Why do so many people think that a woman's clothing is relevant to her being raped?

Question

Four years ago when I was 18 I was raped by a stranger. Recent discussions with people have left me a little exasperated because it is apparent that even in these times many of you out there believe that a victim of rape could somehow be 'asking for it' if she is dressed in a manner that you think is revealing or inappropriate.

The night I was raped, for example, I was wearing shorts and a top. It was a very warm summer evening and my attire was completely appropriate, but some seem to feel that shorts and a light top could be too revealing when a woman is by herself in a city?

Don't you all understand that the person that is at fault during a rape is the person that committed the crime, not the victim?

What are your thoughts?

Answer 1

They do this because then they will not have to change their ways, they can blame others for their own actions.

It's called 'blaming the victim' and you hear a lot of it around here.

In real life, however, most people ~ and more importantly the law, recognise that 'what the victim was wearing' is NOT an excuse for criminal behaviour.

Best wishes to you :-)

Answer 2

What you're saying is certainly true

-but it's still true that if someone is dressing in a revealing (trashy) manner and are at the wrong place at the wrong time, this will increase their chances of being rape.  I'm not saying it's their fault, but I'm saying that they are putting themselves at risk.

Answer 3

anyone who thinks this is a moron! rape is not about s*x or lust it is about violence and domination. other sexual crimes are lust based to a greater or lesser degree but rape is a compulsion to violent acts.

Answer 4

its basically called "blaming the victim" Such as clothing, she "shouldn't have been there", wrong place wrong time, etc...basically I have found through research that rape is just a violent act all together and most of the time, its some ridic stat like 90% of women know their rapists...so it shows they are acquainted w them to begin with....find it hard to believe that clothes have a correlation to rape, but then again I can see HOW people would think that but ithas been shown not to be truthful

Answer 5

I am really very sorry for what happened to you. You see our society is male dominated so they try to blame women for everything. Some people even believe that a man has the right to rape his wife! Really I don't appreciate somebody wearing revealing clothes. But that doesn't give me the right to rape her.

Answer 6

I personally don't think that it is the clothing that a women wears. There are just a bunch of disgusting people out there that don't know how to act in an appropriate manner which are those who rape others. It is just how society sees the whole issue of what a women wears and that if something happens to her it is because she asked for it because of what she is wearing. Many women out there do present through their actions and the way they carry themselves in a very negative way that may lead them on to certain actions as to being raped.

Answer 7

Some men on GWS actually encourage rape.  They believe that women ask for it, enjoy it, dress for it and then make false rape accusations against the perpetrator.  Of course, the men on here are not normal and have a deep hated for women.  

Rape is a crime and using the victim's dress sense as an excuse is just another way that GWS men try to bully women

into submission and blame them because of feminism.

EDIT:  Refer Peter Potomus below.  This is a prime example of male rape worship on GWS.

Answer 8

Sorry you got raped. That freaking sucks. I don't know the whole story behind what happened, so my response is more aimed at your main question, not what you wrote underneath. Don't get too offended by my blunt words. I;m just a blunt guy.

To think that wearing sexually revealing clothes, especially in the wrong part of town, is irrelevant to the rape is just absolutely illogical. People need to snap out of PC mode and be realistic. Of course rape is wrong. Of course it's the rapists fault. Of course the girl is the victim. This should all be painfully obvious. However, sexually revealing clothing, especially in the wrong part of town can trigger a rape exactly like a man in the wrong part of town with $100,000's hanging right out his back pocket for the thugs to see. He doesn't deserve to be robbed, but his chances of getting robbed are INCREDIBLELY high if he's naive enough to do it.

Saying that it's logical, VERY logical to tell the girl to take responsibility for her actions and not dress too revealingly in sketchy places is not the same as calling her the problem or saying she deserved it if it happens. It's simply saying, be smart, which is what anyone would tell the guy so he rethinks hanging out with sketchy people with big dollars hanging from his *ss.

And for those who gave me all the thumbs down, give me as many as you'd like. It's actually ridiculous to get thumbs down for preaching common sense. Would you tell your daughter it was okay for her to dress like a playboy bunny with John Doe in the corner just waiting to shine her face with some love seed. I don't think so. You would teach her to be smart!

