Why do some angry adoptees want to ban adoption?

Question

I mean are they so angry they cannot see that adoption can benifit many? Can they not see outside their own "pain" that not everyone in the adoption industry is evil, not every decision to relinquish was forced? Do they honestly believe the foster care system is preferable? Or are they being influenced by b mothers groups, whose recollections of events may be hazed by regret and guilt?

Answer 1

I believe you already asked this question.  Perhaps if you actually read the answers to the question last time you asked it, you might get a little insight into other adoptees' points of view:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

If, that is, you are interested in anyone's opinion, other than your own.

Answer 2

I feel like it's a very common thing now-a-days for people to be very selfish and dwell in their own pain or ideas. I agree with you that it doesn't make sense. If adoption were to be banned what would happen to unwanted children who parents didn't want... abortion rates would be much higher which is unacceptable and children being raised in unfit homes as well would be a BIGGER problem than it is even now. I sympathize with their pain but adoption gives the gift of life to people who can't receive it on their own and also saves the life of unborn children. I know many adopted people who are extremely happy with their lives and some of them do not even care to know their real parents. I don't see how the foster care system would be preferable either, rather than a stable family they will jump from family to family as the get older becoming more unwanted by the foster care industry. That would be pain... i don't think they've thought about that...

Answer 3

Okay, no need to be nasty to my b-mom. Without her i would not be here. Now, there is a need for reforms in the adoption system. For a number of reasons. Adoptive parents don't need to be taken advantage of by greedy adoption agencies, or by sly b-parents(unfortunately there are some).

On your next nasty comment about foster care. You don't think those kids deserve a home too? Or is just babies that deserve homes? ALL kids deserve good homes, no matter age, race or gender!

Answer 4

Hey i am all for adoption just not for the birth parents wanting to stay in there lives or coming back after they are a little older and think that the child owes them something so they should be able to see them. Just because you have a child does not make you a mom or dad. Roaches have babies every day but they arent parents. As soon as they hatch they scatter. So birth parents are no bettter than a roach. Adoption saved my life. Every one is wanted by someone . Think Adoption!

Answer 5

Now I'm a regretful, hazy, roach. Has it ever occured to you that it's not adoption at all they want to stop. That maybe it's the selling of children for astronomical prices, the homes that treat their adopted children as indentured servants, the adoptions that AREN'T good ones. Have you thought that maybe it's because they dont' want other helpless kids treated the way they were, tht maybe they want them all to have good homes. I have NEVER heard an adoptee say they wanted adoption banned. YOU DO NOT LISTEN. And I'm not remorsefull. I may be hazy but that comes with age. I made my choice yes I said choice and I stuck by my agreement to NEVER look for my daughter. I have been in a very successful reunion for 9 years now. Why do you think that is. Because my daughter wanted, wanted, did you hear me WANTED to know me. It has been the most fulfilling thing in her life to have found her father and myself. She did it not us.

You know if you had to wear a bow on the top of your head for the rest of your life maybe you would have an idea of what it feels like to be a GIFT. GET A CLUE

Answer 6

I don't think that adoption should be banned. Anyone who is thinking about placing a child for adoption should be educated and counseled on how this decision is going to affect everyone. Something that was not available to me and yes, maybe some of my recollections are hazy, but the majority of them is still painfully clear every time I hear my daughters voice and remember the birthdays I missed. Yes, my choice and my decision. Shame on me!

Answer 7

I was physically and emotionally abused as an adopted child.  I am not bitter for the fact that I was adopted, but because of the fact that nobody ever asked me what I wanted (I was six at the time of adoption) and was subject to a childhood of pain and suffering at the hands of these people.  Children do not have a choice in their adoption.  I am not against adoption but I am against not giving the child a chance to speak for themselves.  We are always told that "we are chosen" or "lucky."  Like we came from a pound or the supermarket.  I never heard my adoptive parents' natural born children told they were "chosen" or "lucky" and that they had to be "grateful" for what they had.

Frankly, with the abuse (emotionally and physically) I suffered at the hands of my adoptive parents, I remember vividly as child wanting to go back to foster care.  Nobody asked me though and it took years of therapy, and to cut off my adoptive family, to finally love and appreciate who I am.   Wish we could choose like we were "chosen."

Answer 8

I've never heard of any effort to ban adoption, by anyone.  Perhaps reform?  That I could see, but I seriously doubt a logical adoptee or anyone is going to say that all adoption is wrong.

Answer 9

Adultadoptees.org is not an anti-adoption site.  

You clearly have an axe to grind and a lot of anger that you need to work on.  I hope you can find some peace somewhere.

Answer 10

unless you are, in fact, a "B mother", i would suggest you keep your trap shut.

how dare you to assume for one second that anything is "hazed".

SHAME on you.

Answer 11

I guess you can call me "angry" too, because i want adoption reform.

I'm an aparent, do you really think i'd support adultadoptees.org if they all wanted their adoptive parents dead?

I have actually hung out there and know what i'm talking about.  Adultadoptees.org is an awesome place where the focus is on the adoptees, where it should be.

Anyway, I've never heard an adoptee say that they want to ban adoption.  I've also never heard an adoptee say they wish their aparents were dead either.  (in regards to your last answer)

peace