Why do some parents ignore their kids?

Question

I feel like my parents ignore me. Like I'll go into a room and say hi, and they act as if I never said anything... then I'll say it even louder and they dont really pay attention. It's not like they didnt hear me, they just dont respond. I remember a couple months back when i wanted to quit playing piano but i was too scared to talk to my mom in person so i wrote a note and she just got mad at me! I try to stay positive and just leave it in the past but its really starting to make me depressed. I try to get a conversation going but they just look at me. During dinner I try to talk to them but they dont really respond. Is there something wrong with me? I think I'm generally a good kid, I get straight A's, I do my homework first thing when i get home, i practice piano without being asked, I clean my room too. Sometimes I just want someone who i can tell my feelings to but i guess thats not going to happen... my friends have parents who are so easy to talk to, and they always tell them how much they love them and it always makes me jealous because i dont even remember the last time i was told "i love you." PLEASE HELP ME!

Answer 1

I'm very sorry for what you are going through right now. It may be hard to do but you are going to have to sit down w/your mom and tell her"I'm 13. I want to spend time w/you. I need my mother I love you and I miss you" She's got to do something after that. This is a very important time in your life. If you cannot get their attention try going to your local church and talking to the pastor about getting a mentor.

I hope thing improve for you. i will say a prayer for you tonight.

Answer 2

that's really sad, i think you should tell them how you feel and if they still don't listen to you, just try to be happy that at least you can do whatever you want when you get into your teen years

Answer 3

do they shower in bacon?

Answer 4

Are there any other relatives near you that you could talk to about this?  Maybe your mother and father don't realize what they are doing.  Or maybe there's something wrong.

It sounds like you're in a bad situation.  Your parents sound emotionally detached from you and this isn't a good thing.  Talk to an adult you trust about this.  Or call a teen hot line to discuss what you should do.

Perhaps you should be direct about it.  Ask them why they ignore you.  Ask them why they don't tell you that they love you.  If you are still confronted with blank stares, go to someone that you trust who will intervene.

This is not the environment that a teenager should be in.  A teen should be able to talk to their parents and have them listen to them.  This isn't a good situation.  

Either talk to them or a trusted adult and get something done about this.  This isn't wise on your parents part because if they continue it it will only have a bad effect on you.

Good luck sweetie, take care and if you ever need to talk to someone, please feel free to email me at dein_85@yahoo.  

Here is a link for a teen help line.  http://www.charlestonteenline.org/aboutu...

Answer 5

I'm sorry to hear about this.  I am a parent too.  I can base my answer on my opinion  and hope it helps.  All people have needs and need to be responded to.  Parents sometimes are wrapped up into their own needs and stress level and have forgotten or never found the need to nurture their children.  I do believe your parents love you very much.  Although it is hard for you, you should express your feelings to your parents in a letter just like you did here.  Leave it on their bed pillow.  If they do not respond, keep doing this until they do.  If there response isn't helpful, then visit the school counselor and take her advise.

Answer 6

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Is this anything you can talk with your parents about? I think I know the answer to that is "no" but I thought I'd ask anyway. Unfortunately we can't choose our own parents, but please know their behavior is their issue and not yours. They choose to act the way they do and they will most likely regret it when you're older. Please don't take how they act out on yourself. I know that's hard not to do.  

Answer 7

Ok, you made me wanna cry.

Come live with my husband and our family .... you deserve far better than what you have now!

Answer 8

D:

That's horrible!

i know that you don't want to hear another "talk to them about it"

but, I really think that you should. I know [im 13, too!]

that its hard to bring it up in conversation but remember that your

needs are important too and they'll come around when they know

how you feel.

If you don't tell them then they'll never know and it'll just be worse

for you. Im really sorry and that's no way to be treated...

<3

Casey

Answer 9

Adults have long days at work, sometimes or maybe all time they see people or do things they really would rather not have to deal with but have to.  They really don't have time to wind down so that just zone everything and everyone out.  Your parents are upset about someone or something but most likely has nothing to do with you.  The home is their only haven and they really just want to unwind without the added pressure of hearing other's troubles.  

