Why do some *care* so much about how others save up for or get money for adoptions?

Question

Why do some *care* so much about how others save up for or get money for adoptions?

Answer 1

Because some people don't like adoption altogether.  

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For the person who called me demented:  I think it's the other way around.  During my homestudy, I had to prove I was mentally stable and emotionally balanced...  how about you?

Answer 2

Because a lot of women GIVE UP their children because they do not have much money, and are convinced (by the agencies and society) that their child will have a better life with their adopters.

How hard is it, really, to save 25K?  Not too difficult in the US.   I'll tell you how: the couple works full time, and both people live off ONE income for a year. The other could work at Wal-Mart and make 25K/yr.  C'mon people!

Now, infertility cannot be controlled, but when couples cry that they don't have the money, it tells me a couple things.  They are either not responsible OR resourceful.  So how will they pay for college for this child?  Have another donation drive?  At what point do these prospective parents manage their own wants and desires? If they can't save when they're WITHOUT kids, how will they save with kids?!  Hel-lo?  

And, (other than illness, disease, or an act-of-God disaster) when is it acceptable for people to ask others to finance things for them?  Is it because it's seen as CHARITY for the poor, adopted kids?

Because that thinking is backwards.  With ONE healthy, white baby (which is what these folks are quoting prices for) to every 90 couples--who is the charity case?  The baby in demand, or the able-bodied adults who can't seem to get it together to do what it takes to earn money for what they want?!

I'll let you cogitate on that...

Answer 3

I say get the money however you can. Do a yard sale, ask friends and family for donations, sell your cars, mow lawns, heck, ask your church for donations....who cares. The bottom line is adoption costs alot money and every little bit helps.

There are ALOT of negative people on here who hate the adoption process all together and think that it is a scummy business that steals babies from innocent teenagers and overcharges people for profit.

I say get the money however you can using legal means! Good luck.

Answer 4

I had no clue that people cared so much about it I think its none of there buisness

Answer 5

i'm no charity case. asking for donations or doing fundraising, demotes a child who is adopted as a charity case in my eyes. I could be wrong, but that is my personal feelings.

Answer 6

I wasn't aware that people cared so much about it. in my personal opinion. it is not anyone's problem or business as to how they are saving.

Answer 7

I don't care how people get money for their adoptions, as long as they aren't begging friends/family or even strangers to help pay for it.

I think it is really tacky to expect other people to help you expand your family.  

If my husband and I were to go through fertility treatments, do you think it would be nice of us to send out announcements saying :

Guess what!  We are having trouble conceiving!  So we are looking into fertility treatments, which are rather costly.  We are so looking forward to adding a child to our family and would be so grateful to you if you would make a donation to help pay for the fertility treatments.

Kind of tacky right?  

So why is it acceptable for PAP's to do the same thing? (though obviously worded way differently, but pretty much the same point...having trouble conceiving, wanting to expand the family, but it costs soo much money etc.)

If you can't save the money it would take to adopt...don't adopt.  Why is that such a hard concept to get?  

Oh, I forget, adoption is "saving" children, and of course we need to guilt people into helping us save them.  (No matter that children are almost always better off with people who share their biology....except in cases of neglect/abuse etc.)

Answer 8

That answer is very easy= some people do not like adoption.  I cannot personal understand that , because i am adopted and have 2 adopted kids- however some actually think that if you spend any money on adopting a child, you are actually paying to steal a child- WHICH IS WRONG.  People who have their own children, have to pay as well.

Answer 9

People only care about where the money comes from when the pap's make it other people's business by asking for money!

Answer 10

I'll tell you why it bothers me.

Because many people lose their children to adoption because of poverty.

And it hurts me to see everyone turning their backs onto them, and not helping them out, but donating money to help strangers adopt the children.

Answer 11

I was raised to believe that money wasn't something that you talked about or advertised.  

I don't tell people how much money I make.  I don't like to talk about how much our adoption cost, except to point out that not ALL international programs are $50K and over.  

I think it's in bad taste to fundraise for something personal like that.  I don't believe in fundraising to buy a car, go to college or even a vacation home in Costa Rica.  

I have always wondered something, though.  There is a tax credit for adoptions, after finalization.  So when the APs get money back in taxes, do they return it to the people who donated?

Answer 12

I don't know, I just feel that it's pretty tacky to expect other people to pay for the kid you are adopting.

I mean, if you want to save up for it yourself, have at it.

But people who think they shouldn't have to pay for it or go asking for donations and setting up paypal accounts?

There are women who are convinced to GIVE UP their children because they don't have a lot of money.  

And then their kids are being adopted by people who have to go begging for the funds to ADOPT THEM?  WTF???

So much for that "better life".  They'd be just as well off with their not-so-rich bio-parents!

Answer 13

Who cares? Just get your baby and raise him or her RIGHT and be happy =) just obviously NOTHING illegal!!! GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 14

I would never give money to even my most beloved friends and family to enable them to prey on poor families.  That's why.