Why do so many people think it is so easy for a parent to stay home?

Question

I see on here daily some SHAM stating how if they really wanted to they could live on one income. It is not that easy. First off many pregnancies even in marriage are not planned. Secondly even if they are you can not just give up on your responsibilities you already have. Yes you can live with one car but if you already have a car note you probably owe more than the car is worth so selling it you will still have a payment. Not to even mention student loans that most of us who went to college have to pay off. Also schools in your area are not up to par you may even want to do private school with 300-500 a month you kind of need a second income. Ok private school is not a most you can do supplemental things at home to improve education like my parents did. Not to mention health insurance. One of my coworkers her husband makes enough to support them but the only insurance offered through his job is a crappy HMO and they have somewhat of a sickly child. She is working for the health insurance. I think it is great when a parent can stay home but where there is will there is not always a way. If you wait till you can afford to stay home you will be 40 before you have your first child.

Answer 1

They think its because they stay at home and find it easy themselves, so they assume its easy for everyone . IT'S NOT.

I am a SAHM. Not by choice tho. I did go back to work, my job was 30 mins away and only getting one/two shifts a weeks. Wasn't worth it. Was just working to pay for the gas to get there and back. So i lasted almost 2 months and quit.

I tried looking closer, but no luck. And even if i had found something, i'd more than likely be working just to put my daughter in day care, so again, not worth it.  I'm pregnant again, so can't even look for another job.

But we are so so struggling right now, so IT IS NOT EASY, to those who think it is.

I don't know why some pple have a problem with working mothers, i think they should just mind their own business and take care of their own kids instead of worrying about others.

Answer 2

Do people really say that it's easy. My husband and I certainly don't.  We live without a whole lot to do so.  Most of the time though, it can be done.  We live in a small house, don't buy extras, and barely are able to pay our bills.  Neither one of us would trade that.  What we sacrifice is considered pennies to us compared to the riches we gain by me staying at home with the children.  Usually its where you draw the line in wants and needs.  Not always, but usually.  And BTW, I don't look down on any mom who goes back to work.

Answer 3

"Barely able to pay our bills".  Sorry, but I certainly don't want to be in that situation for the rest of my life.  Worried about if we will be able to afford the new furnance that just broke in the middle of winter, or sweat my butt off in 90 degree weather because we can't afford to fix the air conditioner.  Or freak out because our roof has a leak and we can't afford a brand new roof.  All of this happens.  If I stayed home (or my husband) we wouldn't be able to do anything!  We couldn't afford Christmas or Birthdays, Easter, or any trips for the family whatsoever.  We wouldn't go out to eat occassionally, go to the waterpark in the summer or buy a special gift for my child just because I want to. We would live in a 1 bedroom with 4 people.  We would live with my in-laws.  I certainly don't want that.  

Trust me, I've done the math and it ain't happening.  I'm ok with that and I always will be.  People who criticize working parents, are truly naive.  

Answer 4

I agree with you.  I consider myself extremely lucky to be able to stay home with my children for the last 14 years.  My husband has a decent job that pays for our health & life insurance and even contributes dollar for dollar into his retirement fund what he puts in himself.  He's not raking it in...but it's enough for us to live and that's all I can ask for to be able to be here with my kids.

Even when we needed extra money I easily made what we needed by babysitting for others who aren't so lucky.

We did have to make certain sacrifices mind you.  Ones we were willing to make.  We've never bought a house or taken a real vacation, we have only 1 car, and we've never bought a new one.

Answer 5

I am a stay at home mom and it is not easy, My fiance and I make sacrifices in order for me to stay home and raise our son, but they are ones that we are willing to make so that I can stay home.  My finace knew that I was not confortable letting my baby in daycare or even let a babysitter or one of his family memebers watch my son every day so that I could work also (my family all live far away) so we budget like crazy.  Some people have it easier when their other half have a great job that pays a lot with good benefits, but those situations are few and far between!!!

Answer 6

Everyone's situation is different.  I am a SAHM and have been for most of the past 2 1/2 years.  I have gone back to work a couple of times but end up just paying for childcare and gas money....and I make a pretty good hourly rate.  People want a RIDICULOUS amount for childcare these days!!  Fortunately, my husband makes a good salary and we can afford for me to stay home.  Sure, we have to make compromises and money is tight sometimes, but we own our home, have 2 cars and the fridge is always full.  I understand that this is not the case for everyone and some people have no choice but to work but either way,  you are making compromises and I don't know who ever said it was easy either way.  If you stay at home, then you compromise on your finances,  if you go to work, then you compromise on time with your child. But I want to make clear that whether a parent chooses to stay at home or to work,  it is their choice and they are doing what is best for their own family and their own situation and no one said it was going to be easy either way! I do have bills to pay and I have a student loan as well....my choice to stay home was not because it was easy or because I didn't want to work or even that we couldn't use an extra income.  It was simply that I felt that 1. I felt it was more important for me to be home with my child and 2. due to gas prices and childcare expense,  it just made more sense for me to stay home.  I try to bring in extra income when I can with rummage sales, online auctions, etc. just to help out and when the kids are in school full time then I will go back to work.

Answer 7

I don't think it's easy to be a stay at home parent at all. I mean the living on one income these days is difficult at best. and the rent/morgage man wait on nobody. Plus the lights and the water and all of the other things you mentioned. It's not easy when BOTH parents work! But what I don't like is the fact that alot of stay at home parents try to infer that the parents who choose to have both parents working are somehow neglecting their children.  

Answer 8

the only people who say its easy is the ones who either have nannies and can afford pretty much anything they wanted. OR people who never did it. i mean i am 22 yrs old i stay home with my kids not by choice i was 18 when i had my first son i got me GED and havent had a job since i found out i was pregannt. its been a hard 5 yrs with the economy failing and prices shooting up its been very difficult. but putting aside the wants from the needs we have managed. barely buy any clothing new find cheaper ways to live. it works though

Answer 9

Thank you, thank you, thank you for this post!  I'm so sick of people rolling their eyes at me when they find out that I work.  I'm not a part time mom, I just happen to be a full time mom that works!!!  Sometimes it's not practical to stay home (and truthfully, I wouldn't even want to) but some people think that once you have a baby, you need to stay home at all costs or your child will suffer, suffer, suffer.   I think she would suffer more if we couldn't afford to feed her or give her a place to live!