Why do some men react negatively to the concept that they have emotions?

Question

Why does the statements:

men and women both have emotions.

and the men are trained to not show emotions.

Get such negative reactions from some men.

Shouldn't that be something men would want to fight for?

Your rights are being taken yet you not only let them you encourage it and bully it away from other men.

It's not even just a "right" it's part of who you are as a human.

The whole "men don't show emotion" "boys don't cry" is literally a fashion trend. Started in england during the Victorian era.

yet men allow society to continue to tell them who they are and what they are feeling.

What are you guys thinking?

Answer 1

Because men are not supposed to show their true feelings. The only real feelings that we are "allowed" to show are anger and happiness. All fear and sadness is to be concealed.

The reason it is happening is because we as creatures are social beings. Even the most "liberated" person still reacts to social stipulations in some sense.

Answer 2

We express our emotion differently.  Women just don't understand it..

Answer 3

I'm all about showing emotions for legitimate reasons, such as the loss of a loved one.  When I see people crying around the office because they don't get their way however, I am perturbed.  There's no place for that from a man or a woman.

Answer 4

Men are taught that they are "better" than women and that it is a "man's world" so why would men ever want to question the rules of masculinity? Boys clamor to be men, even if it breaks their bodies and destroys them emotionally. All human beings, unless they are pathological, have the full range of emotions. By distancing themselves from their emotions men can feel "superior" to women and "weak" men. "Logic" is supposedly the male domain. The problem is that logic doesn't really exist. All logic is based on reason and information. Reason is flawed because epistemologically, we cannot "know" anything with certainty since all information is flawed because all information exists as a result of perception and perception is flawed. The only area in which logic seems to be real is in mathematics, but all mathematics is dependent on theorems, which are basically rules we made up and agreed not to question.

Philosophy aside, however, men get benefits from appearing emotionless. It is a source of pride and believed superiority, but it comes at a great cost. By denying your emotions you cut away vital and necessary parts of your humanity. You lie to your self and to the world. You cripple yourself in relationships with those you love. You become isolated, fear and pain become anger, addiction, criminal behavior and higher rates of suicide.

Most men aren't interested in questioning what they think makes them better than others. They would rather live dishonest, numb, or destructive lives than accept that they are equal to others. It is truly tragic.

Many blame girls for humiliating boys over expressing emotion, but the fact remains that most of the acculturation comes from men. This is the "vital contribution" that men can make to their children, to teach their sons that they are "superior" to their daughters if they can become callous enough, dishonest enough, less human, more violent, etc. Males perpetuate the violence and dehumanization against themselves, in the quest for superiority and power. This phenomenon has been responsible for more suffering throughout human history than any other.

The ability to feel and express emotions authentically is what allows us to experience compassion and empathy. It is what keeps us from destroying our own species. The drive toward extinction, through violence and ecological destruction, is a direct result of the male obsession with power and the willingness to live as a cripple and a liar to achieve it.  

Answer 5

They are socially conditioned not to show any emotions. Some of them are so tangled up in presentation of superhuman emotional numbness, they completely ignore their emotions for a while. However, they can not fool themselves for long: heart attacks, strokes, and other extreme stress related health problems inescapable result of self denial. However, if that is what makes them happy, who are we to say otherwise...

Answer 6

"yet men allow society to continue to tell them who they are and what they are feeling"

Actually no. You're asking use to allow female ideologues to continue to tell us who we are and what we are feeling.

If a man wants to show emotions, then go ahead. I don't think guys who want to show emotion hold it back.

Answer 7

I don't see this as a "fashion trend". It exists in basically every culture world wide. Men do not cry (few exceptions ie. death of a loved one), and boys seek to be men, thus imitate this...

I doubt you would find many men that feel that society has forced anything on them. Most men cannot stand to be around "emotional" men...

Answer 8

It's true, some men have been told since boyhood, Big boys don't cry.

But this isn't something that is soley a man's domain either. I was also told Big girls don't cry. Don't be a wuss. I don't stay on the phone for hours discussing a problem, but I will call friends for ideas to resolve it.

Answer 9

What kind of emotion are you looking for?  Men show their emotions all the time actually, women just don't like the way we show our emotions.

For example...when it comes to problems and stuff...We're not going to call our friends and sit there and talk for 5 or 6 hours about one d**n problem.  That doesn't solve the problem unless it's a plan.

I think we express our emotions through action and working them out.  I wonder if women are too silly to see it :P

Answer 10

Women want men to be just as emotional as they are. Women try to encourage men to be emotional, women tell men "it's ok to cry" ask them how they're feeling and everything.

Women are fighting for men's emotions more then men are... and frankly it seems like men just don't care either way.

What does this tell you? Maybe that men just aren't as emotional as women and have less of a need to express them because there isn't as many emotions to express or men express them in a different way than women.

You said: "yet men allow society to continue to tell them who they are and what they are feeling."

I think when women insist that men should express their feelings and they should fight to do so, something they probably don't feel the need to do, they are telling men who they are and what they're feeling. Men already do express their emotions, I'm wondering, why is it that women aren't noticing?