EDIT: and for the record, I'm not talking about girls/women who aren't even in a bad part of town, or dressed too s**y, and get raped out of the blue. There is no avoiding that anymore than avoiding certain car accidents. But to narrow down the chances, please be smart about your life.

EDIT: COLEEN, I just have one more thing to say, which you may or may not see since I have pure thumbs down. THis is a touchy subject. You got raped. The rapist should go to jail and get raped (I'm assuming it was a guy) himself. At the same time however, there are things that raise the chances of rape like anything else bad that can happen to you. That doesn't mean you should feel bad about anything. You yourself may have been unaware of what was going on, and how some men will totally prey on girls who in the wrong part of town, in the wrong attire. I think that because this is a touchy subject, people have a hard time seperating what is fact of defense to rape, what is sensitive to one who got rape, and what is evil, which is the rapist. People seem to think that if you say there is a defense, then it's your fault. Thats stupid.  It's not your fault but what ever, EVERYONE WHO RESPONDED, hate me with all your passion, I'll always stand by the facts.

Answer 9

Because it's easier to tell the victim she did something wrong, and preach at women about their behaviour, than to face the fact that most rapes aren't committed by strangers jumping out from dark alleys and to challenge the attitudes that underly rape. It's despicable that, twenty years after I first heard the phrase, "No means no," we're still trying to get it through many people's heads (male and female) that 'mixed signals' are no excuse for ignoring a verbal, "No."

What these people don't get is that, whatever society says is a 'decent' amount of clothing, it only takes a little less to be thought of as revealing. These days we think nothing of an ankle on display, but when floor-length skirts were the norm, that was racy. So yes - take their argument to its logical conclusion, and they *are* advocating burquas. And even if we did wear them, they'd still find some excuse to blame the victim.

Answer 10

if a sicko rapist wants s*x he doesn't care what you are wearing because it will not be on you when he rips it off to get the job done. however i think some rapists might enjoy someone who is wearing less because it just makes them more horney and gives them less to take off. So, in my opinion it really doesn't have much to do with the clothes that you wear but more about the mindset of a rapist. They will get it when and where they can. It's just sick!

Answer 11

That is just like saying cause a child is a child or wearing kids clothes that they are asking for it from a pedophile....The victim can not help what turns the predator on. And yes rape is more about power then anything.

Answer 12

It’s never about what someone wears; it’s hardly ever about s*x. Rapists want power and control over someone else. I have been in your situation, and I understand your frustrations when people say callous things like that.

The fact of the matter is; it wouldn’t matter what the person looked like, how they dressed or what they do. Rape is about violence and nothing else, the victim is never to blame. People saying stuff like Guns Fan and his fellow ‘big man on campus’ guys did, also seem like very insensitive disturbed individuals.

They don't deserve your time, never let idiots like that get to you. If you ever want to talk, I m here.  

Answer 13

Most people feel a woman's attire or body language is what instigates rape, only because they are ignorant what rape really is about. And they're ignorant because rape is a topic that is seldom discussed, which is why rape myths continue to survive, despite being debunked since the 70s.

Also, woman still haven't achieved equality. Serious research done on rape isn't taken seriously since we live a largely patriarchal society.

Rape is typically committed for three reasons: power, control, and sadomasochism. None of which have to do with what a woman wears or how she acts. For example, rape has a long history of being used as a weapon during wars.

In response to Seeker, you made your bad point very badly, but I understand it. And while you are entitled to your own opinions, you are not entitled to your own facts.

I have interviewed and sat in interviews with rapists, and NONE of them ever cited s*x/revealing clothes/body language as the reasons for rape. And it's important to understand that rapists are not clinically insane, but suffer from deep personality disorders, which is not the same as insanity. Rapes are very carefully planned and methodically executed, which an insane person could not orchestrate.

It's also important to know that most rapes are committed by people you know. Not some stranger waiting in the bushes.

