Why do so many people blame the parents when a child is molested?

Question

Doesn't this take the focus off the person that did it? In the Michael Jackson and R. Kelly case, I heard over and over again, "Blame the parents." I have a baby that is learning to walk now, and one second she is at my feet and the next she is in the bedroom biting her dad's finger or playing with her big brother. As a parent, we do the best we can to watch our children but at times they do get away from us.

I am curious to why so many people blame the parents when sick people hurt them. Your thoughts?

Answer 1

I guess because it our duty to teach our children to stay away from strangers and to understand what inappropriate touching is, even if its a relative or friend and that it's not OK, even if you love that person or they threaten you with death or pain of parents or siblings.

I would probably blame myself if anything ever happened to my children, right before I killed the SOB that hurt my babies.

I think teaching the children about pedophiles at a early age could prevent a lot of molestations.  Only an opinion.  Take care.  (I agree it's hard to keep up with children, but maybe educating them is the first step.)

Answer 2

Our children are unable to protect themselves and while we cant watch them every second..we can make good sound decisions on where they are and who they are with.  If even a doubt...take the safe road..the parents absolutely are held accountable, thats why they call them parents.

Answer 3

The parent could be blamed if he is he one that did it...

Answer 4

Because it is the parents responsibility to ensure that their child is in a safe environment, and obviously they weren't in a safe environment if they were molested!!!

Answer 5

In the two major media cases you mentioned it was clearly neglectful parents who put their child in that situation. That is normally the case. The parents are either too busy to pay attention to whats going on or they just cant admit that someone close to them is molesting someone of their own. Its either pride or ignorance. So, in a great percentage of the cases it is the parents fault for allow it to continue or put their child in the situation they know will be harmful for them.

Underthemosthigh: It is rather ignorant and assuming of you to put Micheal Jackson and All Catholic priests in the same judgment. Only a few Catholic priests are child molesters. All sects of the Christian religion has their share of abusers, its only the Catholics who have had the media spotlight on them. Mormons, Episcopalians, Methodists, Church of God, Baptists etc. have a tendency to make excuses for and hush up the abuse.

Answer 6

Because they haven't taken the time to research the real problems involved, and its not just upbringing, there are many factors. its an uneducated response.

Answer 7

parents cant be blamed. One can advise them to be more cautious and watchful.

savithri

Answer 8

I do not think that at all. However, when you are allowing a child to "hang" with R Kelly and Micheal Jackson, don't you think that is a bit neglectful?

Brooke Bennett is dead today because of her parents ignorance in allowing her to go within 50 miles of her uncle! What about mothers or fathers who marry a known pedophile or move them in? Are they to blame? I would say YES!

For myself, my parents were not to blame. They had no idea. Back then, molestation was not a word ever spoken, in the home or in the media. Today there is no excuse for parents to not discuss this issue with their very young children and to let them know that it is wrong and that they are to tell if someone touches them.

I do not believe ALL parents are at fault when a child is abused but there are certainly those who are.

Answer 9

Because exactly that.. they think that the parents should have been watcing them 24/7 and that they should have taught their children right from wrong.

If a child hits your child in school who do you blame? The parent for not teaching them not to hit other children.

Some cases it really is the parents fault.

Some it's not.

Good Luck and God Bless

Answer 10

Well, I don't think people are saying to blame the parents exclusively. As a parent, I know I'd feel like I wasn't doing my job if I suddenly find out that my child was a victim of *repeated* abuse and for some reason I had no clue. I mean, it's hard for me to see that happening: our kid is our number one priority and we do the best we can to try to make sure we know what's happening to her even before SHE does!

A one-time thing I can see maybe dropping under the radar, maybe...

Answer 11

When you drive your child to Michael Jacksons house and drop them off for "a sleepover" - knowing that he's is an adult male and has been in the media for years portrayed as a freakish child molester, then you pretty much deserve the blame if your child is abused.  I'd go so far as to suggest some jail time.  Maybe sharing a cell with Jackson.   Having a one year old run into a different room is not the same thing so don't even go there.

Answer 12

i dont know why people blam the parents...

Answer 13

People need a scape goat, it is easier to blame it on bad parenting than to a accept that there is as good a chance of it happening to your own child. My step daughter that lives with myself and hubbie full time was molested whilst in the care of her biological mother by her fiance, unfortunatly in our case the mother was actively involved in the abuse, we ony realised a couple of months later when she refused to see her mom and would wet and soil herself, then her brother told us what had been hapening, it was physical, sexual and emotional abuse of both children, we felt a lot of guilt our selves for not picking it up sooner, and the worst of it is that the mother got away scott free.

Answer 14

Well, all I know is that I would blame myself if that happened to my kids, because it is my responsibility to make sure my kids are safe.

Answer 15

i think it is no ones fault except for the person that molested the individual.  it certainly isnt the childs fault and the only way the parents would be to blame is if they left the child with a knows child molester.

Answer 16

look at all the child drownings  parents are at home sleeping on the phone checking mail and their toddler gets out and drown why arent these parents held accountable?  parents dont watch their children as well as they could how many single parents invite freaks into their home and around their small children while they go out  parents should be held accountable watch the news

Answer 17

Well when it comes to Micheal Jackson or any catholic clergy man I think the parents are partially to blame. These folks are well known to molest children.

However if it's a babysitter or relative or friend than blaming the parents seems very unfair and cold.

Answer 18

I've never heard that in my life - I think you are generalising too much. the instinctual reaction is not to blame the parents at all - it's to blame the abuser.

Answer 19

people shouldnt blame the parents for the actions of someone who is sick...

we as parents trust people and its hard   and unfair to determine whether or not someone is sick in the mind

but as parents we have a responsibility to protect our children

and in most cases some parents are careless with theyre kids

leaving them with people that they barely know

you have to know who u are leaving your kids with

that still dont give anyone the right to harm a child in any way

kids are so innocent

its a shame there are so many child predators.

Answer 20

My daughter was abused in April this year by a 14 year old boy,a boy i had looked after a sweet boy i thought.

I do blame my self because i should of kept an eye of them in the house where it happened,it happened at a friends house in his mothers bedroom,the door was open but he managed to do it while we were having coffee ,

Answer 21

many people are very sensitive to bad things happening to children as am i. seeing how children cant take care of, or defend  themselves, its ultimately the parents full responsibility to make sure the child is taken care of. also in many child neglect or abuse cases there are many factors that the public is not aware of. There are usually warning signs that an inexperienced parent didn't notice or ignored.

Answer 22

I dont think that many people blame the parents but in some cases, such as the highly publicized ones, the parents are blamed wrongly. One reason the blame takes place is because the more blame to pass around the more entertaining it becomes during media frenzies. Also the abuser would put blame by claiming ack of supervision. Others who put blame are putting blame on child, abuser, and parent. I feel parents are wrongly blamed in these circumstances because you never know sometimes when to trust a person even if it is your best friend. But in cases, epscially against Michael Jackson and other celebrities, its for the money, attention, and possible lifetime-type movie. Either way the focus should always be on the abuser!