Answer 11

I loose respect for anyone whose rationality and morality supersede their ability to feel.

emotion is what makes us human... take it away and we're daleks

Answer 12

Yeah, ok, but who reared those men?...  You should check out this book - Emotional Intelligence.  It will answer lots of questions on this subject.

To answer your question, it is what they have been taught by whoever raised them.  So, most likely, their mother.  Why don't mothers teach their boys to express their feelings (cause we know they got them unless they're psychos) might be a better question.

Answer 13

You know I once talked to a therapist because I had become accustomed to burying my emotions so deep that I could not allow myself to feel.  The emotions were not gone, they were just coming out in other forms.  The day I was able to give myself permission to be angry I felt like poison boiled out of me.  When I was finally able, after years, to cry in front of another person, they held me and listened for hours.

Whether you are male or female, withholding your emotions is not healthy.  There is nothing bad about feeling and nothing manly or womanly about not showing emotions.  I am not talking about going overboard or manipulating, but showing honest feelings.

My partner and I am sentimental old fools and we love it.  We go through a box of Kleenex a week.  We cried when Phelps broke the record for number of gold metals for an Olympic Athlete.  We cried watching American pop.  We cry when we hear a great song we both love.  We do not sit around bawling, its just a tear, and one we can understand and share.  I call it our leaky eye syndrome.  

It is something very human about both of us.

Answer 14

I don't believe what you are saying, its just an old stereotype, I'm perfectly happy with my range of emotions, I have found that I express myself more directly and honestly than most women I have known but I won't burst into tears for no reason or become volatile at certain times of the month. listen, our brains are different, ok, men and women are different, it might be true that your female brain and your experience is at the male end of the spectrum but you are one of the exceptions.

http://news.scotsman.com/health/Revealed...

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/73318...

Its ridiculous that we are expected to p***y foot around the facts just to hold up your ideology.  

Answer 15

Upbringing, false cultural values, false ideas.

We ALL as humans men and women, feel the SAME way. The difference is that men are taught to express it one way, and women to express it another way, but in essence we all feel the SAME way...hey..we are ALL humans!

Answer 16

Just because women want men to cry all the time doesn't mean they deny having emotions. h**l maybe women should cry a little less and maybe more people would take you seriously :P

Answer 17

I think I'd rather be pent up then be the polor opposite and thrust my emotions on the world and think everyone has to walk on eggshells around my feelings.

Answer 18

Why would we want to fight to be more emotional? That would be like fighting to have my hands tied behind my back.

What is so great about being emotional. I think most men can see that being emotional is a weakness and they are right.

Being so tied up in your emotions hinders a person from getting done those unpleasant things that must be done.

Why are the women's value on emotion more important than a man's value on being free of it?

Answer 19

Probably for the same reason that some women react negatively to the concept that they have emotions. . . you know, the darn things really do get horribly in the way of what you're trying to do sometimes.

I positively suck at emotions, and I'm female.  They're usually so far disjointed from the actual triggers for them that it's just frustrating and I could therefore happily (wait, that's an emotion) often do without them.

Answer 20

We dont have issues with the concept of having emotions.

We do with the BS about showing them.

Answer 21

Been watching too many bad movies I guess.

Answer 22

i think this applies to both genders in the US and it's a problem that's been growing since mental hospitals in the 1920's would pay families to institutionalize their family members.  Generally, we're afraid that any display of emotion, even what should be considered an appropriate emotional response, might be deemed as proof of emotional instability.  nobody wants to be branded 'crazy'.

Answer 23

I hate not being able to show emotions. I mean, I don't cry at the drop of a hat or anything, but I've literally had to rely on my own as far as emotions are concerned. I'm an only child and when I felt down in the dumps when I was little, my parents told me to shut up and not cry. My mom was the same way as my dad pretty much.

I'm grateful because I'm a bit independent now, but at the same time, it would be very nice when I can actually trust someone to let me come out of my shell sometimes.

Answer 24

We don't react negatively at all, that would require emotions!

Answer 25

Because is a characteristic associated to feminine behavior.

Answer 26

It seems that some of the guys think showing more emotion equates turning into a dithering sap. The idea should be to find a balance.

Answer 27

Crying seems like a very narrow definition of emotion.

There's a whole wide range of emotions that men show, ranging from lust to anger.

Repression of certain emotions per gender upholds the gender dichotomy that we are so familiar with.

Women are not to show anger, men are not to show sadness, etc.

And yes, this is definitely a cultural trend. In many cultures gender roles are different or even reversed and a different range of emotions may be repressed according to gender or other characteristics.

By breaking down these stereotypes we slowly become closer to allowing a greater variety of gender expressions.

Answer 28

We all have emotions, but learning to control your emotions is a form of social grace and maturity whether you are a male or female.  

Answer 29

I loose respect for anyone whose emotions supercede their ability to think rationally and morally.

Answer 30

I'm female and resent the fact I have emotions, and I resent showing them also.

Answer 31

i cried during lion king :P and my sisters to this day make fun of me XX