Why do some parents get their kids to call adults Auntie or Uncle when they are just their friends?

Question

I know people who get their kids to call adults Auntie or Uncle as a sign of respect. My daughter is nearly 3 and is respectful. She says please and thank you and I introduce people to her by their names. She calls her real Aunties and Uncles - Auntie .... and Uncle ....

My in-laws call everyone Auntie and Uncle and I've asked them to stop. Why can't parents let their children just use their names?

I know my sister in law does it with her friends to show that they are more special so she gets her son to call her friends Auntie. I told my best mate that she is special and we agreed that our kids will just use our names.

Answer 1

Why do some pet owners tell their pets that they are their mummy/daddy? thats just plain wrong!

Answer 2

I think it's a respect thing. When i was a child i was raised to call all of my family friends auntie or uncle. Now i have a a child, although he is only 4 months old i refer to family friend as 'auntie and uncle' as i just think it is more respectful than for him to call his elder by their first names.

I suppose its one of those personal preference things, as my father would insist that i called his friends 'auntie or uncle' however my mother would let me call her friends by their first names.

Answer 3

Hi I know what you mean and I just think its silly and confuses the child, I think that only god mothers and fathers and sisters and brothers should be called aunties and uncles if they prefer it that way.

I hate when some mothers or fathers are in a relationship and because they have been in it for a while they get there kids to call there partner anutie/uncle, but to be that has always looked odd as an anntie or uncle is a brother or sister or close friend of the family, who is there godmother/father, not someone who get up in the same bed as your dad or mum /partner, I think it just looks wrong,

and a child should only call the blood relatives and godmothers etc aunties not just friends of the family who they have only just met. etc

I dont mind if my nephew called me by my first name and not but auntie in front of my name, as Im still related by blood etc, so its doesnt matter to me, I never called my aunties and uncles then there names. My hubby does and stil does it to this day as he thinks its disrespectful not to, but I think doing it when you are an adult is childish, and can look odd lol but its the way he has been borught up,. he has been told by one uncle that he can just call him by his first name now, but he said it doesnt feel right lol  

Answer 4

My kids call my close adult friends Auntie and Uncle - but that's because they're all their Godparents, so I want them to feel a connection to them.

Each to their own, I'm not knocking you for not doing it.

Answer 5

It just depends on your family I guess. My Malaysian friends call everyone Auntie and Uncle - even strangers. The bathroom attendant is "Auntie" and so on. It just depends on what you're used to.  

Answer 6

Oi Minki!

I fink it's term of endearment.......

I used to call a mate of my old man's 'Uncle' John........

I still calll him Uncle John today..... which is a bit embarrassing cos now I'm a 61 year old millionaire!

xx

Answer 7

I don't know, my fiances enormous family call family friends aunty and uncle, I just find it confusing as it took a while to work out who was actually related and who wasn't. My family don't do that and I won't do it either but if the in-laws want to I don't really mind.

Answer 8

I've always called my godmother auntie she is really just my mum's school friend but obviously I have known her all my life and it seems wrong to call her by just her first name, I suppose its what you grow up with and get used to, there is no wrong or right.

Answer 9

My children call my best friend Auntie. We have been friends before either of us had children and she's like a sister to me. Her daughter in turn calls me Auntie.

My husbands sister's children also call me Auntie and yet are no more blood related to me than my friend's child and if I had to choose between them believe me I'd take my so called niece over my "real" nieces any day of the week.

In my case for my children to call my friend Auntie is a sign of love and how close our relationship is. They don't call any of my other friends Auntie and I personally feel uncomfortable if my other friend's children call me that.

Answer 10

I think this goes back to the days when we called everyone Mr. Brown, Mrs Smith etc.  I was never allowed, as a child, to call any adult by their first name.  To set special people apart, we called very close friends of our parents 'auntie' or 'uncle'.  This practice is out-dated now and rather silly, I feel.

Answer 11

i agree with you, in my family your aunts and uncles are your aunts and uncles and every 1 else is who they are, children grow up knowing the way the whole relations thing work, and all the other special ppl in there lives, the children will soon realise they are very important and are as special as the real family members, after all they chose to be in your life they dont have to be there, there are just as special, as is my best friend, in fact she is closer and knows more about my children than their aunts and uncles do  

Answer 12

As a mom, this makes me crazy! Kids' friends should be calling you Mrs. Smith, not using your first name, though.

