Why do so many woman criticize young wife's such as 20 and young moms?

Question

If you mature enough to marry, you have been in the relationship for a long period of time and have been through hard times and shown love and respect for each other what is so wrong? Just because it is not what society says to do? What is so wrong with becoming a young mom at age 20 when you are in a marriage and financially stable? Just wondering thanks....Why so much negativity just because some people find their happiness and their path earlier and maybe it's not societies idea of perfection but it is ok for them so why not just back off and deal with your own lives?

Answer 1

Because of the feminist movement, which insists that we must leave motherhood behind and seek out careers and become highly successful there first before becoming mothers, if becoming one at all.  I didn't have the chance to be a mom until my mid-20s, but I would have not hesitated earlier if I'd had the chance.

That said, I'm glad I got to do a few things on my own first, just because now, I realize I may never have that opportunity again.  But even if I hadn't, I probably would have been just as happy.  A lot of people think you need to have all sorts of experiences beyond motherhood and if you're only 20, you must not have had any experiences yet.  That's too bad, because I know many mature 20-year-olds who've had many enlightening experiences and are perfectly capable of becoming mothers and being successful and dedicated.

Answer 2

i thought i read somewere or was watching something in media were girls that are 9 years old are married but you dont see me doing that

Answer 3

I think it's because us older mom's realize what we missed and how our parenting improves with age and experience. I married at 18 and had a child shortly after I turned 21. I am now 43 and have a 3 yr old. (also a 13 and 8 year old). So I have done the young to the old in mothering. And i can say that I was to young at 21.. Did I do a good job ...? Yes she is now almost 22 a senior in college working full time and living on her own.. The question is was it easy.. h**l NO..I was immature and as she reached her teenage years I was in a constant panic. There is so much of life that you can experience that will not be possible with a child... Experience really does make for a better parent.

Answer 4

They actually are jealous. I can spot it a mile away. The smirky grin and the nose in the air. It simply means they are insecure.

Answer 5

I'm 18 and I'm doing it.  I don't care what the world thinks.  They can kiss my stretch marks.

Answer 6

I think it boils down to jealousy. If someone half their age is doing just as good or better than them, it makes them look bad.

My husband and I got together at 15, moved in together shortly after. Chose to get pregnant move 2200 miles, and get married when I was 17. Had her at 18. Bought our house at 19. We're doing just great. We planned everything out, and researched every move we made before taking a single step. The wealth in knowledge paid off hugely. At 21, I have 2 kids and am 17 weeks with our third and last baby. Doing better than half the people twice my age that talk c**p. So we can just sit back and laugh while watching the sunset over the lake, our acre of land! lol. It's pretty nice, these ones talking c**p should try it sometime, it might make them feel a little better about themselves!

So for me , if they are doing something worth supporting then I do. Same as any aged mom, you have 40 year olds doing nothing but running up debt and leaving their kids with whoever they can find too. I don't have any respect for that.

Edit* lol, we don't come from money. Our parents were c**p, and in debt constantly. We did everything on our own, and support our life on my husbands 700-800/wk income. With 500-1000/mo to spare. It's called being smart with finances, not "being rich" as the above person insists lol. Ignorance is bliss isn't it.

Answer 7

i have a daughter and im pregnant and engaged and im 14, i get so many looks its infuriating, nobody should b judging were happy and healthy thats what matters.

Answer 8

I know that everyone who got married at a young age in my family has gotten a divorce. My Grandma was 18... divorced 16 years later. My Mom was 20... divorced 5 years later. My Aunt was 19.. divorced 9 years later.

I think it's different for everyone though. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years but we have chosen not to get married right away for personal reasons. I think that if you REALLY are MATURE and honestly love the man you are with then kudos!

Answer 9

I have no clue.I became a wife at 16 and a mother at 21.I get looks wherever I go,but it doesn't bother me.I know I was ready & I love my life.Like the other poster said "they can kiss my stretch marks"" :)..

Answer 10

Because at 20 you have an entire life stretching out in front of you and it may not be romantic but having a child limits your future possibilities. At 20 years old unless you come from a very wealthy family you are not financially stable, marriages come and go these days, at 20 you don't know how permanent it may or may not be. At 20 you are not old enough to be in a "long relationship", you just aren't old enough mathematically.

Thats not to say it can't work, it's just not realistic to think that at 20 years old that you have any idea what the future holds. Too many young women today have kids because it's the cool thing to do. Then 5 or 10 years down the road, they all regret at least some part of it.

Answer 11

because they think at that age you should be in college having a good time. but sometimes it doesn't work out that way. I think as long as your at least 18 it's fine. I'm 22 going on 23 and I'm married and have a  year old daughter (she's adopted) long story I know. if you would have asked me when I was 18 if you though I would be married and a mother by the time you where 22 I would have said yeah right but I wouldn't change my life for anything.

Answer 12

I think its just a sterotype that most people go along with. I'm 21 with 2 kids (3 on monday, being induced), have been married for almost 3 yrs and Im probley happier than most of the people who give those sterotypes. People just want something to talk about

Answer 13

They are just jealous.

Answer 14

there is nothing wrong with young wives or mums....like i am going to be both...if you are mature..then whats the difference.

People who criticize, are just stereotypical! they are more bothered about other peoples lives than their own!!!

My mum met my dad at 14, had me at 17,  and married at 20.

Now many years later, they have 4 children, still married and grandparents to my daughter!

I met my partner at 14, gave birth to our first at 17...due to marry when we have the money for a huuge wedding!!

Kinda weird how its worked out huh!

What i am trying to say is that age makes no difference in when you become a mother or wife....there just are a fair few people that give us a bad name.........