Why do some WOMEN consider s*x to be "SERVICE"?

Question

I was looking through some of my older questions from months ago and I caught an answer from a woman who considered having s*x with a man as "serving him" in some way.

In other words, if a woman sleeps with a man, that man should be "gradeful" for her "service".

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

I am giving MY body also. I don't OWE her a d**n thing!! This is why I don't understand how sleeping with a woman one night and never calling back is considered "using" her.

Is this more hypocrisy? If a man is not satisfied and chooses to leave.. he is a "USER".. but a woman can leave a man anytime for any reason and no one blinks.

Get where I'm coming from?

Explain how s*x is "service" please...

Answer 1

It's not a service. But you can't expect all or even most of the women you sleep with to have the cavalier attitude about s*x that you do. It's entirely possible that she might actually like you (in which case I'd advise her to have her head examined), and so not calling back would be just plain cruel. You would at least owe her an excuse.

Answer 2

Well i don't think like that, s*x should be a pleasure between two partners, not a chore or a "service".

Unless shes a prostitute, then it would be considered a service!

Answer 3

I hate it when people act like a woman is "giving her body to the man" during s*x...Isn't it mutual, haha?

s*x is more about sharing bodies...Not "giving" or "using" something.  

Just don't get involved with women who feel that way, but sometimes it's hard to tell what kind of sexual views someone possesses....

Answer 4

The idea that s*x is a service is a result of several factors. My grandmother, who helped to raise me, once sat me down and explained "the birds and the bees" to me. She said that when I got married it would be part of my "duty" to "take care" of my husband's "needs." She said that men really like it and need it but that it was just work to her. This old-school idea, that women can't enjoy s*x and that men have "needs" which are the responsibility of women to, as you say, "service" is one part of why people see it as a service.

There is also a movement to decriminalize prostitution and sexwork. Many proponents of this movement phrase it as a "service" as opposed to a "product." In the economic world there are products (things you buy) and services (actions you pay someone to do). Since in prostitution you aren't buying the woman's body, only the action that her body does, it is called a "service."

You are right, you are giving your body to any woman you sleep with. (As a side note, I always thought the term "put out" was backwards. If you think about it, men put out, women take in. LOL, it's all doublespeak.) The fact that men are vulnerable through sexuality is not often recognized. It's certainly a valid issue many men's movement activists deal with.

Another aspect however (and I'm not referring to you personally here) is that a lot of guys either don't know how to pleasure a woman or don't care if they do. The latter category of guys are just insecure and ffed up. The former kind of guy, who doesn't know how, is usually more well intended.

You see, guys are "supposed" to know all about s*x already, so a lot of guys feel pressure to perform and to be good in bed but they feel bad asking if they are doing it right. Women and men actually enjoy different positions, movements and timing (and everyone is different, which is why communication between lovers, even one night stands, is important). In other words, what does it for a man often doesn't do it for a woman. If the woman isn't enjoying it, for whatever reason, she will feel  used, like she gave the man something and got nothing in return.

There's also this sexist idea that women are s*x dispensers and if men want s*x they can "get it" from a woman. As you said, it is an act with two people who are both giving and receiving. The notion that it is a service has not place except in sexwork, where the woman is doing it, not because she wants to, per se, but because she is being paid to. Only then, under economic conditions is it really a service that women perform for men.

Those are some of the reasons I can think of. I don't think it should be a service. I think we should all be responsible for our own s*x drives and not expect others to fulfill us, but when two people decide to share that experience, it is important that they communicate before, during, and after. It is impolite to not thank someone with whom you've shared the most intimate act. Leave a note or something.Usually guys are afraid that the girl will want a relationship and it will get all sticky. This can be preempted if you're upfront before the fact about what your intentions are.

Answer 5

I don't think s*x is a "service".  s*x is something that should be personal between two people.  Casual or not.  It's only a service when you pay for it.

Answer 6

s*x is different for men and women. I think in general men are more casual about s*x than women are, and by 'casual' I don't mean promiscuous, I just mean that it isn't as big of a deal. I've actually been thinking about some aspect of this a lot lately and I see it somewhat like this: It's kinda like having your body 'invaded' if you are a woman, and I don't mean that necessarily in a bad way, but would you rather poke or be poked? In my experience, my husband always wants s*x, and sometimes I comply just because I love him, not because I want to or am in the mood. Or I 'service' him in other ways, if you know what I mean.

A 'user' when it comes to s*x is a man OR woman that gives the impression of interest in more than just s*x, but then once they get it leaves. The problem is that men do it more frequently than women, although lately it seems to be evening out a little, while at the same time, the issue of the importance of s*x still seems to be much more to women than men.

Don't get so worked up about it.

Answer 7

I agree Mike. I even saw a woman who asked on here if she should demand that her boyfriend, who doesn't live with her, pay her bills because she has s*x with him.

