Why do so many people seem to think that people become foster parents to a baby or child for the money?

Question

Have you seen what they actually get? They end up paying for most of the kid's stuff from their own salary! Why do people say this, if they think it's so wrong, why aren't they doing it?

Answer 1

The decent to good foster families don't do it for the money.  I know of a couple of instances where the family was doing it for the money & completely neglecting the kids, so they could pocket the exceptionally small stipend they get per child per month.  Those instances are exceptionally rare, though.  The vast majority of foster families are exactly as you suggest & use the money (and sometimes money from their own pockets, too) FOR the children's benefit and care.

Our church has started an "orphans' ministry" a couple of years ago.  So far our focus has been on foster care and foster care adoption.  We have a relatively small church (about 400 people are members) and of those folks, we've had fifteen families graduate from foster/adoptive parent training classes through the foster system.  (this is absolutely HUGE!)  We have at least two other families who want to attend the classes, too.

Some of these families want to do short term care (emergency & respite care), some of them want to do more "traditional" foster care...i.e. longer term, and some of them want to adopt.

We got licensed and provide emergency & respite care.  We have one 18 y.o. girl who comes and stays weekends to get out of her group home sometimes.  We have had several other teens stay in our house from overnight to a couple of weeks.  We've had one pre-teen.  Last weekend we had a three year old with us.  Right now we have a 17 y.o. young lady whose social worker is looking for a therapeutic home for her.  She'll likely be with us for about two weeks.  She's a sweetie & just arrived this evening.

We also put together care packages for kids coming into care (they have personal care items in them), and emergency clothing (sweats, shorts, tshirts) for runaways with no decent clothes to wear.  And we put together care packages for the social workers (hand sanitizer, kleenex, gift cards to a coffee shop, microwave popcorn, hot chocolate, etc.) that we take down to our county offices to give to the social workers to show them that we appreciate their efforts.

There are hundreds of thousands of kids in foster care across the US.  Most states have a horrible shortage of foster parents & are in desperate need of more good homes.  Some counties have ratios as bad as 10 kids for every available home.

I encourage anyone to look at becoming a foster family.  There are many myths about fostering.  Most of what people "know" is unfounded and not accurate.  I hope people will investigate it and get the facts.

If you can't become a foster family for some reason, then look for ways to support and encourage folks who are foster families.  See if you can take their kids to the movies for an afternoon to give them a break, bring them dinner, help them find a car seat for the little one they just took in or just let them know you appreciate what they're doing & that you know it's not easy!

I hope this encourages someone to investigate how they can become involved.  It bugs me when people just gripe about the system & don't do anything to improve it.

Answer 2

I can't believe there are people who are being foster parents for the little money.  I would be a foster parent just to be there for the child.  Period.

Answer 3

I've never heard anyone assume that.

Answer 4

People say this because it is/was often true.  I know several people of different ages who grew up in foster homes.  Their clothing came from Salvation Army and they were given slop to eat and expected to do all the work in the home.  Some of these folks kept several kids just for the money.  I also know of several people who were placed in loving foster homes but often prevented from being adopted by being labeled unadoptable by social workers for mysterious reasons.  While there has been reform going on, I have no doubt some of these abuses continue.  

My sisters' stepson and DIL are foster parents for infants. They are frequently given more infants to care for than a day care would be allowed because there aren't enough qualified folks who will take infants (too much work for the money she said).

Answer 5

Yeah no $hit!  After you factor in food / formula / diapers / baby wipes / bottles / high chairs / car seats...etc (which the state does not supply free of charge) we spend probably a good two hundred more than what we get to begin with and we are in a reunification fostering program...which means we are trying to help the bio mommy get her $hit together so she can raise her kid!

Answer 6

because people do. they will get the kids and unlik eyou they won't spend ay money on the kids. they will get cloths and stuff donated to them and then they chill. some states are more caring about the kids that others but some states just throw us to the wind. Kids without parents are forgotten about for the most part unless we are causeing problems in the comunity and then we are just problem children.

Answer 7

no accouning for the stupidity of some people. Unfortunateyl, the media gives us information about people who pocket the money and neglect the kids. I'm sure it's rare but that's what you hear about in this country.

Answer 8

I know how loving, giving foster parents feel about this image and how much most give to these children.  I am forever grateful to my daughter's foster mother (adopted internationally and I have know idea how her foster mother was compensated in Taiwan).  However, as sad as it is, there are a minority of foster parents who truly do foster for the money and don't spend all the money on the children.

Answer 9

I have often wondered that myself.  My partner and I are foster parents with three small (2,3,and 4) foster children.  I work full time and my partner is home with the kids.  The stipend works out to about 75 cents an hour.  I'm working full time at a good job and we are making it hand to mouth.  There is very little "extra" money to put into savings.  It is a major decision to take the kids to Burger King.  However, we love the kids and would do nothing different.  They have made our lives richer and fuller we would have ever believed possible.

I think the media should focus on that kind of story as opposed to the negative garbage that does happen.

Answer 10

I say it's ignorance.  People only judge things they know almost NOTHING about.  If people would do legitimate research on any subject, and not listen to the media or others opinion, they would find their ideas are false.  They stipend that is allowed for foster parents really is minimal, AND, you're right most of the money allocated is used for the child and the foster parent pays the rest.  I was a foster parent before children and I know how much money I paid out of my own pocket.  Being a foster parent is about love, not the $200 you get a month - please!

Answer 11

The media only seems to tell the stories of the people that take advantage of the program.  You rarely hear about the families and children that benefit from foster families.  My son was in a wonderful foster family for a year before we brought him home.  I will be forever grateful to his fostermom and we still send pics to her on occasion.  She will forever be a part of his (and our) life.

Answer 12

Well my best friends partents where foster parents and from what i heard they made alot of money. Family holidays paid for and big allowances for clothes, food and other bits. At the end of the day i guess it depends what company you foster with?

Answer 13

Depending on the child is going to be depending on what they pay you.  In the state I am in the pay 275.00 per child.  Now with food and gas just running them to doctors, counseling, school, sports and visits with their parents you are right most of the other things come out of your own pocket.  You still have to have cloths and what not in there too!!  I do it for the love of helping the child.  Never was or will be in there for the money.....

Answer 14

Accually i do know of people/familys who have just adopted a kid for money, and let the kid do what ever he/oshe wanted. And they got a lotta moeny outta it, and this family didnt even like kids...but they didnt have to have a fulltime job anymore to pay for things.

Answer 15

I am with you, we are foster parents and we got into because we knew there were children that needed a loving home, knowing we were getting into a money making situation.  We didn't realize how much money you could actually end up spending from your own pocket.  It is worth it for us, but please, If any of you are reading this and are thinking about getting into fostering to make a little extra money...don't waste your time...or the childrens!

Answer 16

I think this assumption is so rediculous.  As a foster parent, we do make some money, but by the end of the month, we really need that paycheck.  With the extra food, water, electricity, etc., it doesn't come out to much.  Especially because most foster families need to have one of the parents home full time.  (Although we could both work, we have found that to be able to get the children everywhere they need to go, one of us needs to be home.)  Another thing I like to point out is, how many people would choose to work 24 hrs. a day, 7 days a week, for what a foster parent makes?  I mean, if it is about the money, this is not the position to take!

However, I do know people who do it just for the money.  My mother was talking to someone one day about my foster kids and how much she loves having them around.  The other person was like, "Yeah, we used to be foster parents for awhile.  We needed to money."  So, there are people that are doing it for the money.  Too bad they give us all a bad name.