Why do so many women choose to be single moms?

Question

Firstly I know some women meet a guy & think things will work out & it doesn't...thats tuff, I'm not talking about those women. I'm talking about women who find out their pregnant knowing fully well they will be single moms & keep the baby. Do you think abortion is crueller than bringing an unwanted child into the world & dragging them through the mud?

Call me 'old fashioned' in this sense, But I believe new parenthood should be a happy time with a mom & dad soulmates (yes I believe in them) share parenthood together...a child should be a product of your union. Really don't understand why any woman would want to raise a child that isn't fathered by the man she loves & respects?

Answer 1

Because that's their right as a human AND a woman.

You've got some twisted views on parenting.

Answer 2

I've known many single moms who have or are currently raising well adjusted children. I personally believe that it's better to raise a child as a single parent and to allow this child to see you happy, rather then to stay or go into a relationship just for the sake of the child where both people are unhappy.

I'm thankful I'm in a loving, committed marriage with the father of my children, but I certainly don't think I'm any better of a parent or that my kids are going to turn out better then those raised by a single mom. As long as children are loved and taken care of, that's what really matters.

Answer 3

Because life doesn't always work out like a fairytale.  

I was in a long term, roommate-like, loveless relationship.  After the birth of my daughter I realized that I didn't want to raise her to think that that was okay.  Of course I wanted to have children with a man I loved...  and I want the same thing for my daughter.

She has a wonderful father and we are providing her with a stable and healthy foundation.  Being a single Mom doesn't mena your child will be "dragged in the mud".  I DO NOT need to rely on a man to provide everything my daughter needs.  I provide food, clothing and shelter.  I take her to swimming lessons and ballet.  I have an education fund started for her.  I am planning on sending her to private school so that she can have better opportunities in life than I did.

I hope your fairytale life bubble doesn't pop on you, because you'll be a mess.  

Answer 4

EDIT-I have news for you, though!  My husband was planned... tried for for years and years.

He still went through a ton of drama after his parents got a divorce!  You can't predict what's going to happen.

No parents are perfect and the sooner you realize that the better off you'll be.

I'm glad my mother didn't think like that, otherwise my older sister and I wouldn't be here.

Sometimes things happen that you didn't expect.

A single mother can be a great mother.

My mom raised my sister alone and then got pregnant by accident with my dad who she was dating and they got married... and had a horrible miserable marriage.  I wish she had stayed single, honestly.

I am SO GLAD TO BE ALIVE and I am glad I was not killed.

I feel like my life is worth as much as anyone else's life, whether or not you were planned.

What a mean thing to say.  How dare you?

Furthermore- My beautiful twins wouldn't be here if my mom had decided to kill me.  :-(  Yes, I'm married and was married for a long time before we became parents but so what?  I'm still glad to be alive today.  I don't feel like they are more worthy of life than I am simply because they have a married mom and dad.

Answer 5

In a sense I agree with you. Not all single mothers have unwanted children. And many are wonderful parents. But a child is meant to have 2 parents. And i think now days many parents forget that. It happens on both sides of the spectrum. Either a father doesnt want to be a dad. Or the mother chooses that the father isnt good enough. I find myself just as irritated by both. After watching the number of people on Y/A asking how to terminate parental rights and asking how to get out of visitation I feel very blessed with my husband.  

Answer 6

Who said we are not happy being single moms sometimes it is not are choose to single some of the guys are dead bet daddy's

Answer 7

Not all single moms hate their children.

My mom chose to be single BEFORE she had me, she wanted a child and not a man.

Think before generalizing and posting ignorant thoughts.

Sorry I'm just a little offended that you think I"m unwanted and unloved because my mom chose to be single.

Answer 8

"women who find out their pregnant knowing fully well they will be single moms and keep the baby" and then "bringing an unwanted child into the world."  Those two statements contradict the other.  If she wants to keep the baby then obviously the baby is wanted.  

