Why do some brides "allow" or not "allow" their fiance things that he might want at the wedding?

Question

It's his day too as much as it is hers. The word 'allow' is what parents do their children or masters do to slaves. Not what husbands and wives (should) do to each other since they are equals. They obviously chose each other, accepting and embracing each other's individuality, be it quirks or personal taste. So why is the wedding day supposedly all about what the bride wants and s***w the groom? Why even have a wedding if she's going to be marrying herself and what he wants and says doesn't matter at all? Yes the bride may have more of an emotional investment since she is often doing the majority of the planning, but still why treat the groom like a pile of dirt simply because his ideas and wishes may not fit her perfect fantasy from when she was 5?

Answer 1

I certainly made sure that I asked my husband his opinion. I wanted the day to be special for both of us - not just me. Most of the time his answer was, "Whatever you want honey" - but he did give me a lot of input with certain things.

I don't know why brides don't "allow" their groom to have what they want at the wedding. Seems silly to me since it's supposed to be a day about uniting the two of you together.  

Answer 2

Because they are controlling, manipulative, bridezillas.

When brides saying they are allowing their fiance's to do this or that, I think "What are you, his mother?"

My fiance' and I have a loving relationship based on mutual consideration and respect. WE're planning a wonderful wedding that reflects our heritage and personalities, and despite the fact he's pretty nonchalant about the planning process, I still seek his opinion on things.

I want our wedding to be OUR day--a celebration of who were are, the love we share, and the family and friends we call our own--not MY day.

Answer 3

Alot of grooms don't really care what the wedding is like. They just want the bride to be happy and have her day. If the groom has something specific he needs to let her know and they can talk about it. Maybe his idea was totally out of line with the rest of the decor or something.  

Answer 4

Women focusing too much on planning a public wedding and not enough time planning a private marriage.

My wife is better and happier planning and decorating and working with ideas. I am better and happier at executing and getting things done.

Like our wedding, I found the caterer and got it reserved and all arranged after she chose the menu. On our house, she picked the colors while I did the painting. She did what made her happier, and I did what made me happier.

Answer 5

I think, a lot of grooms actually are relieved to be spared all the details of wedding preparation.  

Answer 6

You are right it is a crime the way these brides behave and should be a huge red flag to the fiance but they just seem to walk right into the trap

Answer 7

Ha, Im the bride and my fiance wont "allow" me to do c**p.

Answer 8

If two people are locked in a struggle to rule -- rather than working out compormises and negotiating differences -- even before the wedding takes place then I foresee that at least one person isn't going to be very happy in the relationship. If the only way to get along with somebody is always do everything her (or his) way, is that person deserving of your hand in marriage? Unless you're either a part of The Wedding Industry (It's all about YOU honey, so spend spend spend!) or have an overwhelming sense of entitlement then you understand that a wedding is about two entire families PLUS all the guests as well!

Answer 9

What you describe is basically immaturity and selfishness.

Obviously the bride and groom should be planning the wedding together, and with their families, too, so it's a good mesh of how they want to host their guests on that special day.