However, you can't really assume that alot of women do this, out of the hundreds of women i've met, i've only met a few that had this ideal.

Answer 8

I have heard of men 'servicing' women but never the other way around.

Some women are just women, others are ladies.

Answer 9

Some women (and men) view s*x as a service or commodity.  This is the basis of the prostitution industry.

Others view it as a healthy expression of intimate affection.

I suggest you find a person who views s*x the same way you view it, if you want a compatible partner and a satisfying relationship.

Answer 10

It's simple. When you want to control someone, and you feel you have a commodity or service, (like s*x) then you charge. After marriage women feel THEY should dictate when and if s*x is "given" because they don't want it as often.  Therefore, if your car needs to be fixed, the mechanic fixes it, perhaps by installing a part. You need "serviced" and she wants this and that in return but NO NO NO, don't go to a cheaper mechanic and DON'T come often because she doesn't like to get her hands dirty.

Answer 11

As we all know, men instinctively know how to use women for s*x. Women have learned how to use men for s*x, because what goes around comes around. Being called a 'user' by a woman, is more than what you say as a man not being satisfied and choosing to leave. In this world there are men, and there are gentlemen.

Answer 12

There is an anwser men make up to justify why a woman just used them as a one nightstand, (s**t, w***e, hoe, hooker, etc)  just spend the night and give them a call in the morning when you get back so they dont feel like they got used. It has to do with a unconscious desire woman posses. it goes back to the  caveman days. A woman could not survive on their own and needed to have a male by her side after having a kid or in the process of making a kid. Im pretty sure as long as you show some compassion and desire to keep her around she wont hate you forever.

Answer 13

Many women are considering everything they do for men to be a service. Men should reject such women.

Many, but luckily not all of them...

The best solution for a man is to look out for a woman, who is not considering herself as the service-woman and to stay with her for a long-term relationship.

Answer 14

If they treat is as service it's probably because the man isn't rubbin her berry right!!!!

Like the song says "Tickle me and I'll tickle you back ...rrrruuuubbbb some lotion on meeee"

Answer 15

I think you misunderstood her. The women who consider it a "service" are most likely traditional gals who read Dr. Laura books and believe their sole purpose on this earth is to please, or to "service" their men. These type of people view relationships as business arrangements: the man is the boss and the woman is the subordinate. What do subordinates offer their bosses? Their services in exchange for money.

Answer 16

I agree with you.  But there are many men who treat it as a service or a gift.  Therefore many women believe it is such.

Answer 17

I totally disagree. What kind of a pathetic excuse for a woman would say that?

Men are serving ME! I get more pleasure than they do from s*x... Women's orgasms are better.

Answer 18

Oh man, the whole A woman's body is a temple line pisses me off.

Yeah, I agree, the whole service thing is annoying. Probably something implanted by society because they can't handle the fact that girls actually...GASP Like and want s*x like men too! O NOEZ OUR PURE VIRGINS! NOT OUR PURE VIRGINS!

But i'm sorry, I can't really explain cause I agree.

Answer 19

Some women think everything they do with/for a man is a service to him.  I don't know why, because these are often the same women who think men should do certain things for men "just because" he's a man.  I guess these are women with severe victim mentality issues, who think that they're still oppressed.

You're getting attacked because of who you are.  That's why so few people are actually thinking about what they're answering, and why I'll get a lot of thumbs down for taking it seriously myself.

Answer 20

I think religious or godly women see everything they do for a man a service.  

You need to get yourself a naughty feminist girl, Mikey.

Fex  ;-)

(Btw - if I told you you have a nice body....   )

Answer 21

This is not universal.   Its probably one of those women you think is on earth to be a s*x object.     Objects probably think they are to provide a service.  For example:  I have a refrigerator- its job is to keep my food cold.    

But a woman who expects to be a partner in a relationship knows she is getting as much as she gives.

Answer 22

They thank it is a service and not only s*x but every thing else to. they do this because to them it justifies the ends to there means................. you now owe them and if married you will pay up and that is what it is all truly about. if not married yet they are just practicing for when they will be. this is yet another reason why i am against marriage.

Answer 23

I know that there are feminists who answer with hurt feelings in response to your question, but from a completely rational standing I'd have to say that the woman who answered your question answered without really thinking about it.

Honestly, some women probably do see s*x with them as a "service" because the way men about s*x.  It's hard for a woman NOT to get conceited when all these guys act so eager to sleep with her.  

Eventually, what should be a mutual service to both parties, ends up where one party finds themselves so great that they think it's the other party who really benefits from the action.

Men get like this too.  Which is why you have guys who don't call back.  It's just men are less vocal in their complaints than women are, and we as a society tend to sympathize with women more easliy than men.

Answer 24

Mike if a women is giving it to you for free...it's Charity not a service.