Answer 9

Look iot's not like some of these women don't think the way u do but reality is it not like we chose to be singl\e mothers It happens . Mainly because the guy choses not to grow up himself.  

Answer 10

If they choose to have the baby, what makes you think the baby is unwanted?

Being that you aren't married, either, it is odd that you feel comfortable casting judgment on others.  My baby is a product of the union between me and her father.  We have been together 11 years, but are not married.  Therefore, you could say I am choosing to be a single mom...just like you.

*I just have to say, your baby is gorgeous!

Answer 11

Im old fashioned aswell, not that single mothers cant be good parents but it alot better when the mother is happy and has someone to share the resposibilty with :]

Answer 12

well, many people have different circumstances. but some people have s*x, and with people that they dont necessarily know and love. getting pregnant is a blessing, not a headache. this will bring a woman so much joy. abortion would be murdering their child, and they would be left thinking about that for the rest of their lives. people have their own opinions on these things, but i dont think you should be looking negatively upon these people. i say congratulations for doing the right thing!

Answer 13

your a creep, abort a child of a single parent who wants the baby? just because they are unexpected never makes them unwanted!

Answer 14

Its not the childs fault the parents arent togther.

We  step up to our responsibilities.

Answer 15

For the person who is financially secure, has a good job, home, insurance and is totally able to care for a child and they see that marriage or a relationship is not happening.......I say good for them.

Why a person would **choose** to have a child as a single mother who is barely able to care for herself, does not have a good job, is not financially secure, has no health insurance or stable home....... is nothing more than ignorance and irresponsibility.

My opinion or my judgment.......however you wish to take it.

Answer 16

So you think it would be better to MURDER an innocent baby than for him/her not to have a dad? Ha. That's some logic. I suppose that although some women have moments of weakness and "accidentally" get pregnant, they're still decent people who don't want to cop out like you aparently would. Some people take responsibility for their "mistakes".

While studies have shown that children who have happily married parents usually seem better adjusted in the school years, it isn't impossible for children raised by single parents to "turn out good" too. Many do. And just because a woman isn't married when she gets pregnant does NOT mean she wouldn't be a good mom and it certainly doesn't mean she'll "drag her children through the mud".

Now, if you're talking specifically about the women who you see at Walmart at the first of the month popping out another kid every few years to keep the WIC checks coming, well that's a completely different issue. I can't even tell you how many moms I see slapping little Jawanda upside the head at the Walmart every month while she loads up on beer and cheap lingerie with her Welfare money..... But that's different. Obviously those kids aren't going to adjust well....

I would never intentionally be a single mother. My husband and I both waited until we were married to have s*x and we believe that any problem can be worked through. So, barring death, neither of us will ever have to be a single parent. That's great. But not everyone made "the right choices", so why should they continue to make bad, selfish decisions (like having an abortion because it doesn't fit into their agenda)?

EDIT: You honestly think that if you abort a baby, it will be born to someone else? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Have you ever had a biology class in your life? Or read the Bible for that matter? Let's take a crash course. I am a result of the unity between one of my mother's eggs and one of my dad's sperm. My DNA came from my them. Therefore, had I been aborted, I would not have been born to someone else.....

" 13 For you created my inmost being;

       you knit me together in my mother's womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

       your works are wonderful,

       I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you

       when I was made in the secret place.

       When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

16 your eyes saw my unformed body.

       All the days ordained for me

       were written in your book

       before one of them came to be."

-Psalm 139....

Answer 17

Because they love their un-born child and think it is their duty to protect them and not to kill them.  There are alot of very good single mothers and there might be a chance to find a very good step-father.  They may have the support of their extended family.  Families do not have to be picture perfect to make a happy home.  If heaven-forbid my boyfriend got me pregnant and then left me I would definately keep the baby.  Things don't always go as planned but they can work out well in the end.  

Answer 18

Just because they are a single mom does not mean that the baby is unwanted! Did you even read what you typed? How can anyone feel that way?