the biggest mark on the world you can make.  You might not have done much but it's a guarantee if you have kids (and they do and they do, etc) that one of your descendants will.

Answer 13

I can talk to you one on one about anything you want, politics, psychology, sociology or anything else.  I am interested in most anything, but my first priority is my family and it always will be.

To say it is our identity is somewhat petty because most of us have had or do have careers, have parents we care for, have friends we enjoy and many things we have been through and experienced.