My husband is from Europe, and for close friends, they do use the Aunt/Uncle thing in their own language... but I'm not a fan.

As an Aunt many times over, I like the idea that the name is reserved for a true aunt, or one through marriage, too!

Answer 13

My best friend's daughter refers to me as her aunt to her friends.  She calls me by my first name every other time.

I spend a lot more time with her than her real aunt (who lives closer).  

Yes she is a person and yes I think she is the sharpest tool in the box, but if she wants to refer to me as that then thats her choice.  She has never been 'forced' into it.

Answer 14

I'm from italy and it is a cultural thing for us.  Special friends are called Aunt and Uncle and you generally refer to their kids as your cousins.  When I was little I grew up in a small town and my parents were very good friends with 2 other families who also had kids mine and my brothers age.  We called them Aunt and Uncle.  Now we're grown up, even though my family don't live in the town any more (I live in the UK) we still see each other loads and all of the kids have had kids of their own.  My daughter calls my 'cousins' Aunt and Unlce as their kids do me.

I love it - makes us feel like a family as well as good friends.  Its about a sense of community

Answer 15

I know of some like that I guess they like to make their closest friends feel closer to their kids .... my best mates parents wanted me to call them by name and I just felt awkward they get called uhmmm and errr a lot thoough instead now lol !!

btw I feel weird have ventured from P&S to answer this which way back ?...*wanders off*

Answer 16

I tend to agree with you, however my husband comes from an Auntie and Uncle family and as a result our children do tend to call some people by that... it is limited to close friends only though, just their Godparents really - I can cope with that I think!

Answer 17

I think it should depend on what the adult in question wants. My son's godmother is "Auntie x*x" but his aunt is called by just her first name.

I wouldn't want my kids calling me by my first name (I expect them to call me Mum), so I respect that other adults may not want them calling them by their first name either. I ask the adult in question what they'd like my kids to use. I think you're being unreasonable expecting other adults to conform to your personal choice - and I think a fair number of other adults will think your daughter is rude. Adults should not have to get used to being called something they do not want to be called by your three year old.

And if you don't think Auntie and Uncle is appropriate and will confuse her, why do you use it for her aunts and uncles?

Answer 18

Etiquette.  A dying habit, unfortunately, respect needs to start at an early age, otherwise the kids end up like these hoodies & thugs, whether you teach them please & thank you now or not.  It's the whole package.

Why stop there?  Why not cease holding doors open for people after we've been through and just lt them drop in people's faces; forget queueing, how old fashioned, let's all just bundle the cashier to get served first; why even bother with please and thank-you any more, they're only words?

Answer 19

I think it has something to do with it being presumptuous for a child to call an adult by their name.  I think it is rather pleasing when children are taught to call close family friends that are adults by the term Aunt or Uncle and most other adults by their title and surname.  It irks me when a sixteen year old in a shop calls me by my first name rather than Mr ......  I find it very unnerving when a child of an acquaintance calls me by my first name.  I think you are trying just a little bit to be more modern than is wholly wise.  I think that when you get eleven year old children  at gatherings going up to people that are friends of the family and blankly calling them by their first name it is precocious.

Answer 20

My Mum had a friend who made her daughter call my Mum Auntie, she hated it and told the girl to call her by her name but the girls mother wouldn't let her.

My Mum and her friend actually fell out over this.

My kids call their real Aunts and uncles by their Christian names

And all my Nephews and Neices call me by name they have never called me Auntie, thank God..

Answer 21

because it is a sign of respect

Answer 22

I was brought up to call 2 sets of my parents close/long standing friends auntie & uncle as spent a huge amount of time with them and rarely saw my actual aunt & uncle.

I am now an "auntie" to one of those sets of auntie/uncle, daughter's little boy (she is my closest/oldest friend). I am also auntie to my husbands niece & nephew (11 & 14) yet they do not call my husband uncle???!!

I think it is a sign of respect and also a way of extending your family out to your very close friends!! Each to their own & all that !!

Answer 23

It depends on the situation. I have a three year old half-brother who loves my mother in-law. it is no relation to him but he loves her. He calls her Auntie Pam. I don't see anything wrong with it. It's just a name. I think it is cute.

He does this to no one else though.