Why do some friends say they care about you when they really don't? Advice.?

Question

I have a friend I'll call "Judy". Judy lives about 35 minutes from me in another state. She told me this morning that she was in my neck of the woods this past Saturday. I knew nothing about it. She claimed she "forgot" where I lived. She said she called my house to let me know, but my machine picked up so she didn't leave a message and just hung up and went to get her nails done (cheapest prices around) at a shopping center a few minutes up the road. This doesn't make any sense to me because she has to pass my street in order to get to the shopping center. She remembered how to get to a nail place, but she can't remember how to get to my house? After she got her nails done, she went home. I was home all day on Saturday so I know she never called me after that. She constantly says she wants to see me, but yet when the chance arises she makes excuses. Plus my Mom's house is on the same roadway and she didn't even go over there to see if I was there. She drove right pass the house to get her nails done. She made no additional effort to see me at all. That doesn't sit right with me. I would have rather not have known that she was here at all. This is not the first time this has happened. There have been times she would drive from her state to mine to go to a Mall or restaurant out here. She has to drive past my area to get to that same mall.I would never know until later about it. What kind of friend is that? She only seems to call me when she is scared, hurt or wants to gloat about her full bank account. She is a part time friend and I am sick of it. I would rather her leave me alone. If she really wanted to see me she would have called me that morning saying I am on my way can you tell me where you live. DUUH! What is your advice?

Answer 1

You do not need 'part time' friends like that, BUT....

you need to be your own friend and not depend on USERS like her.

Get some self regard training and learn to be independent of USERS...

http://www.google.com/search?client=oper...

Answer 2

It doesn't sound like a friendship to me either.  Do you have caller ID? Doesn't that tell you if she really called?  

If you could afford to, I'd have my number changed and just let her be a part of my past!  

It's obvious she doesn't care to see you. So, instead of getting pissed about it, put an end to it, like she has.  Then you don't need to hear about excuses.  And you won't be there just as her sounding board.

I've had 2 so called friends in my past who were just like this.  It hurts when your heart is in the relationship and their's isn't.  

Make changes to suit you. The next time she calls, if she does, just tell her how you feel and hang up.  Don't even think of turning it around where your making excuses to talk to her, just end it. Or it will be a vicious circle and you'll get no where.

Answer 3

Your so called "friend" really isn't a friend at all. Trust me you are better without her.

Answer 4

You are so right. She is not a "caring" friend, maybe an associate. She is wanting something you have and is bragging on herself to make it seem like she is doing well when she is battling within herself.  

Answer 5

What is that old saying... your friends don't care and your enemies are glad it's happening?  I get the same thing.  Seems like when any one of my friends has a problem, I'm the first person they come to.  But, when the tables are turned they are nowhere to be found.  

Friend of my is getting divorced.  Told her after all the times she blew me off that if she or her husband need to talk, I'm here for them.  She hasn't called me to talk since and I ran into her husband a few days ago and she never mentioned it to him.  Hmmm... wonder why?!?!?

Answer 6

I have gone through the same thing with friends. The only time they call or come over is when they need something. The best advice for you is the next time she calls or comes over tell her how you feel. It may be possible that she doesn't realize what she is doing. If nothing changes then move on. You would probably be better off without her as a friend.

Answer 7

She still calls you whenever she needs you. Whether she wants to be your friend or no, but you still give your friendship to her, by talking to her whenever she needs. That is a good enough reason to continue the friendship.

Its a wonderful thing that, she needs you, at times for whatever reason, and you are there that time when she calls.

Friendship is all about giving. You touch one life, that is better than not touching any. Your doing good, be as sweet to her always.

It is difficult though, but you have been doing it, and you are doing it right. So just keep doing what is right. Your precious as Emerald!

Answer 8

Because they don't want to hurt your feelings. Simple as THAT !

Answer 9

I can't even think of any... other than to call "Judy" and tell her to loose your number if she isn't going to be a real friend.

But, to be honest... Most people are more like an acquaintance that a friend. She clearly isn't a true friend, and why waste your time (and your points!) trying to figure this one out.

Not to worry, you'll meet someone who is going to be a genuine friend, and in my experiences, they are there as your rock, just to listen, to hang out, to chat or just to offer a hug when needed.