Why do some parents judge there children?

Question

Why do parents do this?

Like compare there kids with other kids and bag them if they dont live up to there expectations. Make there kids dress the way they want them to or stop there children from expressing them selves. Why do they expect there children to be beautiful little dears? Why does my mum compare me with university students and child genius and compleatly goes of at me (has a rage fit goes mad) if im not as smart as them or get a B in a test.

Why dont they even notice the things that matter like depression or there childs overall well being?

Why do some mother and fathers constantly let down there children?

cant they just accept that nobody is perfect becasue seriously they are doing children damage

For children do your parents do this?

and for parents how many people actuall do this and do parents even notice that they are hurting their children feelings?

Answer 1

Well, when we first get into this business of having kids, we imagine that they will be perfect.  OUR KIDS will surely be smarter, more athletic, more talented, and better looking than anyone else's, right?  OUR KIDS  will never struggle with depression or low self-esteem or hang around with bad peers, right. It doesn't help that the media portray kids as perfect or that everyone else provides all the latest fashions, educational toys, and trendy activities for their kids.  

Then the REAL kids come along, and we slowly have to come to terms with the fact that they are actual people, not some cute little angel from a TV commercial.  It's a long slow process, and for some parents, it's really hard.  Eventually most of us do realize that children, like everyone else, have their own strengths, weaknesses, interests, talents, and personalities.  They may not be the star athletes or class valedictorians that we imagined, but they WILL be good at something, and they WILL develop their own passions and  lifestyles.  What we need to do is face that fact, support their dreams (not ours), and then let them go with it.  We need to be sensitive to their problems, too.  There WILL be problems, even in the best of families.

I'm sorry if it doesn't seem like your parents accept you and support you.  I'm sorry to hear thay you think they're letting you down. I'm sure they love you very much.  But real parenting is a two-way process.  It depends on communication from the child to help the parent see reality.  If your parents are putting unreasonable pressure on you or hurting your feelings, have you told them this?  If you think you may be depressed, don't wait.  Talk to them.  Tell them how you feel.  If you've done that and haven't gotten any response, talk to your school counselor and get a referral to a medical professional.  That person can talk to your parents and help them see what's really going on.

Good luck.  Don't give up.  Get some support.  

Answer 2

I think it's because too many parents see their children simply as extensions of themselves, rather than people in their own right.

Every (well most) parent wants the best for their child, but we should be thinking about what's truly best for them, not what we want them to live up to.

I try to be respectful of my children, even at a young age, and as they get older I just want to help guide them into the people they will become.  Their lives are for them, not me.

Answer 3

"Their," not "There."

They just want what is best for you.  

They WANT you to get good grades and excel in life.  

They DON'T want to see you bugger around listening to MCR and shelling out hundreds of dollars on low-quality clothes at Hot Topic.

How is it wrong to want the best for your kids and feel wrong when they take a lower path?  Did you ever consider that YOU are hurting THEIR feelings by wasting your life away?

You could be a productive, contributing member in society.  Your parents see your potential.  That's why they are upset.

P.S. If wearing clothes "designed" by an off-brand "Made-In-China" label is your only means of self-expression, maybe you should do some soul searching...

Answer 4

There is a generation difference.  We all think of the same problem from a diffedt perspective.  Parents want the best for the offspring but cannot remember they were once Young.  Children cannot have the benefit of experience to know what to do.  We all judge each other but stop short if we don't agree.  Maybe if we listened to each other more life would be simpler.

Answer 5

My mother really done this to me, she just always never congradulated me with things, idk why that is though. It hurts alot when i done real good on something and i show her she just nods =/

Answer 6

See my question (sorry, i already picked best answer, you can't answer)..

I hate my mom because of this.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 7

they just think that we don't try our best.

they want us to look good or perfect. it's for our own good, or sometimes they'll be embarassed if we act like some kind of brats.

they think that other children are better or something.

i'm not sure, i'm just a teen.

my mom sometimes nag, but i just say that i'm not "them". i'm me.

my parents don't really care anymore.

that's good. haha