Why do so many people choose to not adopt American children?

Question

There are so many American children in foster care that are available for adoption, so why do so many American's look outside of the US to adopt instead of adopting American children that need loving parents? I know the process is cumbersome, but isn't it worth it to help a child in need of a loving home?

Answer 1

I agree, I have been told that it is as sad as this is to say, the price. American children/babies are a lot more expensive.

Answer 2

There is a myriad of reasons and it depends on the person

One being that it is cheaper than a private infant adoption many times. Even with the flight etc many private adoptions you pay for the  first moms medical expenses and she has the right to change her mind and you are out that money.

Two some people want to adopt from Russia to get white children that look like them

Three some like out pediatrician's family is from  a wore torn country with thousands of kids in orphanages and they have a high chance of being killed. She is adopting from there yes it is only one child they are helping but that is one less child that will  have die from malnutrition, wore etc.  Yes foster care is hard but they are 100 times better  off in most cases  than kids in developing countries.  

Three some don't want to deal with the birth parents

Four in most cases kids in foster care are older and part of a sibling group. People want babies and to. Also kids in care were taken because of abuse or neglect and many have far more emotional and physical "damage" then kids from over seas

Answer 3

As you've seen in a lot of your answers already, a lot of it has to do with the fact that there are a lot of misconceptions about adoption through the foster care system.

Most people don't know that it's free in most states to adopt a foster child or sibling set.

Some don't understand that social services does not check up on you after the adoption is final (we will be having monthly visits for 12 months, and then the adoption should be finalized...thereafter, the child is just as much "ours" as if s/he were a homegrown baby).

Many people don't know that there are infants up for adoption through the foster care system.  Although infants are rare, I would be willing to bet money that you're more likely to be able to adopt an infant through foster care than through an agency (were you're competing with 90 other PAP's for each brand new baby).

Many people don't know that children in foster care don't always have drug and alcohol issues.  Although it is fairly common for foster children to have organic brain damage of this variety, we have come accross quite a few children who are perfectly healthy.  Many of these children are in foster care due to domestic violence, child abuse, sexual abuse, parental mental illness or developmental disability (i.e. parents are not mentally capable of caring for their child).  Many of these children are perfectly healthy, and don't have any more issues than the average infant adoptee.

Many people don't know that drug and alcohol issues are on a spectrum, which means that not every child with FASD will have full-blown FAS.  For those who know me...would you have guessed that I have FASD?  Yep, I sure do!  My issues are pretty minor, and were mistaken for ADHD and allergies.  MOST children with FASD are like me, and will NOT create a horror story out of your family.

Most people aren't aware that ADOPTEES have issues, not just the ones from foster care.  Many of the kids in foster care won't have any more issues than the average infant or international adoptee; they just have different issues, not more or less.

I could go on for a LOOOOONG time, but I think that's sufficient for now.

Answer 4

it is easier to get a baby if you go outside the U.S and thats what most people want. Also, many people do not get approved for U.S adoption but they get approved in other countries.

Answer 5

Adoption is adoption right? Every child whatever their age, needs a loving home. If no one adopted from other countries, then people would kick up a stink about that too. I dont always agree in international adoption due to race and culture reasons, but thats just me. Its a shame, but its highlighted more. Designer bag springs to mind.

Answer 6

There are different avenues to adoption and a responsible perspective adoptive parent researches every option before choosing what is best for their family.  Adopting though foster care has its benefits and its drawbacks, so does domestic infant adoption and so does overseas adoption.  It is a matter of finding which method is the right fit for your family and that you are providing a home to a child who needs one.

I don't think it's right for people to pass judgement on what is a deeply personal choice.

Every child deserves a safe, loving and stable home, whether that child is born in the US or another country.

BTW There are not more infants available for adoption overseas and neither is the process less cumbersome.

Answer 7

Because, unfortunately, a lot of couples want babies, not older kids that need to have years of therapy. There are not enough people that have the patience to deal with kids with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, born drug addicted, abused, etc.

Answer 8

All children need loving homes - regardless of where they live.  Many people who adopt internationally do so for a variety of reasons.  

Friends of ours chose international adoption because they felt that these children were already available and living in orphanages.  They were not waiting for a birth parent to choose an adoption plan and then possibly change their mind.  So they felt that it was more of a "guarantee" that they would bring home a child than if they went through domestic adoption since the fees were so high.

Other friends of ours chose international adoption because they were worried about bio parents showing up on their doorstep and trying to take the baby from them.  Even though that rarely happens, it was something they knew they could not handle in their family, so they chose international adoption for that reason.  

I agree that there are children here in the US that need homes.  Unfortunately, I have also seen first hand the coercion that exists in our foster care program.  Although we adopted from the US the first time, if we were able to adopt again, we might consider international adoption because of what we witnessed with US foster care previously.