If you finally caught their attention by writing things down on a piece of paper than go with what works.  Maybe something cold to drink or something to snack on when they get home.  maybe they will start asking you questions when you offer like a newspaper and some slippers or if you can draw your mom or dad a bath or help with preparing dinner.  At least they'll think it might be totally weird that your offering.  And then you get to talk.  

Answer 10

your 13 so take advantage of it. do what you want. don't go crazy though. try asking your parents to go to a golfing range or something, just you, your mom and your dad. Spend time with them and try to keep positive.  

Answer 11

It's not you.. I have seen this quite often. Very likely your parents didn't get attention from their own parents, weren't able to talk to them at all.. So they are just continuing the pattern. They are unable to show love and to make you feel loved.. I suspect they do love you, they just aren't able to show it, or don't know how. You sound like you are a loving person, maybe it's up to you, to teach your parents about Love and get them talking. Very likely if they don't talk much to you, they don't talk much to one another...  

Answer 12

Don't look at your self.  It sounds like maybe your parents are having marital problems.  It isn't you they just are trying to keep you out of their problems and aren't realizing what it is doing to you.  Talk to one of them alone and ask if they are having problems and tell them how you feel.  I hope this helps and always remember you are special.

Answer 13

Let me just say to you that you are doing a great job, keep up doing a great job for you.  Your future will thank you and you will receive much favor if you just continue being a great young lady.  I know it feels like forever but it really isn't that long before you will be on your own and having a family after you go to college.  You will have a great career and then you will have children so they will defiantly be loved so much since you went through this you understand communication is so valuable

Don't do anything rash for a quick fix throughout your high school years

You have to understand that when you become an adult sometimes it is just as hard so perhaps they are going through tough times and don't know how to handle it so since you are such a great person they feel so lucky knowing you are self sufficient.  They may just need you to be there for them so maybe you could say something like Mom I noticed you are sort of quiet and distracted is everything okay with you, can I do anything to make you feel better then give her a sincere loving smile and if she seems up for it give her a hug and a little kiss on the cheek but don't be alarmed if she is shocked or upset at first because she may just not have connected her behavior so give her some time to think about it and just say I am here if you need me ~ do you want something to drink I am going to go get a water or something of this nature if she doesn't want to talk at that exact moment.

Don't worry just keep doing what your doing as far as your own stuff to have a happy life and hopefully things will come around ~ you can also do the same thing with your Dad,  Go to the person you feel the most comfortable w/ of the two first & no matter what go to the second person later on but always just smile without saying anything else at your parents even if they give you nothing in return.  

Take Care and Much Favor

Oh and by the way I LOVE LOVE LOVE your name ;~)

Answer 14

wow, ur really lucky, i would love if my parents ignored me.

idk, ur parents are different i guess, try to talk with them abt this.  

Answer 15

That is so sad...........

Its DEFINETLEY NOT you

AT ALL

You did NOTHING!

And i can totally relate to that

with my dad

you sound like a good kidd

you can talk to me

=D

Anytimee

email me

Answer 16

parents can be like that and it sucks and they dont realize how its affecting your emotions. the best thing you can do is sit down next to them and be like mom dad can we talk, and say something like i feel like we dont talk enough and its getting me upset, or i got advice from someone and they told me to go into the room and be like mom, dad and if they dont say anything be like fine i was gonna tell you something but never mind now, that should grab their attention. & if your mom noticed the note, maybe even writing a letter & taping it to the bathroom mirror or pillow will work and they`ll start to understand  

Answer 17

Don't give them much attention! It sounds like they are taking you for granite. Ignore them and they'll come to you. I do it all the time. It works try it. They'll be telling you they love you in no time at all.

Answer 18

Not to diss your parents.. but ussually it's because they never intended to have children.