Even the FBI recognizes the true patterns behind rape and sexual homicides, and instruct their agents how to properly understand rapists' motivations. If you're honestly interested in learning about rape and women's rights, it's possible to purchase the same text books FBI agents use to learn about rapists.

Answer 14

Hmm well that is rediculous to say, he would probably grab any girl walking by, but to some extent it might have some merit.  Date rape for example, or when it happens at a party where the person is passed out it would probably be easier if they were wearing a skirt.  Plus they do say the best defense for rape is to make yourself look disgusting (vomit and urinate all over yourself) so i am sure if you looked like a hobo in the first place you wouldnt get raped.  BUT there is no reason to blame the victim, it just might help their circumstances to look worse.

Answer 15

Of course the rapist is at fault, just like the guy who commits gta is at fault, but you dint need to invite him by leaving the car unlocked.

In any case the rapist is at fault, but its up to you to how much risk you want to expose yourself.

Answer 16

I agree that it is the rapists fault.

However, I love wearing my rolex watch, and it would be nice a lot of times to show off so I would bring it to a dinner party and guests would sometimes comment on it being a nice watch.

Right before I step outside and hail down a cab, if it's 2am or some late hour, I'd take it off. If it was in the middle of the day, I'd probably leave it on.

Women should be just as cautious with their bodies. It's obviously not your fault. But it isn't the brightest thing to do, walking around in a light top and shorts at night in the city, especially if you're by yourself.

Cover up. You don't walk around holding wads of cash in your hands and then complain why someone robbed you on the street do you? Sure it's the robber's fault, but how smart was it for the person to walk around holding wads of cash in their hands? Rape is a serious threat, treat it as one please. Showing off your sexiness and beauty does not take precedence over safety. Cover up, or have someone escort you.

Answer 17

I'm really sorry to hear what happened to you. You were in no way at fault.

This is actually a concept I learned in psychology class. It is called "blaming the victim." The act of rape is incredibly horrific. People don't like to think that something so terrible can happen like that, just out of the blue. They don't like feeling helpless. People want a reason, "why did this happen." And no one likes that possiblity that it could happen to them.  So to them, "It is the victims fault."

I don't care how anyone dresses, does that still make it okay for someone to rape another? At this moment, I'm not saying that the way someone dresses is relevant or irrelevant, but regardless of dress, is the action still okay. If you are a guy and you see a girl dressing skimpy, does that make it morally and legally okay to force yourself on her?

And, If people are going to say that a girl, "dressed wrong, or was in the wrong place," then what about other situtations. Are children asking to be molested, just because they are too childlike? Of course not! You wouldn't blame a child for that. So why do people blame the victims for the rape instead of the rapists. You don't see pedophiles getting off the hook like that.

Rape is wrong. I don't care what the circumstances are, when should it ever be okay for someone to force themselves upon another? Regardless of what people say, the victims will likely change their lives around and never feel comfortable or safe again, all out of fear from the rape. But the rapists are always capable of raping again. People, what if it is your sister, or mother, or wife, or daughter next time. Why let them go free just because, "this victim deserved it." Put the blame where it belongs. Blame the rapist.

Answer 18

You know crime is crime and Rape is a declared serious-crime globally coz.the victim have to suffer till his last breath.

Yes it affect victim's whole life and what happen with criminals we all almost know in better way !

so direction of discussion shall go in such a way so that it can help to someone who is suppose to suffer for long time .. yes in Rape case it is a victim ...

We can say 'yes' clothing / appearing and exposing ..... do boost someone's s*x-desire extermely ...

The way girls wear outfits ... now a days ... it never have been culture

of any country ....

i would like to put a serious query among all of you ...

" How many male have you seen with -

    such a clothing .... which do expose their sexual-organs ...

    the way female usually wear ?"

All are requested to take this view in right-spirit only...!

well , before closing the answer i would like to inform to female that

every male have his own s*x-fantacy ...

some may attract from front .. some may have other fantacy criteria...

we can also discuss these fantacies at length ... but discussion will get

misdirect ... only thing to conclude is that ...

to avoid life-time sorrow female shall take care of their exposures ... because someone may get attract of your beauty ... but other -

can decide to test it !!