Answer 9

The Americans cause too much bloody trouble in this world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...

Answer 10

Why does this get asked everyday?

People do what is best for them and their family. And ANY sort of adoption is a great thing. There is no weighing one vs. the other.

And international adoption is MUCH more expensive than domestic so dont listen to what people say because they are wrong and trying to spin international adoptive parents in a bad light.  EVERY child deserves to have a good home regardless of the country they are born in.

Answer 11

Of course there are many reasons to adopt from a foreign country, and many of the practical reasons are already listed.  Another reason, whether you'd consider it "fair" to American children or not, is that some people compare the situations of children in American orphanages (generally getting at least 3 square meals a day, and some sort of education and health care) to children from other countries, who may not even have those basic needs being met, and decide that they're going to choose a child who seems to have a lesser chance at success in life if they DON'T get adopted.  

I've never quite gotten why people ask "why not support American adoption/schools/charities".. there are lots of people that DO support those situations, but that doesn't mean people adopting/donating/assisting out of the country aren't doing wonderful things too.  Those children need a home as badly as these kids here in the U.S. - some of them, perhaps worse.

Edit:  Wow.. I love how almost all of us who gave answers about why someone might do that got thumbs down, even though none of us said that we DID do that, only offered possible answers the the question.  Wasn't that the point?  It's like someone went through and said "Oh, all these people are for adoption from out of the U.S. just because they're giving a reason why someone might do so, so.. THUMBS DOWN TO ALL!!  That was the question in the first place.. "why would someone..".  

Sometimes Yahoo Answers blows my mind.

Answer 12

the route doesnt matter if the paps are informed, loving, and ready. how are kids living in orphanages overseas not in need of a loving home? i dont think you meant to put it this way, but you might want to fix it because the last line sounds absolutely repulsive the way it is

Answer 13

More expensive, americans have higher standards, they dont like single parents, parents with diseases things like that.

Answer 14

Does any body here have the slightest clue what they are talking about?

Its more expensive in the US is it? How do you figure? International adoption average is around $28,000. Domestic infant is around $18,000. Less if she has health insurance. Much less if you locate a birthmother yourself by networking. Free if you are lucky enough to find a child through the state. Where are your sources?

  Where are all these adoptable children at? The foster system? Do you really think that the 150,000 "waiting children" here are the same from last year? No! As many are adopted, more become available. Many of them are in their foster home that is adopting them. Do you know that (at least) in Ohio they have to put the children as "waiting" on their website even though there is a family they are with already in the process of adopting them? Go check it out www.adoptohio.com. Go ahead, call on one of them. Ignorant people look at that and think "Wow, look at all those perfectly adoptable kids". OK then...go get them if its that easy.

I sat here at my computer and looked at a beautiful "available" child in IL. You know where she was? SITTING ON MY LAP!! Her picture stayed up for weeks after she was home. Yet lots of you people probably thought "oh, no body wants her, boo hoo".  There are thousands of people waiting for a child...child, I said, not baby and not even healthy. My child is blind and her head is too small and badly deformed. The compition was heavy. We got blessed. There are teenagers that take a while longer to find a home but thats because most people are not qualified to take them. I'm 32, I don't qualify yet!

DO THE RESEARCH!!

OK THUMBS DOWN for the education. Whatever

Answer 15

I know few people that adopted from China and Russia

A few where single, and it was easier

The couples did not want the biological parents never to come back.  There are a lot of horror  stories out there about biological parents are coming back

Answer 16

Money , Fear and a Baby.

It costs more in the USA

It carries the fear that the birth parents will look for their child

People want a newborn without 'issues'

Selfish huh

But why not do what mine did adopt and immigrate to another country :( then when you find your birth family its near on impossible to become close due to distance

Answer 17

A lot of reasons. Like you said the process is much more cumbersome here in America. Not only does it take longer and cost more, but it's very hard to get an infant which is what most familys search for. Now in China, there is an extreme surplus of adoptable infants, plus the process is cheaper and faster. But yes it is worth it to adopt here, or at least it should be. Charity starts at home people, help out the children here in our own country before you decide to search over seas.

Answer 18

It is about 15-20K more to adopt in the states, also you have social services checking up all the time

Answer 19

american rates are higher, but i think people who adopt anywhere are doing a good thing! im glad my mom adopted me and im from guatemala!

Answer 20

Maybe parents would rather let everyone openly know that their child is adopted, and not have to tell everyone. If you adopt a child who looks different from you (chinese eyes) you won't have to answer all those questions, and it won't be a secret, rather than adopting an american child who looks similar to you, and pretending to all your friends that you gave birth to that child. It might also be less pressuring on the adopted child, because she wouldn't have any secrets from her friends about her adoption.