Why do some parents act as if their kids are accessories?

Question

I saw a question today where a mom was upset that her daughter's grandparents took her to get her hair cut. Nothing at all was mentioned about how the girl felt about the hair, just how the mother felt.

Why do people act as if their children are here to look good for them and don't bother to consider the child's opinion?

Answer 1

Parent. Child. Parent. Child. We shouldn't let our children do whatever they want just because it isn't permanant. Should we let a 6 year old go to school in hotpants, fishnet stockings and heavy makeup if they decided they wanted to do that? Sorry, green hairdye on a child just isn't appropriate. Green hairspray however would be ok. The haircut thing could seem a bit extreme but there could be circumstances involved you know? When my son was a baby he had a headful of curls, his father always said that he'd love him to keep his curls and not get them chopped. When he passed away a few months later, my sons ever growing curly hair made me happy every time i looked at it even though everyone would tell me to get his haircut because he looked like a girl and i went a long time before getting his haircut. I only did when my son specifically asked me for a haircut. Try not to be too judgmental, not everyone is coming from a shallow narcisistic point of view.

Answer 2

I was wondering the same thing. I think the mother may have been more mad about not consulting her first. I'd be mad if someone, even if it were my parents, cut my daughter's hair without asking me. And if the grandparents took the kid to get their haircut, they were probably a younger child. (4 or 5.) 4 and 5 is too young to even have an opinion on how they should cut their hair anyway, so it honestly doesn't matter how the child felt. But if he/she were 10/11, then yeah, it would matter.

I think people should mind their own business, though. I mean seriously, who wants their kids to look terrible, anyways?

Answer 3

I agree that parents shouldn't treat kids as property, however I believe that the issue the mother you are talking about had is that someone else took a decision that should have been hers and made it about a power trip.  Some grandparents try to act as though their grandchildren are theirs.  There's more to this issue than how the girl feels about the hair, it's the trust between the 2 adults.  If it's haircuts one day, will it be ear piercings the next?  

  If the child says they like it, then it's not so bad.  The mother did say that they were trying to grow it long, so presumably the child wanted that.  But children don't always know what they want, (maybe she would want pink hair) so adults have to take over.  

My child isn't my property, but I am her carer, and I would be very unhappy if someone altered her appearance without talking to me first.

Answer 4

I think you are reading way too much into the question.  The mother was not simply upset that the grandparents got her daughter a bad haircut - its that they did it without her permission.   Nowhere did she sound like she acting like her child was an accessory.

I take insult to your question since her predicament would have upset me as well.  I certainly do not think of my children as accessories.  And while I do take into consideration my child's opinion, I get the final say at my children's ages.  If my four year old daughter wants to dye her hair pink, I"m going to veto that.  If my 5 year old son wants a mohawk for his new school haircut, I'm going to veto that as well.  If my 7 year old son wants to get a tattoo, I sure as heck am going to veto that.    

I take pride in my appearance as well as my childrens, and I don't see anything wrong with that.  I certainly don't act like they are my property.      

Answer 5

Because some of us don't want our children walking around looking like idiots with blue hair and mohawks.

Common sense.

Answer 6

you would dye your childs head green wouldnt you?

children are not adults that can do anything they want.

its the parents right who says what goes for they re child no one else!

if her mom didint want that done to her child then the grandparents have no right!

would u like if someone take your 5 year old and pierced they re body?!

i dont think so..

Answer 7

Parents need to stop acting as if their kids are their property.

^ LOL...but they are.