Answer 19

What is so amazingly sexually appealing or a big deal for shorts and a top? The argument that the lures a man to rape is ridiculous, the man has to have that mind set in the first place and it is not the clothes, especially in this instance since the clothes is nothing especially revealing. It's the opportunity. She would have just been as vulnerable if she was wearing pants and a long sleeved shirt, because if the rapist thought she was cute and vulnerable, than that is all that matters. I'm sorry to hear this, and people who think clothes lure a rapist are dumb.

Being by yourself in a city can be dangerous, I wouldn't feel comfortable as a man being by myself in NY City at night from the possibility of being mugged or some dude coming up to me with a gun and robbing me. Do people seriously doubt a rapist who sees a woman by herself wearing pants and a long sleeved shirt is going to think "oh well, she's not showing any skin, so I'm not going to attack her?". What raises the chance of a person being attacked or raped is vulnerability and opportunity, it's ridiculous that people think a person is more likely to be spared for wearing more clothes. The rapist doesn't give **** what she's wearing, he sees the prey and the opportunity and gets it. Many times, rape is planned, so a rapist is not going to change his mid especially if he is angry and has a desire to take his frustration out on a woman, he just is thinking of the opportunity and when it presents itself, not deciding to rape if the clothes are revealing. Why does the clothes matter, if he plans on taking it off anways? I highly doubt that, especially if she is vulnerable by herself at night and the opportunity is there.

A sentence from Master B "Unfortunately there was someone willing to take advantage of you and perhaps your attire triggered it but let's be honest they would have raped SOMEONE. [So even if it hadn't been you specifically they were out to do just that." ]

Yes, that is exactly the point and it's amazing why some people can't grasp this.

Answer 20

In no way could it be your fault even if you were out streaking in the nude.Shorts and a top? I've seen many girls dress this way out by themselves.  Who ever says otherwise is a ******* idiot. There is a reason why those that commit the crime are prosecuted. Do you ever see the victim being sent to jail for being raped?

Answer 21

People are stupid. you could have been dressed like a boy and still it would have happen. YOUR the victim not the person doing it. no one made them do it!! what about guys who are rapped. they are not wearing short shorts. people are sick. I hope your getting past what happen to you strongly

Answer 22

If a person walks down the street at night waiving cash there is a greater chance of being robbed.

If a person walks down the street at night in revealing clothes there is a greater chance of ......

I am sorry to hear that happened to you.

Answer 23

It hurts to hear you were violated that way, and are still being hurt in other ways.

My answer:  Human Nature.  Any woman who is brought into a discussion about rape has to consciously or unconsciously deal with the fact she is vulnerable to rape.  Any man has to face the same for his wife,daughter, etc.  They want to deny how universal the danger is, that any woman is vulnerable, that it applies to them, so they try to rationalize and invent ways in which it DOESN'T apply to them.  To invent excuses that "that girl" was wearing the wrong clothes, walked the wrong way, that allowing or avoiding the rape was somehow in her power.  Because if it was in her power, then it was preventable.  Thus it would be in THEIR power to prevent it happening to them.  Thus they don't have to admit how powerless and vulnerable anyone of us is to being assaulted.

Again, if they admit YOU were blameless yet vulnerable to rape, they have to admit THEY are vulnerable to rape.

You state your position very well.  Just don't let yourself get too exasperated or frustrated trying to get people to face the truth.  You are going up against human nature.  Each individual's ego does a fierce job of protecting them from the daily knowledge of how vulnerable they are.  (It works for our mortality, too.)

So if you're talking to one of these people, state what you stated above, and maybe a little of what I have said.  But don't get too invested in whether they "get it".  They may not, and the danger is you may feel hurt that they are in a sense disbelieving you.  Don't be hurt, be angry.  Or better yet, be a little angry and reach a deeper understanding of human nature.  Not for their sake (not your priority!), but for yours.

I hope you can continue to heal.  I have heard of rape survivor's groups.  Any local women's group could link you to them.  Unless you already have that covered.  Have a good night!

Edit:  Sorry to see you got a few asinine answers.  They were claiming to be "reasonable", but were both stupid and unaware.  Don't let them bother you.

Answer 24

a revealing attire can turn some guy on and wanna rape you, but i dont completely agree with that. there can never be an excuse for rape cos its their decision.  

Answer 25

Agreed. I was wearing a t-shirt and shorts in the middle of August. And my t-shirts are never snug. I wear kind of baggy stuff; I always have.

Regardless, there are some people who just don't care.  

Answer 26

Because they're chauvinist pigs. Instead of trying to prevent rapes by punishing rapists, they would rather blame it on the victims, when in fact, a rapist wouldn't care what the victim wears as long as she has a v****a. Dressing more conservatively will not significantly lower the chances of getting raped. It's disgusting to make excuses for rapists like that.

I mean, even if a woman was naked, many men would be able to not force their things in her. I don't think there would be any situation in which a woman would "ask for it". It's simply heartless and uncompassionate to say that a victim "asked for it".

Rape is a vile, perverted, despicable act and no one should be defended for doing it. It's inexcusable.

Answer 27

Several things are going on here.  There are a lot of people that fear being falsely charged with a crime.  Thus when a lawyer brings up the old 'she was asking for it' or she was a s**t defense, it resonates with this visceral fear.  A good prosecutor should be able to counter this by drawing the analogy for the listener (juror) of comparing the victim to ones wife, sister or daughter.   I guess it is kinda like people's reaction to a vet receiving PTSD disability or any disability that leaves no visible evedence to the casual observer.  After the crime there may be no visible of damage to the victim.  It is kinda kooky, I do not understand it.  Maybe the crime conjures up such horror, people just figure the victim had to play role.

I a tangential situation, I have a handicapped placard for my car as a result of a service related disability that is not immediately evident to the casual observer.  You might be shocked at the number of people that verbally assault me as I walk from the car.  I've even had people flag down passing police to ticket the car.  After 40 years I've learned that shopping in a busy place means I need to go with my wife or a friend and have them drop me at the door and then park the car.  It is embarassing having to defend myself for parking.  

Some people are always going to sympathize with the dirt bags.  

Answer 28

If it had to do with clothes or looks or something like that, then how come so many elderly women are rape victims? It's about dominating the other person, not about "having s*x" (I hesitate to call it s*x).

A lot of people can't fathom how such a terrible act could happen so they try to justify it by taking responsibility off the rapist. Personally I think that the what-you-were-wearing view is anti-male because it's implying that guys have no control over their actions when presented with women in scanty clothing (though your clothes were fine).

I'm very sorry for what happened to you. Stay strong.

Answer 29

The argument is ridiculous that it could be the victim's fault.

In the absence of an offender you could have happily walked down the street and nothing would have happened.

Unfortunately there was someone willing to take advantage of you and perhaps your attire triggered it but let's be honest they would have raped SOMEONE. So even if it hadn't been you specifically they were out to do just that.

You are in all senses a victim and its ridiculous for anyone to claim otherwise

edit: sorry guns I have alot of respect for you but your argument doesn't hold because she didn't look at the man and think "oh dear this is a rapist, i'd better put something less revealing on" which would be the accurate analogy to your example

edit: I can agree about individual responsibility insofar as no woman should take unnecessary risks. But as I say if there is a willing offender there is almost 100% going to be an innocent victim unless they choose a woman who carries pepper spray or something and that woman gets lucky. The offender still takes the initiative

Answer 30

I'm sorry but, women need to be more responsible.  I don't leave my house unlocked in a bad neighborhood and expect not be robbed.

Stop complaining and be more responsible.

@Master_Beta:  I'm saying people need to more aware of their surrounding and be more responsible..   Rape is a terrible crime and  I do not support or condone it, but a lot of rapes could be prevented if women be more responsible and use some common sense.   And plus, there could be more to asker story..

Answer 31

I agree with you that there is never an excuse for rape and I don't believe any women ever asked for rape.  That's idiotic.  The only excuse for a rapist is that they are an animal.  That being said I would advise my daughter not to go to a biker bar with a mini skirt, halter top etc.  Some men can't control their instincts so better safe then sorry.